─Click.
“Haa, haa…”
If I had faced Daesu hyung one-on-one, I definitely would have gotten a headlock and at least 5 knuckle punches on my head. Despite such humiliation, I couldn’t stop my sneaky computer usage.
While catching my ragged breath, I suddenly thought carefully about the unfamiliar smell I’d caught from Seongheon hyung’s embrace. Hyung sometimes smelled like fabric softener similar to baby powder, but this bitter scent was a first. It was just like the cigarette smell I’d caught from Dad’s coat.
‘No way…’
Seongheon hyung was always bright and his behavior was upright. I’d never heard him curse or seen him yell, but that hyung smoking? I’d even heard at parents’ gatherings that he studied the best among the hyungs and they were going to send him to study abroad.
“There’s no way hyung smokes. Students aren’t allowed to smoke.”
Since Dad’s cigarette smoke sometimes soaked into my clothes too, I thought it was a smell that got on him from somewhere.
Then I heard the sound of the hyungs coming upstairs so I opened my room door slightly. I had the lock button pressed so I could lock it anytime in case Daesu hyung ambushed me.
When you go up the stairs, hyung’s room is directly opposite from my room. They were grabbing something to eat from the kitchen and entering hyung’s room one by one.
But today in particular, the backs of the hyungs entering the room looked a bit delinquent. For no reason, I was bothered by Seongheon hyung’s school uniform pants pocket protruding in a square shape.
* * *
During the 2nd year middle school midterms, I ranked 10th in the class. Since the total class size was 20 people, it wasn’t a very good grade, but since it was always faster to count from the back, Mom was moved and immediately bought me a computer.
Now I could enjoy most of the games that could only be run at PC rooms in my own room. When an environment where I could frequently play games was established, with a happy heart I flung open Daesu hyung’s door and asked like a declaration of war.
“Let me join the Break Zone game too!”
The hyungs who came to play at our house after a while all stopped what they were doing and froze the moment they heard my words.
Gangjin hyung put a potato chip in his mouth while silently looking at Daesu hyung, and Daesu hyung looked at Seongheon hyung while sucking on the straw stuck in his drink. So I naturally stared at Seongheon hyung too.
But Seongheon hyung’s lips, on whom everyone’s attention was focused, didn’t open for a long while. With his lips slightly parted, hyung was choosing his words while rolling his tongue in his mouth. In that state, he looked back and forth between Gangjin hyung and Daesu hyung.
Then finally, after seeing my earnest expression, he completely relaxed his stiff lips and smiled.
“Okay.”
As soon as Seongheon hyung’s permission fell, Gangjin hyung pressed his hand to his forehead.
“Ah… I’m suddenly getting really tired.”
Daesu hyung also urgently put down his drink mid-sip and pointed at me.
“Hey! No way! I don’t want to kill my own brother. That kid even accidentally clicks on desktop icons and puts them in the recycle bin!”
I wanted to refute so I timidly said, “I took it right back out though…” but Seongheon hyung looked at me with anxious eyes. But as if he couldn’t take back what he’d already said, hyung lightly bit his lips and wore an awkward smile.
I knew why the hyungs were showing that reaction, but I’d been too bored lately. Kids my age all only played mobile games or learned instruments through after-school classes, so they didn’t match with me in various ways.
I wanted to properly enjoy FPS games too, but the only people I had to lean on were the hyungs. So seeing all the other hyungs asking Seongheon hyung, I desperately clung to Seongheon hyung’s arm, the real power here.
“Hyuuung. Let me join too. Hm? When we were young, you let me join a lot as kkakdugi. I’m bored, I tell you.”
“Okay, okay.”
“Hey! Let go. Seongheon-ah, because you keep accepting him, this kid has no manners.”
Daesu hyung approached and tried to detach me clinging to Seongheon hyung’s arm, and the more he did, the more desperately I clung to Seongheon hyung.
Even though my height was shorter than Seongheon hyung’s, it should be tiring when the same gender clings on, but Seongheon hyung firmly stood his ground while supporting my waist with one arm.
“He’s begging like this, let’s let him join. Gangjin-ah, you’re okay with it, right?”
Gangjin hyung let out a deep sigh seeing me cling on like a leech.
“…What can we do. How do we peel that off.”
“Why can’t we peel it off. I’ll just grab!”
Daesu hyung firmly grabbed my waistband with both hands and pulled, and I couldn’t endure anymore so I wrapped my arms around Seongheon hyung’s neck too. I hugged so tightly that our cheeks touched, and knowing I was doing that on tiptoes, Seongheon hyung bent his waist more.
But whether it was difficult because of the force of Daesu hyung pulling, Seongheon hyung also completely wrapped both arms around my lower back and protected me. Gangjin hyung just picked up potato chips and watched that scene indifferently.
“Hey! Gangjin-ah. You peel him off too!”
“Where do you gang up 2-on-1? Gangjin hyung can’t!”
“Hey! So Gangjin, you stay still!”
We must have been hugging so tightly that eventually my hyung gave up and let go of my waistband.
As my body became lighter, only then did I unwrap my arms from Seongheon hyung’s neck. As our cheeks separated, our gazes tangled at a distance close enough for our eyelashes to touch.
Seongheon hyung viewed from this angle was somehow unfamiliar, like that bitter smell I’d caught from his embrace before. Maybe it was because hyung’s eyes looking at me seemed more subdued than usual, but I felt unnecessarily tense. So I quickly pulled back my body and stood straight.
Seongheon hyung was stroking the nape where I’d been clinging with his palm while lowering his head for a moment. Hyung’s white nape had turned red from how hard I’d hugged him.
“Got it. Let’s do it by majority vote.”
Just when I was wondering how to wrap up this unfamiliar situation, Gangjin hyung made a good suggestion. I stood there blankly like someone waiting for a verdict, looking at them in turn.
“Who wants to let kkakdugi join the game?”
Seongheon hyung raised his hand first, and I raised mine after. Seeing that, as if absurd, Daesu hyung babbled.
“The person in question is excluded.”
“Okay.”
In the end, whether I could join would be determined according to Gangjin hyung’s opinion.
Gangjin hyung looked at me while sucking on one finger that had been picking up potato chips. When I put both hands together in a ‘please’ gesture, Gangjin hyung sucked on the rest of his fingers too before raising his hand weakly. At a glance, rather than raising his hand, it looked similar to the action of shooing away a fly.
“Hey! That kid doesn’t know how to play Break Zone!”
“Similar FPS games…”
I made excuses in an increasingly shrinking voice, saying I know how to play.
Daesu hyung found it annoying to do anything with me. Maybe because he grew up receiving brainwashing education with “Play with Daeyoung too” from childhood, he was always desperate to shake me off. At least the other hyungs only had older sisters and brothers, so they took care of me like their youngest sibling, which allowed me to climb up.
“Got it. Then I’ll take responsibility and take him around.”
Seongheon hyung persuaded the hyungs saying he’d take good care of me so don’t worry. Since Seongheon hyung actually took care of me the most, I felt regretful wondering how nice it would be if he were my real hyung.
“Haa… I don’t know either. Do whatever you want.”
With Daesu hyung’s final consent, I could become kkakdugi again.
* * *
The hyungs still made nicknames with keyboard keys—Enter was Seongheon hyung, Alt was Gangjin hyung, and Control was my damn hyung. Among the hyungs, my hyung was the worst, but he insisted on that nickname saying he’d become the god of control.
I was visiting Gangjin hyung’s computer room for the first time, and really like a PC room in the city had been moved as is, there were 4 computers lined up along one wall, and snacks were displayed on a nearby shelf.
Before sitting down, I approached in front of the shelf as if possessed.
“Can I eat this?”
When I timidly pointed at a sausage in a container and asked, Seongheon hyung who was following behind picked up the entire container and held it out to me.
“You can eat it all.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, really.”
I hugged the sausage container and pondered where to sit, but they all looked the same so I sat at the window-side seat. Then Daesu hyung who entered after kicked the chair near the door with his foot and called me.
“Hey! Sit here. That’s Gangjin’s seat.”
Since I had to filter Daesu hyung’s words once, I looked at Seongheon hyung.
But whether there really were assigned seats, he scolded me to sit in the seat closest to the door. Looking carefully, the seat I was about to sit in had a cute mouse pad laid out unlike the other places.
“Then where’s Seongheon hyung’s seat?”
“Next to you.”
Either way, it’s next to Seongheon hyung’s seat, so I obediently sat by the door. Gangjin hyung who entered last sat at the window side where I was about to sit, and we started the game.
Whether Gangjin hyung had auto-login because it was his house, he accessed the game first among us and went to the shelf behind to choose snacks while waiting for us.
“Bae Daeyoung. Even your login is slow.”
Daesu hyung who was being triumphant must have logged in like me too, but he’d already launched the game and was waiting. Seongheon hyung had also already logged in while I was logging in and handed me a sausage with the wrapper peeled off.
“Should I give you a drink too?”
“Yeah, I want a carbonated drink.”
Seongheon hyung got up from his seat and opened the refrigerator shaped like a box next to the shelf to get a drink. He even personally opened the can tab and placed it at my seat, taking care of everything.
I took a bite of the sausage, accessed my email, clicked login account verification, and only then could I see the game start screen. I tried not to do 2-step verification because this process was annoying, but after my account got hacked when playing another game, I’d been doing it even though it was annoying.
