If there was one time when the two’s daily routines overlapped, it was only during breakfast time.
Ruslan now came in every morning without any particular words, holding a tray and placing it on the table by the window.
That spot was the middle point where the two’s divided territories met, and the only space during the day where Sarka and Ruslan sat facing each other.
Sarka always ate silently, and if Ruslan hesitated, lacking confidence to awkwardly carry on a conversation, the meal would end up finishing in silence.
As the quiet and awkward breakfasts repeated, Ruslan began to vaguely understand why Sarka had skipped breakfast all this time.
Sarka was not at all enthusiastic about eating, and as he himself said, he wasn’t completely without morning drowsiness either.
On some days, Sarka would wake up early in the morning and spend time lounging in the living room, but on other days, he would only draw back his bed curtains with a face full of fatigue around the time Ruslan hesitated after placing the plate on the table.
Sarka seemed to be the type who found it harder to overcome morning drowsiness than hunger.
Though he didn’t often sleep in late, on days following nights when he returned late or had been particularly on edge, he had such difficulty getting out of bed it was pitiful.
On such days, he would lose even his appetite and skip the meal entirely, or leave without even emptying half the plate.
No wonder on tired days he chose to sleep even one more hour and go hungry rather than go down to eat breakfast.
If he went down some days and not others, Sarka’s friends would begin to distinguish the days when Sarka was particularly tired.
Perhaps they might even notice what things troubled him, what things grated on his nerves.
Sarka, who habitually tried to hide his weaknesses, seemed to have therefore chosen to consistently skip breakfast altogether.
The more tired you are, the better you should eat…….
Sarka still hadn’t recovered the weight he lost during the discipline period. Ruslan’s insides burned every time Sarka looked down at the plate and just turned his back.
As Ruslan anxiously worried about how to make Sarka have even a little enthusiasm for breakfast, he suddenly realized one more characteristic of days when Sarka gave up on meals.
Sarka hated ‘eating alone’ to a strange degree.
Ruslan, who had become accustomed to Sarka skipping breakfast, would sometimes watch for a chance and start eating alone if there was no sign of Sarka’s bed curtains opening.
When Sarka woke up late and Ruslan was still picking at his plate, he would hesitate slightly before joining to pick at a biscuit or two.
It wasn’t always like that. There were many days when he would just glance at Ruslan eating and leave.
However, if Sarka woke up only after Ruslan had completely finished his meal, Sarka would absolutely not put food in his mouth alone even if it killed him.
Ruslan had never even seen Sarka tear open snacks or anything when alone.
Sarka, who wasn’t enthusiastic about eating, didn’t particularly like snacking either, but outside he didn’t refuse snacks offered by friends. He would accept and eat one or two as a courtesy, and occasionally gift snacks to friends as if reciprocating.
However, once he entered the room, Sarka didn’t even think of opening the packaging of the gifted snacks.
Various luxury snacks would pile up carelessly in a corner of the desk, then disappear the next day by being opened at gatherings with friends or gifted to someone, never entering Sarka’s mouth.
As far as Ruslan remembered, there was exactly one time when Sarka opened snacks in the room.
It was the morning after flying the paper airplane, when he crumbled them for the birds.
Ruslan guessed that probably not even one piece of those snacks entered Sarka’s mouth either.
Sarka strangely refused to eat anything at all by himself.
Especially in front of someone watching, he seemed not to even try to look at food.
It was one day.
Ruslan, concerned about what the picky eater Sarka mainly ate, unconsciously stared intently at the food Sarka was about to bite into.
As soon as the gaze was felt, Sarka’s movement stopped.
“……What?”
Sarka, who immediately stopped eating, asked in a sharp tone.
Only then realizing he had stopped eating too and was blankly staring only at Sarka’s mouth, Ruslan was startled and hastily shook his head.
“N-no…… Just……”
Ruslan fumbled trying to make some excuse, but Sarka’s expression had already hardened.
Sarka, with an expression of completely lost appetite, put down what he was holding and immediately stood up.
Watching Sarka’s back as he left the table without looking back, Ruslan swallowed dry saliva.
Only then did Ruslan think that the excuse Sarka had given that day was closer to complete truth than a pretext.
As Sarka said, Sarka ate food without much resistance in spaces where everyone was eating even if there were many people.
Though he didn’t have much morning drowsiness, he didn’t lack it either, and he hated bothersome things so he tried not to go outside the room unless necessary.
And he terribly hated both ‘eating alone’ and having someone ‘watch’ him eat alone.
Ruslan thought that the reason Sarka struggled to forcibly swallow soup on the day discipline ended might not have been simply because he hadn’t been able to eat for a long time.
If it weren’t for the special circumstance of his father coming, Sarka really wouldn’t have put that in his mouth in front of Ruslan and Baigarten ‘watching’ even if it meant starving to death.
Ruslan thought it was exactly like beasts of prey not wanting to show the defenseless appearance of eating in front of natural enemies.
It was unexpected.
When they first met, he thought Sarka had a personality that completely ignored others’ gazes…….
The more Ruslan lived with Sarka, the more he felt that Sarka was a far more sensitive boy than he had thought.
Now Ruslan thought he understood why Sarka occasionally had more morning drowsiness.
Sarka often had sleepless nights.
If something went even slightly wrong in ways like being too tired, or becoming sensitive in mood, or the surroundings being noisy, Sarka had difficulty sleeping.
When there were sounds different from usual, like rain or nightingales singing, Ruslan could hear Sarka continuously tossing even in his sleep.
On days when thunder struck or windows rattled in the wind, Sarka would give up entirely and go out to the living room to read books or look out the window and stay up all night.
Just Ruslan drawing back the bed curtains to go to the bathroom or drink water seemed to reflexively wake Sarka.
Like a beast driven into a dangerous situation always on guard of its surroundings, Sarka woke often and didn’t sleep deeply.
The next day after tossing all night and barely falling asleep at dawn when everything became quiet, he couldn’t even wake up in the morning and would skip meals while being languid.
Ruslan remembered that once, regarding why he didn’t take in roommates, Sarka had made excuses to friends that it was because he was sensitive to sleep sounds.
At the time, Ruslan thought that was a blatant lie. That he monopolized a four-person room and made sleep sound excuses because he didn’t want to suppress his superpowers pretending to be human even in his room, and was too bothered to be tense about when and how he might be caught by humans.
But that excuse, though it may not have been the main reason for insisting on a private room, wasn’t a lie either.
Sarka was sometimes seriously sensitive to sleep sounds.
It was the day when Ruslan realized in the middle of sleep that he had put on his nightshirt inside out, and struggled to put it back on properly in his sleep.
After laboriously taking off the clothes, Ruslan fumbled with them for a long while before barely distinguishing front from back.
After putting his head through, he was wandering around looking for the sleeves in the darkness when suddenly the curtain was yanked open.
When startled Ruslan turned around, an irritated voice stretched out from the darkness.
“You’re noisy.”
Ruslan froze with his arm half inserted.
Beyond the open curtain, red eyes faintly glowed. It was a gaze irritated to the top of the head after enduring and enduring.
“S-sorry……”
When frozen Ruslan fumbled an apology, Sarka again irritably closed the bed curtain with telekinesis and rustled as he turned over.
……He wakes up even at such small sounds?
Ruslan unconsciously swallowed saliva. It was truly an extremely sensitive nerve.
When deciding to take him in as a roommate, Ruslan suddenly thought that what Sarka had to give up might not have been only the one paper airplane hanging on the wall.
In the end, Ruslan gave up on inserting one arm and slept awkwardly with it half out.
From Ruslan’s perspective, Sarka’s insomnia seemed very old.
To see it as temporary tension from a stranger entering, Sarka during the day was exactly as Ruslan had seen him over the past year and a half.
A boy always neat and tidy, often exuding a strangely languid and mysterious atmosphere.
At one time, he had even thought, how could a sixteen-year-old boy exude such a strange atmosphere from that dreamlike ambiance as if walking out of a dream?
But looking now, he was just a good-looking insomniac.
The next day after sleeping peacefully without incident, Sarka maintained a straight back and tidy attitude all day long.
However, the next day after particularly severe tossing and staying up all night from continuously waking, Sarka would blink slowly with a languid expression all day.
Since his features were so exceptionally handsome and beautiful, even that appearance exuded a strange sensuality and made observers feel strange, but in fact that was simply Sarka looking tired.
He wondered if Sarka made such expressions on purpose to enchant people…… He was just sleepy.
Ruslan felt deflated.
After observing a bit more, Ruslan also noticed that on such days, Sarka was particularly irritable and easily became aggressive about everything.
It was natural. Anyone becomes sensitive and sharp when they can’t sleep.
Thinking that his violent and dirty personality was all because of insomnia, it was emptily but perfectly convincing.
Then perhaps his original personality wasn’t as dirty as that……?
Again, Sarka, who had tossed all night, skipped breakfast.
His movement of stroking his nape with a languid face was still elegant and impossibly beautiful, but Ruslan now felt worry instead of admiration.
Not sleeping well, not eating well…… What strength is he even walking around with?
