Fortunately, Benedict didn’t seem to have issued an order to execute me. I was safely alive until dinnertime.
When night came, Benedict came to find me. With hair that wasn’t fully dry as if he’d just bathed, he led me.
“The bell tower?”
For the first time, I left the room together with Benedict.
Right outside the door were stairs leading up the tower. However, I had rarely ventured anywhere other than the room I was currently staying in and the study in the same corridor. When I had once gone further down the hallway, I felt the already few servants’ attitudes become busier.
No one told me to stay only in my room, nor did they give me looks about coming out, but that made me more cautiously stay only in my room. It was certain that a typical summer salon wasn’t taking place at Shade Palace.
At the top of the tower we arrived at, there really was a large, old bell. The night air was cool and a light breeze blew.
And I faced a cluster of stars that seemed about to pour down.
Above the dark green forest clouds, thousands of diamond-like stars were twinkling brightly. They sparkled so much it seemed I could touch them if I reached out. I was speechless at the feeling that stardust would touch my fingertips and crumble.
“Right now I’ve had all the lights turned off.”
Benedict’s voice was heard.
“The stars are beautiful, but the traces of the ancient castle revealed when all the lights are raised are also worth seeing.”
I barely tore my gaze away and looked back at Benedict.
He was looking at me with his back to the forest. The wind blowing while holding the forest sounds disheveled his wet hair. It seemed like starlight had settled on his smooth cheeks.
I barely opened my mouth.
“It’s truly beautiful even now.”
Benedict, who had been quietly watching me, turned his back. Then he leaned his arms on the bell tower and looked in the same direction as me. After hesitating, I went to his side and likewise leaned my elbows on the bell tower.
My heart fluttered again as if I were on a boat.
The gap of one arm’s width between us seemed to be filled with night air and awkwardness. Benedict seemed calm, but I alone was like this.
That feeling was uncomfortable and I wanted to escape from it, yet I wanted to endure it. I was looking at the stars, but idle clouds kept floating above my head.
“Do you happen to know someone like this?”
I want to talk to him.
“Someone whose hair is tied up tightly like this, and who always has a smiling face—”
I brought up whatever topic came to mind. I had been curious about the ash tree piano lady who had spoken warmly to me.
Sometimes I looked through the people at the ballroom wondering if I could see the lady, but as older ladies typically do, perhaps she didn’t participate in balls—I hadn’t seen her since that event. Or maybe I just didn’t see her because I was stuck in a corner.
Benedict’s face became peculiar after hearing my description of the grand lady.
I was quite surprised to hear his answer.
“Fire mages are rare to begin with. Originally she had long since retired and was quite advanced in age even then, but she unavoidably became my teacher.”
The grand lady was first of all Marchioness Anis.
She was indeed a marchioness. And that noble lady was one of Prince Benedict’s magic teachers. He said it was unavoidable because she was the strongest among the living fire mages.
“Ah, Mikhail hyung was disappointed then! He said Your Highness performed a magic demonstration, but we arrived late and couldn’t see it,”
Prince Benedict occasionally showcased magic at special charity events or large events like hunting festivals.
Suddenly interested in magic, I asked various questions. Even to questions that branched out randomly in various directions, he faithfully answered. Thanks to that, I learned about the mana attributes each person is born with, the domains and combinations of mana forms, and even the conditions for being recognized as a high-ranking mage.
“Then does that mean Your Highness can use magic from all domains?”
Benedict was a high-ranking mage. Though it was a question similar to asking who was the strongest—something only a child would ask—he paused briefly and answered seriously.
“If I have enough mana.”
He was already evaluated as being born with the most powerful mana among all past imperial family members.
Besides that, Benedict also checked whether I had mana. As determined when I was young, I had no aptitude. I thought maybe I’d gained some special mana since I returned to the past, but that wasn’t the case either.
Erasing my disappointment, I turned the direction back to the original story.
“My teacher is mentioned in the Magic Academy and also in the Empire’s social circles as something like a radical debater, a strict preacher. Even when guiding me, she was quite stern—”
Benedict slightly furrowed his brows as if abbreviating the rhetoric. A debater and preacher—thinking of the lady’s gentle smile yet upright posture, it seemed that could be true.
“Still, she’s a very respectable person.”
“I think so too.”
I answered sincerely.
We returned to the room together again.
For the reason that the wind and scenery had disappeared, the mood was about to become awkward again. Before that could happen, as soon as the door closed, Benedict pulled me in. My lips were bitten just like that.
“Actually, I’ve been holding back too much since yesterday.”
He pulled away from the wet lips and kissed me again. Since I still didn’t feel my body had recovered, even while receiving kisses that made my ears burn, I kept saying words of refusal.
“Because you said you didn’t want to unless it’s the bedroom.”
“……”
“Then, is it okay if I just don’t touch the places that hurt?”
I feel like I’m dying—he said that with such a very calm complexion. I couldn’t answer with anything. I just hung my head low.
As if making a decision, he led me to the bed.
“Cooperate.”
Benedict carefully unbuttoned my shirt.
Even while undressing me, he kept touching my body. He stroked my nape and chest and took off my underwear and pants at once. The touch that stroked between my legs gripped my ankle, then came back up to my chest.
That place wasn’t particularly emphasized, yet sometimes it seemed to draw his interest. It still stung and hurt whenever fabric rubbed against it. When I pushed away anxiously, Benedict lowered his long eyelashes. Like the averted gaze, he didn’t touch there again.
Benedict made me raise my bare knees and spread them toward him. When I pulled my body back in surprise, he said matter-of-factly.
“I’m only going to look.”
“……”
“Since I can’t do anything… —Cooperate. I’ll only look.”
The problem really was with me.
When I faced him, I ultimately wanted to accept him and could only easily give in with a deferring attitude. Each time like this, as always, I was afraid but hesitantly opened my legs a little.
“I can’t see well.”
He narrowed the distance at once.
I hesitated and pushed away defensively. My flustered breath and his breath intertwined.
Benedict, who was gripping my knees, slowly raised his gaze to meet mine. Though I’d never felt it was a warm color, when our gazes met for a long time, it felt like its original color. He slowly applied strength to his hands.
Eventually I obediently sat with my legs spread. Looking down at the intimate place, he sighed a little. His hand reached out. His firm fingertip lightly touched my genitals, came down below, and carefully rubbed the still-unrecovered delicate place.
“Ung… hng,”
When I thought he would do it today after all with the touch that wouldn’t leave—
Benedict slowly removed his hand.
“Stay like that.”
It was a low voice. So low it felt like a beast growling.
He unbuckled his pants and put his hand in.
Soon I felt my ears turn bright red and heat up.
Really, Benedict was pleasuring himself.
“……”
Moving both hands with a cool face, he looked at me. My disheveled hair, my trembling eyes, my lips, and…….
I felt like I couldn’t even breathe properly. Even breathing became conscious. At the persistence of not taking his eyes away, even my face was now burning.
Benedict’s cool face gradually began to flush.
Eyes drowsily opened as if containing a lamp slowly blinked. Like someone blocked somewhere, I couldn’t say anything. Then the moment Benedict took his thing out, I was so surprised I turned my head away.
Since I only saw it when it was always inside me or when I wasn’t in my right mind, I was flustered to face it so clearly like this.
What I saw in passing was very large and completely aroused.
“Look here.”
“……”
“If you’re like that, I feel like I’m doing something I shouldn’t.”
He muttered in a voice mixed with breathing sounds.
Reluctantly, I only turned my head forward while flushed red. My trembling gaze was placed somewhere far away. Steep breathing sounds continued. I glanced at Benedict.
Eyes lowered and fiercely concentrated, boyish cheeks slightly flushed, parted lips and the low sounds flowing between them made the air hot. As if infected by the heat, my body slowly heated up.
He raised his gaze, and our eyes met.
“……”
I quickly covered myself with the sheet and laid face down.
‘You… leaving me like this.’ Behind my curled-up back, Benedict muttered helplessly, but it couldn’t be helped.
I gripped the sheet hard. Everything I had just seen vividly came back to life before my eyes. Unable to endure any longer, I squeezed my eyes shut.
