Chapter 75: This Time Will Be Different
Dohyuk’s lips hardened into a straight line. Heavy silence fell again until the elevator arrived at the top floor with a mechanical chime.
After exiting the elevator, Dohyuk held his key card to the door lock, and with a beeping sound, the lock was released. He opened the door and gestured for Yeon to enter first. Seeming somewhat accustomed to this now, Yeon stepped inside. Following behind, Dohyuk grabbed Yeon’s arm before he could even take off his shoes, turning him around.
Perhaps due to the sudden action, Yeon’s large blue eyes turned toward Dohyuk’s face. Bang! When Dohyuk grabbed both his shoulders and pushed him toward the shoe cabinet, Yeon flinched as his back hit it.
“Why am I so agitated inside?”
Though the distance between them was less than a hand’s width, Yeon didn’t avoid Dohyuk’s gaze.
“I feel like I’m going crazy with anger.”
Dohyuk’s hand gripped Yeon’s neck. It was a slender neck that seemed like it would break with just a little pressure.
“Because someone tried to kill me? No, that doesn’t matter.”
It was surprising that they had infiltrated Dragon Holdings, but if the instigator was an insider, it wasn’t so shocking.
“Because they’re working behind the scenes to entangle me with Kang Sunhyuk? Even that—I just need to find out which bastard is behind it, and that’s that.”
The ill-fated connection that Yeon always worried about wasn’t a threat to Dohyuk. Maybe because he couldn’t see the black thread or whatever it was with his own eyes, but he thought that whatever it was—an ill-fated connection or anything else—he could just solve it somehow when it came.
There was nothing new about it, nothing to feel anxious or upset about. For Dohyuk, it was already routine, just part of the path he had walked. So it definitely wasn’t recent events making him feel bad.
His hand moved up from Yeon’s neck to grasp his chin. Despite the strong grip pressing on both his cheeks, Yeon didn’t push him away, continuing to meet Dohyuk’s gaze steadily.
“Your eyes.”
Dohyuk growled as if he would devour Yeon, pulling his face closer. The distance narrowed until their lips nearly touched.
“Are you really looking at me with those eyes?”
At Dohyuk’s question, Yeon’s pupils wavered slightly.
“Until now, I naturally thought you were obsessing over my ill-fated connection to protect me.”
As the distance closed further, Yeon could no longer endure and squeezed his eyes shut. But instead of pressing their lips together, Dohyuk turned his face to bring his lips to Yeon’s ear.
“But I realized that’s not it. You…”
Dohyuk’s breath brushed against his ear. At the chilling sensation, different from ticklishness, Yeon’s shoulders trembled involuntarily.
“You’re obsessing over my ill-fated connection to completely cut ties with me.”
His heart turned cold at the chilling voice. With his body frozen by Dohyuk’s presence, unable to move, Dohyuk released Yeon’s face and pulled back.
“You don’t deny it.”
Dohyuk’s tone grew even colder. With his lips set firmly, he stared silently at Yeon before turning away first. Bang! Only after hearing the bedroom door close could Yeon slide down to sit against the shoe cabinet.
So he is angry with me.
Realizing this, his heart began to ache. It was ridiculous. While wishing to cut this red thread connecting them if possible, he didn’t want Dohyuk to be angry with him… A hollow laugh escaped at these contradictory emotions.
Inside the bedroom, Dohyuk threw off his suit jacket and roughly pulled down his tie. He now clearly understood why he had been feeling unpleasant all day.
From the time Yeon came as a client until now, he had consistently looked only at him. He didn’t dislike having those clear eyes directed at him. Far from feeling cumbersome, he had even felt it was natural. But today he realized—Yeon wasn’t looking at “Kang Dohyuk.” He was looking at someone else through Kang Dohyuk.
A shaman who remembers his past life. That alone was enough of a hint, but stupidly, he had only just noticed…
“Yeon.” Whenever he called him that, Yeon’s eyes would waver. Thinking it was because Yeon was moved by him, he had mischievously called him that way more affectionately on purpose. He had been satisfied that Yeon couldn’t hide his reactions.
But even that wavering might not have been directed at him. What if they had the same name in the past? Ha, a hollow laugh escaped at his own hypothesis.
“Since you can cut ill-fated connections, I’ll call you Yeon.”
It was he who had given Yeon that name. What was Yeon’s expression when he said he would call him Yeon? He couldn’t remember because he hadn’t been interested in him at that time.
That name, which had naturally come to mind, might have been what his past self called Yeon. Thinking this way, he felt indescribably filthy.
It was a name given by someone who was him but not him. Yeon wavered whenever that name was called affectionately. What moved that guy might not be the current Kang Dohyuk but his past self that Yeon remembered.
What a fucking mess. He would almost prefer if Yeon had feelings for someone else. Then he could just get rid of that person. But for the one making him feel so low to be his past self… Unable to deal with the source of his displeasure, his irritation surged even more.
Even with the same name, the Yeon in front of him now wasn’t the Yeon from the past. Even if their connection had been repeated many times in past lives, the past was just the past—a different life from the present. So why was Yeon looking at the past instead of the present?
“Ah…”
As he thought this far, Dohyuk swallowed a groan. Right now, he was desiring Yeon’s “heart.” The past cannot invade the present. So the fact that Yeon was by his side remained unchanged. Even if he was seeing Dohyuk overlaid with his past self, Yeon would ultimately stay by his side. But he couldn’t be satisfied with just that. He wanted not only for Yeon to be beside him but to see the current him. He was greedily wanting Yeon’s heart to be completely directed toward him.
“Ha… haha…”
A hollow laugh burst out. He had never even imagined that a day would come when he would desire someone else’s heart. Fundamentally, Kang Dohyuk divided the world into himself and others. He didn’t fully trust or need anyone but himself. Sometimes they might move with the same purpose, but others were beings who could turn into enemies at any time.
This feeling contradicted his beliefs. He was hoping that Yeon, at least, would not betray him, that whatever happened, Yeon would only look at him.
To think that was the reason for the thirst that wouldn’t go away even with Yeon by his side—it was absurd.
As his displeasure subsided, his head cooled. Having understood the reason, the answer was simple. He just needed to make Yeon’s heart turn to him as well. But the method wasn’t as simple as the answer. Dohyuk had never tried to win someone’s heart before. He felt at a loss about how to make Yeon’s heart turn to him.
Perhaps he should just embrace him. After his body became familiar with him, wouldn’t his heart follow?
Suddenly, he recalled Yeon, lying beside him, not knowing what to do with his lust. Ha, another sigh escaped. He had already guessed that Yeon had probably been intimate with his past self. But now, the meaning of that hit him properly.
Yeon remembered. He remembered how he had been embraced by him, or rather, by his past self, which was why he had been bewildered by unexplained heat, swayed by those memories.
“Damn it…”
A curse slipped through his teeth. If he embraced Yeon now, Yeon would surely accept it overlaid with his past life memories. He probably wouldn’t even refuse. Since it happened in the past, he would naturally accept Dohyuk wanting to embrace him now.
For the first time, he shuddered at Yeon’s resignation to his life. That guy seemed like he had mastered life only because he possessed memories from his past life. It wasn’t because he had experienced much as a shaman, but because he remembered every detail of what had happened with his past self, so no matter what Dohyuk did, Yeon would connect it to his past life and already have an answer.
Unlike Yeon, Dohyuk had no intention of being swayed by past lives. Whatever he had done to Yeon in his past life, whatever he had said, it had nothing to do with who he was now. So he had no intention of cutting the red thread that supposedly bound him and Yeon. Nor would he let Yeon cut it.
He was Kang Dohyuk. Not Yeon’s past connection, but his present destiny.
***
After showering and coming out to the living room, he saw Yeon sitting vacantly on the sofa. He had changed into a white shaman’s outfit at some point. Based on his pattern so far, he seemed to wear that outfit when he wanted mental stability.
Dohyuk sat down across from him without a word. Though Yeon must have seen him sit down, his eyes didn’t follow. He kept his gaze slightly lowered, looking only at the empty table. Dohyuk’s eyes moved to the embroidery on Yeon’s clothes.
That embroidery had bothered him from the first time he saw it. It was the same on all of them. Though the style varied, they all depicted one bird killing another by biting its neck.
So that’s how you see me.
Now he seemed to clearly understand how Yeon perceived him.
“It’s ironic.”
When Dohyuk spoke, Yeon slowly raised his head to look at him.
“You think I’ll bite you to death, yet you still end up by my side.”
Realizing that Dohyuk’s gaze was directed at the embroidery on his clothes, Yeon let out a short, “Ah.” But he didn’t add anything else. He neither denied nor confirmed Dohyuk’s observation.
“This time will be different.”
Dohyuk spoke while still looking at the bird on Yeon’s belt that was tearing at another bird’s neck.
“I won’t bite you to death.”
Yeon’s eyes widened at these unexpected words.
“Neither I nor you will die. Nor will I hurt you.”
Yeon’s blue eyes began to waver. Dohyuk continued speaking, looking straight at Yeon.
“So you look straight at me too. Kang Dohyuk, the current me.”
After a momentarily blank expression, Yeon seemed to understand what he meant and bit his lip. Dohyuk stood up and stood right in front of Yeon. He reached out and pulled Yeon’s lip from between his teeth, causing Yeon’s gaze to rise.
“Then I’ll make sure that the red thread binding you and me won’t be stained with blood.”
At this point, the reason didn’t matter anymore. He wouldn’t let go. No matter what happened, absolutely not. To do that, he needed to eliminate the fundamental reason for Yeon’s fear.
