Prologue
The hyungs look down on me too much.
“Bae Daeyoung, you fucking suck at games!”
“Watch the replay and write a reflection essay.”
Wanting revenge on them, I raided the hideout in the game that the hyungs play and put the stolen items up on the auction house. Then, among the hyungs, Enter (Seongheon) hyung—who treats me the best and is the most sweet and caring—sent me a whisper.
[Whisper] Enter: You fucking petty thief bastard
[Whisper] Keyboard Cleaning: I’m better than your shitty personality for cursing
[Whisper] Enter: I’m really going to punish you, you know?
[Whisper] Keyboard Cleaning: Try it? Try it? Try it?
My hands on the keyboard trembled.
It felt like the hyungs would barge into my room at any moment.
Kkakdugi Controller
Episode 1
I’m just a little bad at games, I’m not a troller. And I wasn’t this twisted from the beginning.
This place is a countryside where addresses are marked with eup, myeon, and ri, and we ended up moving to Father’s hometown because our parents suddenly declared they’d take up farming.
My hyung and I resisted in our own way, but the persuasion of mere 8 and 11-year-olds couldn’t break Father’s stubbornness. Daesu hyung reproached me saying, “If only you hadn’t just steamed potatoes in the kimchi container!” but it was already in the past, so what could be done?
In the end, our family began country life, and not long after, we had the opportunity to meet hyungs who were the sons of Father’s friend.
That day too, Daesu hyung tried to leave me alone and go out but got caught by Mom.
“Daesu! You have to take Daeyoung to play too!”
“Ah, how annoying!”
“I said take your brother with you! If you don’t play with him, no allowance!”
In the lonely country life, the only person I had to play with was Daesu hyung, but hyung was busy playing with Dad’s friend’s sons. They were all the same age so they became close quickly, whereas I had only seen those hyungs from afar during a village festival.
Daesu hyung grumbled as he reluctantly took me along.
“If you’re annoying, I’m sending you back home.”
“Okay. Got it, hyung.”
I answered as clearly as possible, grabbed my dragonfly net, and followed hyung.
Because of the sweltering summer weather, beads of sweat formed on my forehead. As if cicadas were attached to every tree, their cries rang out loudly from every street tree along the path.
The place Daesu hyung took me to was an empty lot behind the elementary school. There, I greeted Gangjin hyung and Seongheon hyung for the first time.
“Guys, this is my younger brother Daeyoung.”
“Hello, hyung…”
I couldn’t step forward readily and stood behind Daesu hyung’s back, sticking out only half my body to look at the hyungs. Maybe because it was behind the elementary school and shaded, my first impression of the hyungs wasn’t particularly good.
“Yeah?”
Gangjin hyung caught the tennis ball that bounced off the building wall with his glove and answered without much response, then just kept bouncing the ball against the wall again. He seemed to enjoy outdoor activities, and like other country kids, he had moderately tanned skin.
And Seongheon hyung, who was nearby, sat on some box breaking off twigs with his hands snap snap while staring at me. Even though he didn’t have double eyelids, his eyes were quite large and the ends were slightly raised, so his gaze looking at me felt sharp.
Moreover, since Seongheon hyung kept breaking twigs while making eye contact with me, I got scared thinking, ‘What if that hyung breaks my fingers like that too?’
So I stuck closer to Daesu hyung’s back, but hyung found it annoying and quickly separated from me, approaching them.
Daesu hyung immediately went up to Gangjin hyung, put on the other glove, and they tossed the ball back and forth, while during that time I was wrapped up in worrying whether I should just go home like this, with the dragonfly net on my shoulder.
‘The hyungs probably don’t want to play with me…’
Just when I was hugging my timid heart and turning my body to go back home.
“Your name is Daeyoung?”
“Huh?”
Dusting off his hands that had been breaking twigs snap snap just moments ago, Seongheon hyung approached.
Hyung looked a bit thuggish with his hands stuck in his pockets, but he was the only person here smiling at me. I was concerned that his eye shape was a bit scary, but among the hyungs here, he was the most handsome like a manga protagonist.
“You’re just going to leave?”
“It seems like the hyungs don’t really want to play with me.”
“No. I was bored too. Come here.”
Seongheon hyung kindly pulled my hand. While I was being pulled by Seongheon hyung, my hyung was only interested in the bouncing tennis ball and didn’t care about me at all. Gangjin hyung next to him was the same.
So just when I was about to shrink even more, Seongheon hyung asked me in a voice bright enough to fill the void of those two hyungs.
“Daeyoung-ah. Should we catch cicadas with the dragonfly net?”
“…Huh? Yeah!!”
“Good. Let’s catch ten today.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, really.”
“Hyung, then promise.”
I habitually extended my pinky finger, but Seongheon hyung only looked down at my hand without taking it. So thinking maybe ten was too much, I was about to withdraw my hand when finally hyung’s pinky finger intertwined with mine.
“Yeah, promise.”
Seongheon hyung, who had been expressionless for a moment, then smiled along while looking down at my excited self.
The eye shape that had seemed only fierce melted like cotton candy and folded gently. So from our first meeting, I came to follow Seongheon hyung well. He was the most sweet and caring among the hyungs and treated me the best.
But even that Seongheon hyung had a bit of a twist.
That day, he said we’d just catch cicadas but hyung secretly put a praying mantis in the collection container, so I couldn’t take out the other insects and had to cry while opening the lid and releasing them all. But coincidentally, while all the other insects flew away, only the praying mantis wouldn’t come out until the end, so I had to leave the collection container open in the yard for several days.
That’s when I realized.
That there’s no hyung in this world you can trust.
The elementary school the hyungs and I attended was located at the foot of Sojangsan Mountain, and seeing the single-story building and small playground that wasn’t even half of half the size of the elementary school I attended in the city, I felt disillusioned, thinking, ‘Ah, I’m really going to have a boring childhood.’
Moreover, there was only one class per grade, but hyung’s 4th grade was blessed—there were 2 classes, so there were many boys. So the playground was always taken by the 4th graders.
My role there was ‘kkakdugi.’ Because the 4th grade hyungs were 19—an odd number—I could mix in with them to fill the headcount when playing ball games.
“Daesu’s younger brother is kkakdugi.”
“Right. Make him goalkeeper.”
Because I was slow at running, I only played goalkeeper when playing soccer, and when playing dodgeball, I didn’t have to leave even if I got hit by the ball or stepped on the line. Like that, receiving the benefits of being kkakdugi, I could stand shoulder to shoulder with the hyungs who were 3 years older.
Of course, there were boys in the 1st grade class too, but including me there were only 7, and my level was already adjusted to the 4th graders, so when I played with kids my own age, the level somehow didn’t match. So I liked and enjoyed hanging out with the hyungs.
“Seongheon, block it!”
It was when we were playing soccer betting ice cream right before summer vacation. Seongheon hyung, who sprinted at full speed from the end of the playground, brought the ball all the way to the goal I was guarding.
The sight of Seongheon hyung kicking the ball was really like a protagonist in a manga, so as hyung got closer and closer to the goal, my body stiffened, overwhelmed by that momentum. Moreover, since Seongheon hyung was the only one among us wearing soccer cleats, his shots were also the strongest, so honestly I had given up on blocking.
But then, Seongheon hyung pointed to the right with his finger, giving me a hint.
“Here! I’m shooting!”
If it were Gangjin hyung I wouldn’t have believed it, but if it was Seongheon hyung, I believed he’d really kick it to the right. Stomping my feet to stop the ball, hyung pulled his leg back slightly to shoot.
‘Right, right!!’
Just when hyung was about to kick the ball with his instep, I quickly threw my body to the right. But seeing my action, Seongheon hyung instantly switched feet and kicked the ball to the left.
“Go~~~al~~~in!!!”
“Waaaah!!!”
Since I was kkakdugi anyway, our team showed no signs of disappointment, as if they hadn’t expected me to block it. However, my hyung and Gangjin hyung glared at me with flounder eyes and violently waved their hands, mouthing ‘Don’t trust that guy!’
Wow… he was mean. Even if he just shot normally I couldn’t block it, but to deceive me on top of that.
I resolved never to be fooled by Seongheon hyung again and tried to block the ball again. But this time too, didn’t hyung point to the left with his finger? So this time I threw my body to the right, the opposite.
Clang─!
Then this time he really shot to the left.
As I stared blankly at the soccer ball rolling out of the goal, Seongheon hyung approached and stroked my sweaty hair, teasing, “That’s too bad.”
“I won’t trust hyung anymore!”
“Sorry, I won’t trick you anymore.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, really.”
The sunlight was beating down, the dirt ground was hot, and it was boring to keep standing. My concentration gradually decreased.
Since it would end after 3 goals, everyone was excited saying it was the last goal, let’s do just this and hurry up and buy ice cream. Right, let’s trust hyung just one more time, I thought, and carefully watched the timing of Seongheon hyung bringing the ball.
Once again, Seongheon hyung, who received a long pass with his chest, dodged 3 people and quickly ran toward me. Thump thump, my heart pounded harder each time hyung ran toward me raising dust.
I noticed hyung’s legs, which were unusually long for his age, and thought I just needed to watch his foot position, staring intently. Let’s block just one goal. Even though I’m kkakdugi, I wanted to show that I’m someone who can do it when I try.
I lowered my stance and focused on hyung’s feet. There’s no need to look at his finger pointing. That’s definitely a trick, I thought, staring only at his feet, when didn’t hyung point to the right with his hand again?
‘I won’t be fooled.’
Focus, focus, focus!
‘…Huh?’
But was he really going to shoot to the right—hyung’s instep was about to touch the soccer ball.
Ah, as expected, Seongheon hyung didn’t abandon me!
So I quickly stretched my body out long to the right. Because I stretched so far, my head bumped into the soccer goal post with a thunk.
“Aah!”
Whoosh─!
“Goal!!!”
This time too, Seongheon hyung tricked me and shot to the left, shaking the goal net.
Notes:
Eup, myeon, ri (읍, 면, 리) – administrative divisions used in Korean rural addresses
