It was time to sleep, but his mind was restless and sleep wouldn’t come. Kang Siwon quietly closed his eyes. The sound of water coming from far away pierced his ears clearly.
Shwaaaaaa…….
After a moment, the shower stopped. At the thought that Ray Jun would come in soon, Kang Siwon swallowed his dry saliva.
As expected, the sound of the door opening came. His heart pounded for some reason. Just as he gripped the edge of the blanket tightly, the bed pressed down heavily.
“…….”
Feeling the strong arms embracing him, Kang Siwon was secretly relieved. His attitude seemed a little different from usual, so he had unconsciously tensed up.
After sleeping in the same bed once, Ray Jun would burrow into Kang Siwon’s side every night as if it were natural, claiming his spot. It was like a cat monopolizing its owner’s affection, confidently settling on the bed without any worry about being chased away. If he hadn’t come to his bed even on this last day, it would have been disappointing.
“Xie Wei, are you asleep?”
Ray Jun buried his head in Kang Siwon’s nape and mumbled.
“I’m not sleeping.”
“…….”
“But why aren’t you answering? Are you trying to hurt my feelings?”
“No, just…….”
“Xie Wei, don’t you have anything to say to me?”
“What would I suddenly have to say?”
“Just anything. Even something trivial is fine.”
There were many things he wanted to say. It was just that there were no words he could say.
How could he possibly let out words like being sorry for deceiving him, or that he probably liked him more than Ray Jun thought?
“……Ray Jun.”
After hesitating, he parted his lips but as expected, words wouldn’t come out. Then Ray Jun tightened his arms around Kang Siwon and pressed him.
“Yeah. I’m listening.”
“That, the day you bought me food in Coloane.”
“Ah, our first date?”
“I was grateful that you told me I was a good person then.”
Kang Siwon continued while appropriately ignoring Ray Jun’s joke.
“I…… always only thought that I was lacking. But because you said that, how should I put it. I was able to acknowledge my own efforts for the first time, I guess…… Anyway, yeah. You were the first person to tell me I was amazing.”
“Did that make you that happy?”
“……Yeah.”
He replied in a small voice, braving his embarrassment. Because if not now, there might be no chance to convey his gratitude. Already parting while full of regrets, he wanted to reduce the things to regret even a little.
“I see. I liked that day too, Xie Wei.”
Ray Jun said in a low voice. That voice, similar to the lighting in this bedroom, was pleasant to hear.
“Ray Jun, can I contact you again later?”
“Of course. Were you really not planning to contact me? You’re really heartless, Xie Wei.”
“Why are you pushing it like that again? Anyway, thank you for everything. Thanks to you, I’m leaving with many amazing experiences.”
If it weren’t for Ray Jun, life at Sovereign would have been much harder. Learning Chinese from him, how he welcomed him whenever he came home exhausted from tension, teaching him that men could sleep together—in many ways, Ray Jun was a major turning point in his life.
But he felt sorry and regretful that he hadn’t treated him as well in return. Even if he could turn back time, it probably wouldn’t change much, but every moment seemed to remain as a regret.
Finding it a waste to let time flow by like this, Kang Siwon turned over to face Ray Jun. At this, Ray Jun lowered his head as if he’d been waiting.
Smooch.
It was a peck like a bird pecking with its beak. At that soft touch, Kang Siwon recalled their first kiss in Hong Kong. Back then he was too surprised and flustered, but now he even felt comfortable.
“…….”
This time Kang Siwon stole a kiss first. The act of digging between Ray Jun’s lips and tangling their tongues had become quite natural. It was clearly different from the past when he’d been frozen stiff, not knowing what to do.
“……Ha.”
After the short but satisfying kiss ended, Kang Siwon let out a hot breath. Ray Jun caressed his lips and asked.
“What’s this, you going first? Is it a farewell gift?”
“What kind of gift is this?”
“Then is there a real farewell gift? Can I look forward to it?”
Ray Jun briefly released his embrace and took off Kang Siwon’s t-shirt. He always felt this, but he didn’t know how someone could be so skilled at undressing others. In an instant, his pants and underwear were stripped off following each other.
“Hey, you right now…….”
“I’m unwrapping the present, why?”
“……What a disgusting thing to say.”
“Hmm, you sure can say that. When you’ve got it standing up like this.”
Ray Jun flicked Kang Siwon’s center. Actually, Kang Siwon’s meaning was that it was preposterous to express himself like a gift, but Ray Jun seemed to have taken it as a provocation. He stroked the shaft forcefully.
“Ah, wait a minute……!”
Kang Siwon got aroused quickly. Already his lower back was tingling, as if he might pathetically ejaculate. Feeling a sense of crisis that he might remain in Ray Jun’s memory as a premature ejaculator, Kang Siwon tensed his thighs and held back tightly.
Fortunately, before ejaculating, Ray Jun’s touch gradually moved to another place. The problem, if it was a problem, was that place happened to be between his legs. The finger that lightly traced his perineum soon touched his buttocks.
Ray Jun, who had climbed on top of Kang Siwon before he knew it, pulled down his lower garments. His ferociously erect penis sprang out. It was large enough to see its outline even in the darkness. Kang Siwon unknowingly gulped down his saliva.
“I really like the gift.”
Ray Jun’s long fingers slowly caressed down Kang Siwon’s upper body. Passing the collarbone down to below the chest. Each path those fingertips passed left a ticklish pleasure.
“But I won’t accept it.”
Even while saying that, Ray Jun pressed his penis against Kang Siwon’s buttocks. The thick glans pressed firmly against the hole that wasn’t even loosened.
“You said you liked it?”
“But it’s a farewell gift.”
“Whether you accept it or not, I’m leaving tomorrow anyway, aren’t I?”
“Why are you saying such mean things?”
Ray Jun grumbled as if his own attitude was bad and briefly pulled his penis back. Instead, as he pushed in his finger, Kang Siwon, realizing what he was trying to do, mumbled in a small voice.
“It’s fine, so just do it…….”
“Hm?”
“Just put it in. You don’t need to loosen me up.”
Since his body had heated up from when they were kissing, there was no need for foreplay or anything. Of course, to accept it without difficulty, he should loosen the muscles, but right now, it didn’t matter either way.
Was thinking that even the pain of insertion would be welcome because he’d gone crazy for a moment, or was it because some masochist trait was hidden inside him? He didn’t know, but he hoped it wasn’t the latter. Life was already one mountain after another—wouldn’t it become even harder if he was an abnormal sexual pervert on top of that?
“Will you be okay? It’ll hurt.”
While only worrying with his mouth, Ray Jun once again aligned his glans with the hole. As he pushed in with force, the sensation of the hole spreading was vividly felt. A dull sense of pressure came up, but Kang Siwon exhaled and accepted his thing.
“It doesn’t matter. Do whatever you want.”
“Wow, is it my birthday today? I don’t think I’ve lived virtuously, but I’m getting a gift like this.”
Come to think of it, his birthday was getting close—Ray Jun, who muttered that, grabbed Kang Siwon’s pelvis and thrust his hips. The penis dug in persistently, forcing apart the tightly closed inner walls. Even though he’d experienced it several times and had prepared himself, that dull pain was considerable enough that his brow furrowed on its own.
But such vivid pain seemed to make him feel Ray Jun’s presence even more clearly, so he was rather glad. Perhaps he’d been dyed by Ray Jun and become a pervert.
“……I’ve gone as far as I can go.”
“Where are you trying to go again?”
Ray Jun pulled his penis out slightly and pushed it in deeper than before. His internal organs seemed to shift upward from the penis that charged in roughly.
“Ah, a little slower……!”
“You haven’t even given me an answer yet.”
Contrary to his deliberately coy tone, below his waist was completely like a beast. Ray Jun didn’t stop his thrusting motions like mating. No matter how consciously he tried to relax, it was normal to hurt when something that thick went in and out of a narrow hole. Should he have gone through foreplay after all—Kang Siwon had belated regrets.
“Huk! ……An, answer to what?”
“An answer to my confession. Do you still need time, Xie Wei?”
“That already, I rejected it and it’s over……. Hngh.”
“Who decided it’s over? Then I’ll confess again. I like you, Xie Wei. So stay by my side.”
He was completely unreasonable. But that appearance wasn’t all bad. Having thought about it several times since his resignation was decided, if only he hadn’t buttoned the first button wrong as ‘Xie Wei,’ he would have accepted Ray Jun’s confession.
“……I’m sorry.”
Whether it was the expected answer, Ray Jun wasn’t very shaken. Only that crescent moon-like face that looked especially white in the darkness distorted slightly. Kang Siwon looked up at him vacantly and mumbled.
“Sorry…….”
Sorry for deceiving him all along, and sorry again for not being able to accept his feelings.
Of course, rejecting a confession wasn’t wrong, but in Kang Siwon’s thinking, this case was different. There were definitely moments when he too felt his heart connect with Ray Jun. And Ray Jun had also noticed his feelings. Nevertheless, he was most sorry that rejecting and pushing him away again in such a cruel manner might hurt him.
“It can’t be helped.”
Ray Jun kissed Kang Siwon’s forehead as if to comfort him. As their bodies pressed close, hot body heat was transmitted. The penis that came in deep seemed to press firmly on the center of his stomach, making Kang Siwon swallow a moan.
After stopping in that state for a moment to fully feel the inner walls that stuck to him stickily, Ray Jun began moving his hips again. At that tingling stimulation, Kang Siwon let out a moan.
“I now know all the parts you like.”
“Ah, ……hngh!”
As if proving those words, Ray Jun persistently thrust up at the parts where Kang Siwon felt especially sensitive. At the same time, with skilled hand movements he stroked his center, making him feel like he’d lose his mind.
“Ju-just a moment, slowly…….”
“Why? You said I could do whatever I wanted.”
“That’s not it. ……Huk! I, I think I’m going to come.”
Though he spat it out braving the embarrassment, Ray Jun’s lewd movements didn’t stop. Being stimulated in front and back simultaneously, his vision dizzily flashed.
