We went to a cafe to kill time, and by the time we met Junsu and Woojin, it was already evening. As soon as Woojin and Junsu saw my face, they handed me gifts, and both were teddy bears. They said that even though they agonized over it, this was all they could come up with in the end. I burst out laughing. Junsu said his noona had packed it for him and handed me another gift, which was a large bag full of snacks. I was extremely happy because it seemed perfect to share with the younger kids. I asked him to definitely tell his noona thank you.
As soon as we arrived at the restaurant where we were going to eat dinner, Eorin-i said he’d step out to make a phone call, then suddenly came back carrying a cake. If it were with the younger kids it would be one thing, but having grown kids stick candles in a cake and blow them out felt a bit embarrassing, so I tried to decline, but Junsu smiled meaningfully and pulled out a neatly folded party hat from his pocket. Seeing the cake and party hat, the employees must have caught on because they came over to sing a birthday song too, so I waved my hands saying please, that’s enough.
In the end, I couldn’t resist the kids’ insistence and wore the hat and blew out the candles. My face must have turned bright red. After even singing the birthday song and waiting for me to blow out the candles, the kids clapped with beaming smiles, and the couple at the next table clapped along too. I felt so embarrassed I could die. The shameless Junsu thanked them and even winked at the hyung and noona at the next table.
After eating dinner and finishing off the cake completely, we left the restaurant, chatted a bit more, then parted ways. It was because there was a curfew at the orphanage. Now that I was a high schooler, I didn’t have a set bedtime like the younger kids, but I had to keep the curfew.
Before parting, Eorin-i handed me a shopping bag containing a large box, telling me to open it when I got to the orphanage. I waddled back to the orphanage hugging two teddy bears, a pile of snacks, and the shopping bag. I felt embarrassed feeling people’s stares on the way home, but I felt good.
After arriving at the orphanage and distributing the snacks to the younger kids, the first thing I did when I returned to my room was open Eorin-i’s gift. As soon as I opened the box inside the shopping bag, I had to hold back my laughter. Inside the box was a teddy bear, and underneath it was packed full of gummy bears. I lined up all three teddy bears in a row and took a picture to post in the chat room. Junsu and Woojin laughed saying so Kim Eorin got a teddy bear too in the end. Was telling me to open it at home because he was embarrassed?
Soon after, the photos taken today were uploaded to the chat room in a flood. Since Junsu liked taking pictures, there were quite a lot. I chose one I liked from among them and made it my profile picture. It was a photo of the four of us sitting at the restaurant table with the cake placed on it, smiling. It was the happiest birthday of my life. Even while writing in my diary, I grinned looking at the teddy bears lined up in a row. Imagining what faces the kids must have made when buying those dolls made me feel like I’d die from laughing. I fell asleep with the corners of my mouth raised.
A few days passed, and I was getting used to the school at night. The kids complained it was boring, but I quite liked that quiet school atmosphere. Night study session time was enjoyable.
Class 5 wasn’t a class diligent about studying. They weren’t kids who disrupted class or caused a ruckus during lessons, and rather they followed the teachers well, so the teachers seemed to quite like our class, but that didn’t mean we were good at studying at all. I could tell even though I’d only been to night self-study sessions for a few days. The seventeen-year-old boys who had only been in high school for a month were dying to play. As the sound of the night study supervisor teacher’s footsteps in the hallway faded away, the kids immediately grinned and started sharing earbuds with the kid sitting next to them or exchanging written notes. They wanted to chat, but if there was a friend studying, they didn’t want to be disruptive, so the sight of them scribbling their voices onto notebooks was cute. I smiled slightly and lowered my gaze to my workbook.
[Why are you smiling]
A hand slipped in from the side and wrote those words in my workbook. The owner of the hand was Eorin-i. Next to those words, Eorin-i even drew an expression glancing at me repeatedly. I learned during art class that Eorin-i was incredibly bad at drawing. I barely held back my laughter looking at the wrinkly face doodle.
[Just because]
[I’m hungry]
Only two hours had passed since we ate dinner. No one could match Woojin in the amount he ate, but Eorin-i wasn’t on the small side either. I shook my head.
[You ate earlier but you’re hungry again?]
[Yeah]
[Should we go to the school store during break?]
[Yeah!]
There probably wasn’t a correlation between drawing skills and handwriting, but Eorin-i was also a bit bad at writing. The exclamation mark next to the crooked circle was funny and cute, so I couldn’t help but smile brightly. Looking at the clock, it was almost break time.
The bell rang, and in an instant the whole school became noisy. Eorin-i brought up going to the school store to Woojin and Junsu sitting in the seats behind. When he suggested going to the school store, neither Woojin nor Junsu had ever once said they weren’t hungry so they wouldn’t go. This time was the same. Watching the two excitedly grab their wallets at the mention of the school store, I got up from my seat.
“I’ll go to the bathroom before going to the school store.”
“Okay. Come quickly.”
Break time was 20 minutes. I went out to the hallway and headed to the bathroom.
Our school had up to 10 classes per grade, with classes 1-5 on the east line and classes 6-10 on the west line. For convenience, teachers called classes 1-5 the front classes and classes 6-10 the back classes, and the kids did the same. Between the front class line and back class line was a long hallway, and in that hallway were transfer classrooms, the central entrance, a vine shelter, and a back courtyard entrance leading to the school store. Since there was rarely any reason to pass through this long hallway to get to other classes, the front and back classes didn’t interact much. It might be a difference in familiarity, but the atmosphere in the front class and back class hallways seemed slightly different too.
The reason I set foot in the back class hallway was because of the bathroom. Today of all days, the bathroom in the front class hallway was packed full of people. Normally I would have waited, but remembering Woojin telling me to come quickly, as soon as I saw the line at the bathroom, I messaged saying I was going to the back class bathroom and immediately headed to the back class hallway. After entering a bathroom stall and doing my business, I was about to flush and come out when I suddenly heard voices outside.
“Kim Eorin’s been quiet lately. I thought the teachers would dote on Kim Eorin like in middle school, but that’s not it either.”
“Right, he’s quiet.”
“He entered as valedictorian again this time, right? Isn’t that kind of suspicious? He’s the chairman’s grandson.”
“It’s obvious. Isn’t that why he came to this school?”
“Fucking annoying.”
“He still hangs out with a Beta, right? Loves pretending to be nice.”
I never expected to overhear gossip about Eorin-i. I froze standing in that spot. The kids must be waiting.
“These days, what was it. I heard he caught himself a minion.”
“Ah. Kindergarten or something, that kid?”
“It’s probably another Alpha anyway, right?”
“He’s too amazing so maybe he doesn’t like playing with Alphas like himself.”
The two giggled. I held my breath, unable to bring myself to go outside. But then a voice I’d heard somewhere before chimed in from the side.
“Kindergarten?”
“Ah, you don’t know? That one, you know, the kid who lives at Haebam Orphanage.”
“Isn’t that a kid his family pays to raise? Took him in out of pity.”
“There needs to be a somewhat lacking kid next to him so he looks good. Plus he can feel superior watching a pitiful bastard. That’s it.”
“Anyway, Alpha bastards who hang out with Betas are all the same.”
I forgot how to breathe. My knees were trembling and I couldn’t stand, so I leaned my shoulder against the partition wall. I didn’t have time to think about why the faintly familiar voice was familiar. From somewhere, a chilling scent wafted over.
“That kid, what. Beta?”
“I heard Beta.”
“…Really?”
The familiar voice spoke as if mulling it over.
“Interesting.”
“What, that he’s a Beta? It’s not the first or second time Kim Eorin’s played with a Beta.”
“Anyway, being born with a silver spoon in his mouth…”
“…”
“…Ah, sorry.”
Suddenly the chilling scent became stronger and a peppermint fragrance burst through. It was a pheromone that unmistakably revealed displeasure. An apology followed in a small voice, and I clenched my hands tightly.
“Let’s go.”
“Uh, yeah. Jaeui-ya.”
Jaeui-ya.
That was Kim Jaeui.
Even after several minutes passed after that, I couldn’t leave the bathroom. Only when other kids came into the bathroom and Junsu looked for me on messenger did I open the door. My fingers trembled as I washed my hands. Looking at the bathroom mirror made me feel like old memories would surface, so I hurriedly rushed out of the bathroom and ran down the hallway.
“Ah, you’re here.”
Woojin waved his hand.
“Sorry. The bathroom was packed…”
I lied. I couldn’t breathe properly, so I pretended to be out of breath from running to hide it. Walking behind Woojin and Junsu as they headed out to the back courtyard entrance, I tried not to ruminate on the conversation I’d overheard earlier. But from behind, Eorin-i grabbed my shoulder. I was so startled I almost screamed. I kept hearing auditory hallucinations. Laughter.
“…Chiwon-ah?”
“…”
Instead of opening my mouth, I clamped my jaw tightly shut.
“You…”
Even when he spoke to me, since I wouldn’t look at him, Eorin-i trailed off. He seemed to tilt his head toward me, but I was overwhelmed just keeping myself from flinching at the shoulder Eorin-i held, with no time to hide my expression. After staying still for a moment at my stubborn avoidance, Eorin-i soon moved on as if it were nothing.
Throughout the entire night study session, I couldn’t concentrate on my workbook. I sat there blankly holding my mechanical pencil, and whenever the words I’d heard in the bathroom came to mind, my throat choked up moment by moment.
‘Isn’t that a kid his family pays to raise? Took him in out of pity.’
‘Feeling superior watching a pitiful kid.’
Like that, it couldn’t… hurt. All I could do was try my best not to think about it, and hold back my tears.
After enduring like that the whole time, as soon as the bell rang signaling the end of night study session, I hurriedly said goodbye to the kids and rushed out of school. I wanted to quickly get to my room. The only place where there was no one and I could be alone, where I didn’t have to worry about others’ eyes.
The orphanage was behind the school, so I exited the school gate and turned to the side. It was right next door but with one block between us, I had to cross one crosswalk. As I stood at that corner, suddenly a peppermint scent wafted from behind. I thought once again that I was mistaken.
