Chapter 65: Unexpected Heat
Even breathing could be heard from behind. Dohyuk seemed to have already fallen asleep as there was no movement at all. Meanwhile, Yeon couldn’t fall asleep—though his eyes were closed, his nerves were on edge. Afraid that Dohyuk might notice, he couldn’t even toss and turn freely.
His arm had gone numb from lying on one side for too long. When he had no choice but to roll over, he could see Kang Dohyuk’s profile as he slept in a straight position. His high bridge of nose was visible even in the darkness. His slightly angular, sharp jawline and firmly closed lips were also clearly visible.
‘Yeon.’
The voice calling his name seemed to repeat vividly in his ears again. He could no longer distinguish whether it was a voice from his old memories or Kang Dohyuk’s voice.
When Dohyuk had called him like that in the study, the past and present became entangled. Though he’d pushed away his hand saying he didn’t know anything, his pounding heart wouldn’t calm down, and he couldn’t move for a long time.
Kang Dohyuk… and that person deeply embedded in his memories… Their faces merged into one, then separated, over and over.
As Yeon stared blankly at Dohyuk’s face, he lifted his hand toward Dohyuk’s face as if entranced. But just before touching his cheek, his hand stopped in midair. Wondering what he was trying to do, he quickly withdrew his hand and lay back down.
He wanted to touch him. He wanted to confirm his warmth.
And after that?
The emotions rushing forth like a breaking dam were bewildering. As he clenched his molars and closed his eyes, all kinds of memories—his own yet not his own—became entangled.
‘Come here.’
He took the large hand extended to him. The fabric draped over his shoulders slipped to the floor. The hand caressing his cheek traced down to his nape. Everywhere the man’s fingertips touched, fire spread. He knew the heat the man gave him. He knew what that pleasure was like.
Suddenly, his body felt strange. Alarmed by the sensation of blood rushing downward, he quickly sat up.
This can’t be happening.
Yeon had never done anything like this with anyone. Just recalling a scene from his memory was enough to make all his senses go wild. Memory and experience were different. The discrepancy made him even more confused. He had never learned or been taught how to handle this.
Unable to bear the unfamiliar sensation, he curled up, wrapping his arms around his legs. He still felt a tickling sensation in his stomach, but didn’t know what to do about this yearning feeling.
“What are you doing?”
Either he had just woken up or hadn’t been asleep at all, Dohyuk asked as he sat up. Seeming to sense something was wrong, he turned on the bedside lamp to check Yeon’s face. But Yeon remained with his face buried between his knees.
“If you’re in pain, I’ll call a doctor, just tell me.”
Dohyuk was about to get off the bed as if to get his phone. Yeon hastily grabbed the hem of his shirt. He shook his head at Dohyuk who turned to look.
“It’s not… that I’m in pain.”
“Then why are you like this?”
Looking down at Yeon, he narrowed his eyes.
“Look at me.”
He grabbed Yeon’s chin, who was trembling slightly, and forcibly made him look up. Dohyuk’s expression hardened as he saw Yeon’s eyes, which couldn’t find their focus and were wavering.
Ungh. When Dohyuk’s hand brushed against his cheek, Yeon let out a brief moan, then stiffened. Only then did Dohyuk realize Yeon’s condition.
“Ha…!”
It was honestly bewildering—a situation he never expected. He never thought he’d see this doll-like person, who seemed not just ascetic but completely devoid of desire, struggling to handle the heat spreading through his body. Before that, he couldn’t figure out why he suddenly became like this.
“Surely you’re not going to say you don’t know why you’re in this state.”
Even as he spoke, he thought, “Surely not.” Even though he had lived in a place disconnected from worldly matters, he was an adult, and judging by his reactions when he first provoked him, he seemed to know everything he needed to know. But Yeon remained silent, biting his lips tightly.
He had already noticed Yeon’s lack of experience, but could it be that he didn’t know about lust at all?
Having reached a conclusion about Yeon’s condition, he didn’t even bother to sigh.
“Come here.”
Sitting back on the bed, Dohyuk pulled Yeon to sit in front of him. Even just the touch on his arm made Yeon flinch noticeably. This is ridiculous. This could make even the most innocent person have wicked thoughts.
With one hand, he wrapped around Yeon’s waist and pulled him into his arms. Yeon struggled to break free, but there was no way he could overpower Dohyuk.
“Let go, ah!”
Yeon, who had been trying to push him away, let out a moan as Dohyuk’s other hand moved below his waist.
“Just stay still. I’m trying to help you resolve this.”
He moved the arm wrapped around Yeon’s waist up to embrace his chest. Just as the hand lingering at his lower waist was about to slip inside his clothes, Yeon’s body leaped up. Twisting his body as if having a seizure, he escaped from Dohyuk’s arms and got off the bed.
He collapsed with a thud as if his legs had given out when trying to move urgently. Dohyuk frowned and approached to help him up, but Yeon, seeing Dohyuk’s hand reaching toward him, recoiled in panic.
“Don’t touch me.”
Despite his firm words, Yeon’s body was trembling slightly.
Looking at Yeon, who seemed terrified, Dohyuk felt a mix of emotions. Countless people had trembled in fear before him. Since he was the one who had driven them to such situations, he never felt emotional seeing people begging for their lives in fear.
But now, his feelings were indescribably complex. He felt wronged, wondering what he had done to deserve this reaction; he felt angry seeing Yeon stubbornly rejecting help while not knowing what to do; he felt annoyed that Yeon was refusing his help despite not knowing how to resolve it himself. But among all those emotions, bitterness was the strongest.
“You’re really being troublesome.”
Clicking his tongue, Dohyuk ignored Yeon’s words and approached, picking him up easily. Yeon struggled, but this time Dohyuk held firm. He carried him to the adjoining bathroom, placed him in the tub, and turned on the shower. Though Yeon was still clothed, Dohyuk didn’t care about that.
Shwaaaa. Cold water poured from the shower. Soaked from head to toe, Yeon shivered and glared at Dohyuk.
“Seems like you’re better now.”
Seeing strength return to Yeon’s eyes, Dohyuk turned the shower to warm water. His gaze moved to Yeon’s center. Thanks to the cold water, it seemed to have subsided now.
“Come out when you’ve calmed down. I’ll leave clothes for you to change into.”
Only after Dohyuk left and the bathroom door closed did Yeon release the tension in his body and breathe deeply. Thanks to the cold water, the strange heat that had been warming his body had subsided. However, the stirring in his chest hadn’t calmed down at all.
As he huddled under the warm shower water, he still felt bewildered by this first-time experience.
He thought he knew. Because of his past life memories, he couldn’t help but know what kind of relationship he and that person had. He could clearly tell it was himself, but there was a distance, like watching a movie from beyond the screen. But today, for the first time, the scene of that act came alive as if he was experiencing it directly, with all sensations revived. That’s why he was engulfed by an unknown heat.
Why suddenly… The vivid sensation was disconcerting.
“No way… That’s impossible.”
He shook his head at the sudden hypothesis.
Because he was staying close to Kang Dohyuk, because he was sleeping in the same bed with him, because he had kissed him, because he knew what his heat felt like… These things were beginning to break down the wall he had firmly built.
Before meeting Kang Dohyuk, whenever Yeon saw the red thread wrapped around his hand, he vowed: even if it was an inescapable fate, he would prevent his life from being stained with blood, and beyond that, he would never get entangled with him emotionally or physically.
But that wall was starting to crumble. The more they were together, the more helplessly his heart was being drawn in, and now it was beginning to control Yeon’s body as well.
***
After closing the bathroom door, Dohyuk stood motionless, looking down at his hand. Frowning, he ran that hand through his bangs and exhaled a long breath.
He had almost touched him right then and there. If Yeon hadn’t pushed him away, he might not have stopped at just relieving the boy’s heat. He had no inclination to forcibly take someone who clearly refused. He had no regrets about not doing so.
But he had tried to touch him. The pale face of the boy, who didn’t know what to do with his body’s condition, had nearly ignited his desire. He wanted to throw him down, crush those red lips, and embrace his body.
“I’m really going crazy.”
He had never felt such an intense desire in his life. Especially sexually, he was so indifferent it bordered on disinterest. Though he had relationships when necessary, he had never felt so desperate to hold someone that he thought he might go mad. Not even once.
Was this also the influence of the red thread? The image of Yeon’s disheveled face kept appearing in his mind. If he had kept him in front of him, he might have forcibly taken him despite his refusal. That’s why he had taken him to the bathroom and thrown him in the tub. He had made him get drenched in cold water because he thought he could only maintain his reason if Yeon came to his senses.
‘I wonder if you’ll ever want to embrace me.’
How many days had it been since he said those words? The answer was already clear.
He roughly placed clothes for Yeon to change into on the bed and left the bedroom. It seemed unreasonable to sleep in the same bed with Yeon tonight. Yeon wasn’t the only one embarrassed by the heat rushing downward.
Whether it was work or people, Dohyuk was someone who thought there was nothing he couldn’t have if he wanted it, but forcibly taking someone wasn’t his style. So tonight, he needed to keep his distance from Yeon.
