“You’re up early?”
“…Ah, hyung.”
When I turned around, I saw my older brother drenched in sweat. He must have been working out. He was wearing shorts and a short-sleeved shirt. His thighs were packed solid with muscle. So much so that the fabric of his shorts was stretched taut. In the other world, my older brother only studied all the time and had no muscles, but this hyung has an amazing body. Is that why his personality is good too?
“Did you make coffee?”
“Yeah. Want some?”
“Sure. When did you grow up enough to drink coffee? Cute kid.”
My older brother, who came into the kitchen, habitually patted my head and took out water from the fridge and chugged it. I touched my patted head for no reason. He was so kind and affectionate. It was awkward. My original older brother, who had such a large age gap that we could be mistaken for uncle and nephew, had never once been kind to me. But this hyung treated me as if his much younger brother was still childlike and cute.
“…Hyung.”
“Yeah?”
“Um, you know. You’re a psychiatrist…”
My older brother in the other world was a surgeon, but this hyung was a psychiatrist. My older brother pulled up his T-shirt to wipe the sweat from his face. The abdomen briefly revealed was divided with muscles and looked solid. …He only has the same face as my original older brother, but everything else is really different.
“Yeah, do you have something to ask?”
“Well…”
I avoided the gaze of my older brother, who was sitting on a stool next to the kitchen island, and opened and closed my mouth. Is it okay to ask? He’s my older brother… But he’s a different hyung. Just the same face, but completely different…
“…Do patients like that come to your hospital too, hyung? You know, homosexuals who want to become heterosexual or something like that…”
“You mean conversion therapy?”
“…Yeah.”
My older brother’s face became slightly serious, which scared me right away. He went “Mmm…” and drew out his voice while wiping the sweat from his face. He seemed to be choosing his words.
“…Are you coming out right now?”
“No!”
I shouted in shock. It was early in the morning—I made a mistake. Will I wake up Mom and Dad? My older brother, who got up from his seat, approached and placed his hand on my shoulder. And in his characteristic reliable tone, he spoke quietly.
“First of all, know that whatever your sexual orientation is, Mom, Dad, and I don’t care at all. Really.”
It was a voice that anyone could hear was full of sincerity. Those words—that they don’t care what you are—I’d never heard even once. My heart lurched.
“Ever since you started painting your nails with polish, Mom and Dad have been prepared for everything. I barely stopped them from checking out a parents of homosexuals meeting, really.”
“…”
My older brother giggled. I didn’t laugh. What is this… Is this open-minded or closed-minded? Thinking I’m gay just because I painted my nails a bit. But then they were trying to join a parents of homosexuals meeting. They really were people you could never figure out.
“If it’s not a coming out, that’s a relief. Ah, by ‘relief’ I don’t mean I’m relieved you’re not gay… I mean I don’t want to hear such an important story from my little brother in this state.”
“Yeah…”
My older brother, who got up from his seat, patted my head. He looks exactly like my real older brother… But being this affectionate is awkward, yet… it was also nice. That face smiling kindly was truly unfamiliar. Nevertheless, as if it was an expression he made often, he looked very comfortable. My eyelids grew hot, so I lowered my head slightly.
“But if it’s not a coming out, why are you asking about that?”
“…I was wondering if it changes in some cases.”
“I don’t know every case, and I’m not part of the queer community, so I’m not sure… But I’ve heard that it can be fluid.”
“Fluid?”
“Yeah. Like someone who lived their whole life thinking they were heterosexual turns out to be bi, or something like that?”
“Then can an asexual person become heterosexual?”
“Well, there might be cases like that, right? I’m not an expert in that area. Especially during adolescence, there are many concerns and many changes. Right?”
My older brother shrugged. Judging by how he specifically mentioned adolescence, he thinks it’s my case but is pretending not to know. He’s a truly kind and smart hyung, but this time he’s wrong.
Anyway, putting together what my psychiatrist older brother said, there was a glimmer of hope. Moreover, Dave was still young and in adolescence, so even more so.
That’s right, David Evans, I’ll make you 100% heterosexual…! …That sounds weird? Everyone’s sexual orientation is really, really! precious! And deserves respect! …But Dave, not you. I’m sorry.
* * *
↑
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🙁
The system seemed to have great dissatisfaction with having become a convenient navigation tool. However, I was too busy with this and that to care about such things.
“Over here!”
Dave waved his hand from far away. Before going to the party together, we agreed to meet at a nearby restaurant to grab some food. It was a ‘diner,’ the kind that commonly appears in American dramas, a place that sells fast food. You know, cheap restaurants with soft chairs that stay open late into the night, where characters keep refilling and drinking bad coffee.
“How did you get here?”
“Just took a taxi.”
“I should have picked you up.”
Unlike usual when he wore his football team jacket, Dave, wearing a comfortable denim jacket, grinned. Just then, the wind blew and tousled his hair. He looked like a youth star from an old high school movie. …Of course, he would be similar. David Evans is the protagonist of a high school drama, after all.
I ate bad coffee, french fries, and hamburgers with Dave. Then we got in Dave’s car and headed to the location where the party was being held. Dave’s friend’s house was located in a neighborhood where clearly wealthy people lived. The lights flickering bright and dim in the distance made it obvious a party was happening.
We parked the car a bit away and entered the house. Whether he contacted them in advance or not, a guy who appeared to be the party host approached Dave with a smiling face.
“Dave!”
“Archie!”
The two hugged and greeted each other like anyone could see they were close friends. I frowned because the colored lights illuminating the dim space were too chaotic. But for a moment, I thought I saw someone with long brown curly hair through the darkness. I must have seen wrong. Why would Natalia Newton be here?
Today’s party wasn’t much different from Harper’s party. Thump, thump, thump! Noisy songs,
“Wahahaha!”
An overflowing crowd and rowdy kids.
It was dizzying and chaotic.
“Dave?”
I looked for Dave, the only person I knew. But the kid who said he’d just chat with a friend he hadn’t seen in a while for a bit had been gone for over ten minutes.
Just standing still, kids dancing kept bumping into me—tap, tap—so I went and sat on a sofa in a corner of the living room. On the table were cans of long carbonated drinks placed abundantly. This must be instead of beer too. It really was a strange world.
It was cola but came in several flavors, so I chose a regular cola, excluding the cherry flavor, and opened the can. Being at room temperature, the slightly lukewarm drink gave a familiar taste and sensation. Yet the uneasy feeling didn’t become comfortable. Thump! Thump! Thump! Was it because of the music that shook the entire house?
“Dave?”
There were so many people that even the tall Dave wasn’t easily visible. A kid with a head taller than others passed by, so I quickly grabbed him, but it was a stranger.
“Sorry.”
I don’t know if the other person heard my apology. It was so loud.
“…”
There’s not a single kid I know. Is this really a party thrown by a kid from our school? All unfamiliar faces. It was also annoying when people tapped my knees—tap, tap—as they passed, and my ears were completely muffled, so I got up from my seat.
I should either find Dave or go somewhere quieter. He said we’d talk today, but I have no idea where Dave went. He spoke quite seriously too. I even asked my psychiatrist older brother and stayed up all night thinking about what to say…
“Dave, David Evans!”
I went outside and pushed through the crowd. The place with the swimming pool was full of kids either pressed together kissing or splashing in the water. Most were kids who jumped in just wearing underwear without swimsuits. How are they all planning to go home like that? They’re all sixteen, seventeen years old.
“The world is going to hell, to hell…”
Tsk, the sound of clicking my tongue came out naturally. Anyway, American kids need to show some restraint. Even in a world where underage drinking isn’t allowed, they’re like this.
“David Evans!”
Even shouting loudly, there was no answer. I asked the system too, but only got the answer [Bluedale]. Who doesn’t know that? Some kid I didn’t know suddenly hugged me.
“You’re handsome! Wanna hang out with me? You’re Tyler’s friend, right? Then are you from our school?”
“Ugh!”
Though she was a small girl, she was heavy when she clung to me. Whether she’d been in the pool or not, her whole front was soaking wet. There’s not even alcohol here, so I don’t know why she’s swaying like that. Sugar high, maybe. The girl grabbed my face.
“Chinese? Korean? Japanese?”
“…Korean, July Baek.”
In the midst of it all, I smiled awkwardly, determined to complete the quest. The girl burst out laughing—puhahaha!—then patted my shoulder—pang, pang.
“Hi, July! I’m Jessica Lights. Lights! Jessica!”
The girl, Jessica, shouted excitedly. But the quest number didn’t go up. She must be a student from another school, not Bluedale High School. Or maybe not a high school student at all.
“Right, right. Jessica Lights. Let’s sit here and rest. And do you know David Evans by any chance? Did you see him?”
I sat Jessica on a white sun bed and asked just in case. Jessica nodded her head.
