It was one of those days when he was desperately eager to confirm that line somehow.
On a weekend morning, after finishing his meal, Sarka sat at his personal desk doing his assignments.
Sarka, who had been mindlessly filling the paper, suddenly paused. It seemed his fountain pen ink had run out.
As Sarka opened the ink bottle to refill it, he frowned when he saw the bottle was empty.
Sarka rummaged through his desk drawer, but soon seemed to realize there was no ink left at all.
Sarka made a slightly irritated expression, then stood up from his seat.
Ruslan, who had been secretly watching Sarka take out his coat from the wardrobe, asked carefully.
“Going to buy ink?”
Sarka turned to look at Ruslan.
Ruslan sneakily checked his own ink bottle, which was nearly empty enough to see the bottom, then asked cautiously.
“I was planning to buy some today too…… Want to go together?”
Sarka looked at Ruslan for a moment. Ruslan waited nervously.
Sarka nodded obediently.
Ruslan jumped up and busily grabbed his coat and put it on.
The two walked wordlessly and arrived at the shop on the outskirts of campus.
Inside the store, it was crowded with students who had come out to buy stationery and snacks.
While Sarka picked up the black ink bottle he always used, Ruslan looked around the counter.
Hesitating, Ruslan asked the owner carefully.
“Um…… don’t you have blue ink?”
“Ah, we just ran out of blue. It won’t come in until tomorrow. Right now we only have black.”
Ruslan made a troubled face.
Black ink, mainly used for official documents, was expensive. Noble-born students like Sarka had no burden using expensive black ink regularly, but commoner-born students like Ruslan usually used cheap blue ink.
Could he make it until tomorrow with blue ink?
As Ruslan was worrying and gauging with a concerned face, Sarka, who had been quietly looking down at Ruslan, silently picked up another black ink bottle.
When Sarka finished paying and tossed him an ink bottle, Ruslan caught it awkwardly and looked up at Sarka with a surprised face.
Sarka wordlessly left the store.
“Uh, you don’t have to……”
Ruslan hurriedly chased after him and said in a flustered tone. Sarka said quietly.
“Don’t make me wait while stopping in a crowded place.”
Ruslan hesitated and read the mood, but Sarka didn’t look back at Ruslan.
Knowing that Sarka disliked crowded places, Ruslan hesitated and closed his mouth.
The two walked the schoolyard wordlessly for a while.
The forest path leading to the special dormitory was quiet. Most of the kids on weekend mornings were probably still sprawled out sleeping in their rooms, crowded at the playground playing cricket, or out in town.
Sunlight poured in fragments through the trees on the outskirts of the deserted schoolyard. Only the footsteps of the two boys quietly echoed on the forest path.
Ruslan, who had been lost in thought for a moment, carefully broke the silence and opened his mouth.
“You know……”
Sarka turned his head to look down at Ruslan.
Ruslan glanced up at Sarka, then held up the ink bottle and said carefully.
“……As thanks for this, I want to do something for you too……”
Sarka looked down at Ruslan with a gaze that seemed to ask ‘what?’
Ruslan scratched the back of his head awkwardly with an embarrassed expression.
“……The thing is, I can’t really think of anything, so I’ve been worrying about it.
……Is there anything I could do for you?”
No matter how much he racked his brain, Ruslan couldn’t think of any suitable gift he could give to a noble boy like Sarka.
Sarka didn’t like snacks, and most things Ruslan could buy, he either already had or could get in much better quality.
When Ruslan hesitated and read the mood, Sarka silently looked down at Ruslan blankly for a moment.
His green eyes slid over Ruslan’s face with a strange gaze.
Sarka’s adam’s apple moved as if he was going to say something, but instead of opening his mouth, he turned his gaze away.
Ruslan blinked as he watched Sarka’s eyes waver, lost in thought.
Ruslan got the feeling that Sarka clearly had something he wanted from Ruslan, just hadn’t said it yet.
It was just that Sarka seemed unable to judge whether it was an action that crossed the line or not.
Sarka had drawn some clear line between Ruslan and himself.
And that line seemed to be strictly applied not only to Ruslan, but to Sarka himself as well.
Like someone blocked and unable to emerge from the stockade he’d built himself, Sarka hesitated and remained silent.
When Sarka couldn’t bring himself to open his mouth in the end, Ruslan, who had been waiting, carefully suggested.
“……If there’s something you want to ask me, ask. I’ll definitely answer.”
Sarka turned his head to look at Ruslan.
His green gaze scanned over Ruslan’s navy blue eyes for a long time.
Ruslan felt Sarka’s jaw and neck stiffen with tension.
Sarka seemed to be choosing his words very carefully.
Finally, as if having selected certain words, Sarka’s mouth suddenly opened.
“You”
That voice was murky and low.
Ruslan stared intently at Sarka.
Sarka hesitated a bit more, wandering between words.
Ruslan waited, watching Sarka’s eyes waver and grow murky as if doing very difficult calculations.
Finally, Sarka laboriously produced one very short sentence.
“Are you…… not afraid of me?”
Ruslan blinked.
His green eyes keenly scanned inside Ruslan’s eyes.
Ruslan, who had been quietly meeting the carefully moving gaze, was lost in thought for a moment.
Hesitating and choosing his words, Ruslan glanced back at Sarka and answered quietly.
“……To be honest, sometimes…… I am scared.”
“……”
Sarka stared down at Ruslan blankly.
Ruslan carefully observed Sarka’s expressionless face while carefully selecting his words.
A quiet voice fell cautiously.
“I don’t really know how you think of me…… In case…… I’m misunderstanding.”
“……”
Sarka stared down at Ruslan blankly in silence.
Ruslan silently observed the faint shapes—he couldn’t read exactly what—tangling together inside Sarka’s green eyes.
Like reaching out to a veil he couldn’t lift and only groping the shapes beyond the fabric, Ruslan carefully scanned that gaze and asked very cautiously.
“Are we…… <friends>?”
Ruslan’s voice trembled faintly, mixed with thin anxiety and hope.
Sarka’s gaze wavered minutely.
Sarka lowered his eyes with a murky gaze as if lost in thought.
Ruslan swallowed dry saliva, trying somehow to at least trace the outline of the boy beyond the veil.
Sarka clearly had some answers.
He just wasn’t showing them to Ruslan, hiding them beyond the stockade.
Ruslan stared intently into Sarka’s green eyes, as if trying to at least grope the shadows of those invisible shapes.
“……”
After a long silence, Sarka turned his head.
The gaze was cut off.
Until they arrived at the room, Sarka didn’t open his mouth anymore.
In the end, Sarka avoided answering.
Ruslan’s ball wasn’t returned and disappeared into the darkness.
Ruslan let out a faint sigh.
Ruslan thought that he and Sarka were engaged in something like a subtle tug-of-war of power.
The rope between them was very thin and lay on the floor all tangled up.
The two boys had carefully wound up that rope from both sides, and now the rope was taut.
The boys could feel each other’s strength through the rope they gripped, and they knew that if one side rashly pulled the rope, the other side might let go, or it might break, unable to withstand the force from both sides.
Now they had to walk toward each other while holding the rope.
The two boys were trying not to let go of the rope while carefully controlling their strength, gauging the force the other person was pulling with.
Neither of them yet knew how far they should walk or where they should stop.
Ruslan couldn’t know what they would call that point when they finally stopped, facing each other.
We’re not dogs, not servants, and not yet <friends>……
Are we walking toward <friends>?
Or are we trying to stop at a completely different point?
He got the feeling that even Sarka hadn’t accurately decided on that point yet.
Watching the quietly silent boy, Ruslan waited anxiously.
In which direction do you want to pull me?
What’s the name of the point where you want to position me?
Before he knew it, the days had become quite chilly, and the month-end overnight stay day approached.
Esteban School was divided into 4 terms, and at the end of each term, a week-long vacation called ‘end-of-term holiday’ was given.
Other than that, once a month, an <overnight stay day> was given. From Friday afternoon to Sunday, it was a day when students were allowed to leave the school dormitory and stay outside.
For students from other countries like Ruslan, the overnight stay day was no different from other weekends except that Friday classes ended in the morning, for once Saturday classes were also off, and the dormitory became a bit quieter.
Occasionally some used this overnight stay day to go on weekend trips or visit friends’ houses, but for Ruslan, who didn’t particularly have such friends, it was just a faraway story.
However, Imperial students whose homes were within train distance often used this overnight stay day to go home and come back. It was a day when they could briefly leave the strict boarding school to see their families, so the faces of the children leaving school on overnight stay day were brightly swollen with anticipation.
Except for Sarka Hütivras, that is.
Watching Sarka pack his bags expressionlessly, Ruslan swallowed dry saliva.
When Ruslan learned that Sarka would return home on overnight stay day, his heart felt like it sank for a moment.
There was no emotion visible in Sarka’s eyes as he silently organized his bag, but Ruslan’s chest sank heavily.
What would it feel like to return home to ‘that kind of’ father?
For Ruslan, it seemed like it would be better to stay beside humans and do annoying acting than to return home to such a father.
But Sarka had dutifully returned home every single overnight stay day and end-of-term holiday for the past year and a half.
According to what Baigarten had told him, Sarka’s father wouldn’t be pleased to have Sarka beside his human wife.
Despite that, was Sarka dutifully returning home his own will?
Did Sarka dislike this school so much that he would rather choose to be beside the father who hated him?
If he could escape even for a few days from the humiliating daily life of hiding his identity and pretending to be human, he might not want to miss that opportunity.
Because for Sarka, who was always soaked in fatigue, it would be time to rest, free from his mission even if just for a few days.
Even if it was beside such a father…….
Sarka, who had closed his luggage bag, was now almost finished changing into outdoor clothes.
Lost in thought, Ruslan suddenly suggested as Sarka put on his coat.
“Want to play a game during overnight stay day?”
Sarka, who had been about to pick up his bag, turned to look at Ruslan.
Ruslan picked up a book from the desk and gestured with his chin at a book with the same title on Sarka’s desk.
“The Classical Literature professor told us to write a report on <The Legend of the Hero Raffgang>. I’m planning to read it this weekend too, so I borrowed it from the library. It looks like you haven’t finished reading it either.”
Sarka glanced at his own book with the bookmark stuck in the beginning, then looked back at Ruslan.
Ruslan put the book down on his lap and suggested carefully.
“Read this during overnight stay day, and when overnight stay day ends, quiz each other on the book’s contents. How about it?
The person who loses has to grant one thing the winner wants.”
Sarka stared at Ruslan blankly for a moment without answering.
Lost in thought, Sarka answered in a murky voice.
“……I don’t think I’ll have time to read the book.”
“Really?”
Ruslan’s eyes widened. Wasn’t overnight stay day a vacation?
While Ruslan hesitated, Sarka was lost in thought expressionlessly for a moment.
After a while, Sarka seemed to change his mind.
Sarka lightly gestured with his chin toward his book on the desk.
“……Give it here for now.”
When Ruslan quickly picked up Sarka’s book and held it out, Sarka silently accepted it.
Sarka opened his bag, put the book in, closed the lock again, and picked up the bag.
When Sarka crossed the room and opened the door, Ruslan, who had been reading the mood, greeted him carefully.
“Have a safe trip.”
“……”
Sarka looked at Ruslan for a moment, then wordlessly left the room.
Sarka strode across the living room and left without looking back.
Left alone in the luxurious special dormitory double room, Ruslan thought about Sarka for a long time.
