Chapter 10
But the world wasn’t so generous to me. Hyunjae said he didn’t know why he was crying. The tears just flowed, and he was simply very sad—that’s all he could honestly express with the maximum capability of a child his age. For a glimmer of hope, I interrogated Hyunjae for several days. But nothing changed. Just as a large wall doesn’t immediately crumble from a small crack, it seemed unreasonable to expect my life to change from that one crying episode.
I steeled my heart even more. Emotions became harder like metal, the more they were refined. I felt this directly through my body. Because of this, I could remain relatively calm even when Hyunjae wrote me a letter on my ninth birthday, or when I became a bystander to bullying at age ten. The kidnapping incident ended anticlimactically with Hyunjae returning safely that evening. Pretending not to care, I secretly glanced at the battered Hyunjae.
Hyunjae grew up vigorously without ever being loved. He was diligently falling apart. I knew my role. Just when Hyunjae was becoming accustomed to his misfortune, I would remind him of his situation and rub salt in his wounds. Since Yu Chanhee was a clever character, he didn’t openly torment people. Especially before Hyunjae manifested his ability, he would even provide charity bordering on pity.
When I didn’t know how to do bad things, the system kindly set the direction for me. I repeatedly pushed Hyunjae into the abyss without hesitation while pretending to extend a helping hand.
Like that, we passed through elementary school and were about to enter middle school. Since I’d never “lived” this long except in my first life, I was scared of each day. As more time passed from that day when I was eight, my turning point, I became more afraid of going back to that time. Going back meant I would have to watch Hyunjae fall apart again. I didn’t want to do that. So I was even more dedicated to the role of tormenting him.
On the day of the middle school entrance ceremony, all first-year students gathered on the field. From middle school onwards, students could formally receive Ranker education, so the regular classes and special education classes were separated. Having heard the rumor that I was Rank 1, several kids slyly approached me, pretending to be friendly. I didn’t reject them outright and welcomed them with a smile.
“Chanhee, you’ll be joining the Combat Division, right?”
“But Chanhee’s father is a Shielder, isn’t he?”
“Hey, you idiot, Chanhee’s hyung was a super famous Hunter.”
After mentioning Yu Dohyun, the kids suddenly seemed to feel guilty and looked at me cautiously. I smiled awkwardly among them. Whether my father was a Hunter or a Shielder didn’t matter to me, but it seemed to be quite an important issue among those kids. And for good reason—usually, renowned Ranker families chose the same profession generation after generation. Yu Dohyun was an exception because he was exceptionally suited to be a Hunter, but many people wondered if his younger brother Yu Chanhee would specialize as a Shielder following his father.
It seems that younger people are often attracted to the profession of Hunter, which appears cooler. Hunters possess the most diverse specialized abilities among professions. And what develops these specialized abilities is the “power” manifested in the first selection test. How much this power can drive a person mad could be seen just by looking at the character of Yu Chanhee, who summons his dead brother through necromancy and absorbs all his power.
In the original work, Yu Chanhee chooses to be a Shielder following his father’s recommendation. But as soon as Hyunjae gains power and shows talent as a Hunter, he takes the Hunter’s path, not to be outdone. So I should initially go with Shielder too.
“By the way, Chanhee, about that guy.”
A girl with a bob haircut carefully pointed to one side. Hyunjae was standing there all alone.
“Is he really living with you? Are you brothers?”
“…No.”
“Then… is he really that murderer?”
I hardened my expression. Thinking she’d touched on my wound, the girl quickly apologized. I shook my head.
“He’s not a murderer.”
“But your hyung…”
At that moment, my eyes met Hyunjae’s. I wasn’t flustered and continued speaking slowly.
“It’s not like Hyunjae wanted my hyung to die.”
Those words ultimately meant that my brother died because of Hyunjae. I was quite disgusted with myself for uttering such a cunning statement. Hyunjae stared at me without any particular reaction. Despite speaking according to the script, I felt rather exposed.
Hyunjae had become noticeably less talkative. He wasn’t a very talkative type to begin with, but it had been even more so for the past year or two. He often appeared lost in thought and sometimes even received warnings during class. It had been a long time since he’d spoken to me. However, he often stared at me intently like now, and pretending not to notice was actually quite troublesome.
Since this was my first time spending my teenage years not being close to Hyunjae, I didn’t know if this was the right way to live. I only guessed it was roughly correct because the system didn’t intervene and merely observed the situation.
Separately from that, I found it a bit annoying to spend time with pubescent teenagers. After all, though my body was like this, I’d already lived for decades. So occasionally, I would lie to the kids and hide myself in various places around the school. Empty storage rooms, study rooms used only at night, and the music room used by regular class students were mainly my hiding places. The music room in particular was one of my most frequently used hideouts because it was located in a remote place far from the main building. I often skipped lunch and rested sitting behind the music room.
Because it was a bit away from the school, the area around the music room was somewhat messy. Weeds grew wildly, and occasionally there was trash. When I got tired of just lying around sprawled out, I would take a walk along the building. Among the weeds, flowers sometimes bloomed. Looking at those flowers, I inevitably recalled Hyunjae from time to time. Thinking of Hyunjae who would’ve made bouquets with his small hands fidgeting, I smiled a little, albeit very slightly. I picked a few flowers in front of me and tied the stems together.
Right on cue, there was a rustling sound. I raised my head and looked toward the sound.
“What?”
I barely hid my surprised expression and got up. Hyunjae was walking toward me. Hyunjae looked at the flowers in my hand. I reflexively threw the flowers on the ground.
“Do you like flowers?”
“No.”
I answered quickly. Then I tried to pass by him. Hyunjae grabbed my wrist firmly.
“But I think you liked them.”
“…”
“Flowers.”
Hyunjae frowned, as if confused by his own words.
“I told you I don’t like them.”
You probably liked them. I swallowed the follow-up words and shook off his hand.
“Answer me just one thing.”
I hesitated momentarily as I was about to flee.
“Have I… forgotten something?”
My eyes widened. My heart began to race. My hands and feet trembled to the point of numbness, and a headache surged that I couldn’t control. Hoping desperately that Hyunjae wouldn’t notice this state, I barely managed to shake my head. I tried to speak, but my throat trembled so much that my voice wouldn’t come out properly, to the point where my tongue hurt. In the end, unable to do anything, I barely fled from that place. Fortunately, Hyunjae didn’t try to catch me. I continued running toward the classroom, not daring to look back in his direction.
Have I forgotten something.
But if I say yes, would we die again?
Only after I’d calmed down did I realize I was crying. Until lunch break ended, I sat on a staircase where no one passed through and quietly settled my heart.
