That evening, Ruslan, who’d been habitually in the archives room, jumped up in surprise when Baigarten came looking for him. After roughly accepting his stammering greeting, Baigarten asked with a slightly tense expression.
“Did Sarka eat?”
Ruslan fumbled and answered that he wasn’t sure. When he answered that he’d tried to clear away lunch since Sarka hadn’t eaten it, but it seemed he didn’t like that so he’d just left it and come out, Baigarten made a very serious expression, frowned, and began pondering something.
Baigarten, who’d been anxiously scratching the back of his neck, glanced at Ruslan then asked as if to confirm.
“So you at least stopped him from clearing it away, is that what you’re saying?”
Ruslan quickly nodded. Baigarten fell into deep thought, fiddling with his chin, then gave a small cough. Baigarten looked at Ruslan with an assessing gaze, then said slowly.
“……I’m going to Sarka’s, want to come with me?”
Ruslan’s eyes widened and he stood up without even asking again.
Baigarten pulled Ruslan’s shoulder with an expression like someone storing one more small arrow just in case before going into a great war, then closed the archives room.
When the door opened, Sarka, who’d been looking at the plate on the table with a thoughtful, absorbed gaze as if lost in contemplation, slowly turned his head.
His gaze unconsciously went to Ruslan then hesitated, looking at the new figure beside him.
Baigarten’s gaze moved briefly to check the table. A bit of resignation and tension arose on Baigarten’s face seeing the untouched plate.
Baigarten, who’d walked inside, sat down on the sofa across from Sarka and jerked his chin at the bed edge for Ruslan.
Ruslan fumbled then carefully sat on the unused bed opposite Sarka’s bed in the double room.
Sarka looked at Baigarten across from him quietly with slightly furrowed brows.
Baigarten didn’t make eye contact with Sarka and declared quietly in a tone seemingly stripped of as much emotion as possible.
“……The Count is coming now, apparently.”
As soon as those words ended, the strange, calm air that had been floating in the room shattered into pieces.
Sarka made a fierce expression like someone who’d heard their mortal enemy was coming to cut his throat, then glared at empty space with eyes smoldering with grim light.
Ruslan felt cold sweat flowing down his back. He finally understood why Baigarten had brought Ruslan in with him, with the mindset of gathering even one more small pebble just in case.
Sarka instantly turned back into a trampled beast. His gaze, from which murderous intent bloomed, smelled of blood, and his nape stiffened like a tense animal. Hatred and rage seeped out of Sarka’s entire body as if melting from the heat as he clenched his teeth and contorted his face.
Baigarten seemed to have decided to quickly get through what was coming anyway, and spoke in the most businesslike tone possible.
“First, the headmaster……explained that one of your friends who was worried since you hadn’t come to class for too long broke the prohibition and snuck into your room, and was so shocked by your physical condition that they tried to force you up on their back to take you out. In that process, the Controller accidentally came off so that’s how it……happened, but the misunderstanding was cleared up……we erased that friend’s memories and sent them back, and we decided to conclude the discipline on our end.”
“…….”
Sarka didn’t open his mouth like a beast submerged in darkness. His calm gaze was eerie like a blade ground on a whetstone.
Baigarten continued in a blunt tone.
“I told the Count that things were smoothed over between us. Since it was something where my side provided the opening in the first place……and you probably didn’t truly mean what you said, that’s what I told him. If you’d really intended to do that……instead of saying it like that, you would have returned without a word and then taken care of it when I let my guard down. ……Because that’s your personality.”
“…….”
Sarka remained silent. Baigarten also didn’t look back at Sarka and spoke stiffly in an emotionless tone.
“He’ll arrive in about three hours, so let’s……match our stories like that.”
“…….”
A sticky silence flowed through the room. Ruslan swallowed and anxiously watched Sarka.
Sarka didn’t look back at Baigarten. Sarka, grimly submerged while staring at empty space, seemed to have no room to pay attention to Baigarten due to his hatred for his father. A faint spasm occurred in Sarka’s cheek as he sank with suppressed breath.
Baigarten remained silent, then began adding quietly. His tone sank slightly and was cautious as if trying his best not to put force into it.
“……About my brother……I’ll apologize.
No matter what I say now, it’ll sound like an excuse, but……it wasn’t the kind of situation you’re thinking.
……As soon as I heard the news that you’d taken in a roommate, I said I’d return my leave and go back to school, and my parents stopped me. I’d shown signs of being too tense. They were worried……whether there was a problem handling you. Since I didn’t open my mouth, Father called me to his study and interrogated me for half the day.”
Baigarten didn’t look back at Sarka. Sarka also didn’t turn his head toward Baigarten.
Baigarten looked at empty space and spoke dryly.
“My parents said that unlike before, since you’re a Complete Pureblood, from Leogrante, have a striking appearance, and have complicated……circumstances entangled, it would be natural for you to have difficulty adapting to human society.
<A Guardian must always consider everything about their ward, be considerate, and become their closest primary confidant…….> They reviewed the basic rules step by step.
I also couldn’t handle the situation at all at the news that you’d taken in a roommate……so I consulted about you a bit. Various……topics came up……and Alberich was hiding and eavesdropping on it.”
Baigarten’s tone was dry. Rather than making excuses or wanting forgiveness, he seemed to want to soothe Sarka.
Their relationship had no room to improve from the beginning anyway. Rather than restoring his relationship with Sarka that had nothing to restore, Baigarten seemed like someone who wanted to somehow blunt at least some of the sharp edges of the anger emanating from Sarka before meeting his father.
Baigarten spoke bluntly in a deliberately emotionless businesslike tone.
“That kid has been dying to hear anything about me or you since he started Guardian education this year. Though he was reprimanded for being caught eavesdropping……Father told him to just come in and listen together since Alberich would have to assist with you next year anyway. Among the topics we discussed……we didn’t mention your complicated circumstances……in detail.
So Alberich probably……didn’t think it was wrong to know that information. ……He probably didn’t know……your circumstances in detail either.”
“…….”
Sarka remained calmly submerged without a word. Baigarten also continued speaking quietly while looking at empty space without turning his head.
“……Still, it would have been better to warn him……my thinking was short.
I didn’t know you’d run into each other like that. I didn’t know you’d be carelessly……made to hear such things.”
“…….”
Sarka didn’t answer. Baigarten remained silent for a long time, then said quietly.
“……I’m sorry.”
The room was quiet. Sarka didn’t say anything with his head turned.
On Sarka’s tired face, anger or hatred toward Baigarten hadn’t arisen. There was just faint fatigue and something hard to express, like a hard lump.
An awkward silence flowed between the two men for a moment.
Baigarten slowly turned his head to look at Sarka’s profile, then looked back at the plate on the table.
He soon changed the subject quietly while swallowing, as if the previous conversation hadn’t happened.
“Before the Count arrives, eat something. ……You don’t want to collapse in front of the Count, right?”
“…….”
After remaining silent for a long time, Sarka slowly turned his head to look down at the table. Baigarten cast his eyes down without facing Sarka.
Sarka, who’d been quietly looking at the plates on the table, slowly reached out and picked up the small soup bowl that Ruslan had put on the dinner plate. Sarka, who’d picked up a spoon, slowly stirred the soup bowl that was cooling and hardening, then lifted the spoon expressionlessly. Sarka began swallowing the soup without a word.
When Sarka began his late meal with his eyes cast down without looking at anyone, Baigarten exhaled a faint breath and stood up from the sofa as if to give him space.
Baigarten looked around Sarka’s bedroom then silently began tidying the room. At the sight of Baigarten removing the sheets with sweat and bloodstains, Ruslan also hurriedly stood up to help him.
There was no conversation between the two as they spread new sheets and organized the scattered towels, basins, and medicine cases.
Ruslan stole glances at Sarka eating the food Ruslan had brought for the first time while clearing away the cold food on the table.
Sarka was moving his hands silently with mechanical motions as if filling an empty container with fuel, with a listless face. Sarka, who hadn’t eaten for a long time, seemed to find it difficult even to swallow the thin soup. Resting several times, Sarka barely got down a few sips of soup. It felt like the absolute minimum amount to eliminate his body’s hunger.
When Sarka put down the bowl emptied slightly less than half and laid down his spoon, Baigarten looked dissatisfied but didn’t urge him to eat more.
The room was tidied, and it was about time for Baigarten and Ruslan to awkwardly return to their places.
Sarka, who’d been sitting quietly with his head lowered, suddenly said dryly.
“……I want to wash.”
His cracking voice was emotionless. Baigarten hesitated and looked back at Sarka.
Sarka looked at Baigarten expressionlessly.
Ruslan suddenly realized that Sarka hadn’t been able to properly bathe or wash his hair for several days.
His skin that had continuously sweated was sticky, and his clothes that he hadn’t changed since yesterday were wrinkled. On the skin where traces of self-harm remained, torn and peeling flesh was stuck, and scabs were tangled in his hair. For Sarka, who was always neat and tidy, it was an appearance that could feel humiliatingly miserable.
He would hate more than death to show such a broken appearance in front of ‘that’ father, of all people. Especially to a father trying to completely crush his spirit by half-killing his son. He wouldn’t want to sit across from him looking even slightly like a defeated soldier with crushed spirit.
His face, where faint pride had revived, was rigidly hardened. Though Sarka was expressionless as if forcibly erasing emotion, Ruslan thought Sarka might cut off his breath rather than meet his father looking like that.
Baigarten seemed to have judged the same. Baigarten, who’d nodded silently, stood up from his seat.
“Get up. I’ll help you.”
“I’ll do it myself.”
As soon as those words fell, Sarka spat out irritably.
Baigarten spoke bluntly in a voice stripped of as much emotion as possible.
“With your current stamina, it could be dangerous if you get in the water.”
“…….”
Sarka made an expression where irritation had risen up unbearably.
Looking down at Sarka’s fierce face submerged in silence, Baigarten exhaled a faint breath. In the end, he soothed stiffly in a lowered voice.
“Don’t be stubborn. You need help right now.”
“…….”
Sarka kept his mouth shut and looked down at Baigarten’s hand like looking at a blade that had to be gripped with bare hands. Ruslan saw that humiliation and disillusionment impossible to shake off settled in Sarka’s gaze.
Even if some of the edges had vaguely broken, the lumps remaining between the two were still heavy and vivid. The sediments that had accumulated for too long were no longer a size that could be passed over with a few words at this point.
The old emotions and antipathy toward each other had now settled deep in each person’s heart, becoming so close to their essence that they couldn’t be carelessly scraped out.
Even if there had been partial misunderstandings in the situation that old hatred had brought about, it wasn’t a depth that could be reversed now.
Although Baigarten had barely saved Sarka’s life and prevented it from going to the worst situation, the two had never trusted each other from the beginning.
At the fact that he had to receive help from the surveillance agent and protector his father had attached, Sarka looked half-dead.
The moment it felt like the edges remaining between the two reached out sharply toward each other and wouldn’t bend easily.
Ruslan blurted out.
“I……I’ll help.”
