“Because you’re not in any relationship, that’s why you’re worried.”
“…No.”
“Then?”
“I said I liked them… but they said they still need time…”
“That’s typical stringing along.”
“I wish it were stringing along… then at least I’d be getting fed.”
“If not… Yoonjo, maybe you’re not worth pouring that much attention into. Or you’re the second one. If you were the first, they wouldn’t have let you have these thoughts.”
“I told you it’s not like that…”
Yoonjo, who replied as if letting it flow that it wasn’t like that, gripped his glass tightly. He said it wasn’t, but he couldn’t help feeling anxious. Especially because of Seonwoo’s recent behavior.
“It’s strange. Yoonjo is bright and has a good personality too. Why doesn’t the person Yoonjo likes like Yoonjo back?”
“These days… it’s just because they’re a bit busy.”
“You said you’re not in any relationship. How do you know?”
Because we live together. Seonwoo hyung is really damn busy. At first, he came home at dawn every day… he’s so tired he falls asleep as soon as he lies on the bed… he’s someone who sleeps in a lot, but he only sleeps two hours and leaves. Now he’s so busy he can’t even be at home.
Yoonjo, who chewed and swallowed the words he couldn’t spit out, let out a deep sigh instead.
“I know, anyway.”
“There’s no need to spend time on someone you have no relationship with. There will be many people who like you more.”
“…Yeah, well…”
Yoonjo, who was answering half-heartedly, stared blankly at his empty left finger. Yoonjo, who gently stroked the inside of his finger with his thumb, tilted the full glass and poured it into his mouth in one gulp. Is it because there’s no ring? Should there be proof of love after all…
He poured it down his throat, and poured again.
No matter how much he drank, the alcohol didn’t decrease. Thinking it was strange, Yoonjo looked at the glass that was the length of a finger, opened his eyes wide, then narrowed them again. When he blinked, the glass that had shown the bottom just before was magically filled up.
Magic. When that one word came to mind, Seonwoo came to mind again. Ki Seonwoo, who had appeared in every magical moment, came to mind again.
“I think of him all the time…”
Yoonjo, who muttered, drank again and put down his glass. When he blinked again, the glass sloshed. Having completely emptied one bottle like that, Yoonjo exhaled a hot breath, then suddenly got up from his seat. It was because he thought he needed some cold air.
“I’m going to go outside for a bit.”
Yoonjo, who spat out the words as if throwing them at the person next to him, immediately went outside the bar. The stuffy air unique to summer covered his skin.
The surroundings were noisy, and the neon sign lights flashed dazzlingly. At the murmuring noise made by people coming and going on every street, Yoonjo suddenly felt dizzy. Yoonjo, who had been standing still in place, raised his head. There wasn’t a single star visible in the sky.
There weren’t any of the stars that had been densely embedded whenever he walked the night streets with Seonwoo in the countryside. And Seonwoo wasn’t next to him either. Suddenly feeling sad about that, Yoonjo completely lowered his head. After staying still for a while, Yoonjo sent a text to Seonwoo. Worried he might be concerned, he pressed the keypad with sincerity, one character at a time.
“Hyung. I’m a bit late today. You know, right? Because of the opening general meeting. But I’ll come home not too late. Actually I’m going to go home now. But I miss you, hyung ㅜㅜ”
Yoonjo, who pressed the send button, fumblingly stuck his phone in his pocket. When he exhaled hot breath again, someone gently grabbed and pulled his shoulder.
“Yoonjo-ya. You’re drunk. Come here, I’ll take you.”
At someone’s touch that landed on his shoulder, past his forearm, and finally on his wrist, Yoonjo bent his waist in half with a snap. Then he politely greeted.
“I’ll go on my own. Thank you. I’ll go home well on my own. I know where home is. I’m going to the person I like. Thank you. I’ll go on my own.”
There was a calling sound from behind. Yoonjo put strength in his legs and ran, worried they might chase after him.
He had to see Seonwoo right now. He missed Seonwoo unbearably. It wasn’t just a thought from drinking alcohol. He missed the nights he strolled with him, the air, his scent, everything.
But that didn’t mean he wanted Seonwoo to hang out with him without doing anything like before. It was just that the moments of being together seemed to be disappearing, and that was really regrettable. Just because he couldn’t see his face a bit due to being busy, his insides were really sulking.
Yoonjo, who had been running toward somewhere while thinking of Seonwoo, suddenly stopped. It was because of the vibration that suddenly came. The strength of the vibration felt from his butt was very erratic. Ugh, ugh…! After trembling a few more times, Yoonjo fumblingly reached out and checked his phone.
SW❤
His mood improved again at those three characters. Yoonjo exhaled a rough breath, then answered the phone as calmly as possible.
“Hyung, why?”
– Yoonjo-ya, please, just stop… running.
“I’m not running though?”
– You know you’ve been running for 20 minutes now? Haa… you really can’t drink.
“I’m not running though? Hyung, you can’t lie.”
– If you lie, you have to get spanked. Turn around, Yoonjo-ya.
Not knowing what he meant, Yoonjo, who had been standing blankly, turned his body as if drawn by a magnet. He saw a tall person walking slowly from not far away. At the somehow unfamiliar appearance, Yoonjo squinted his eyes. He didn’t know where, but it was awkward anyway.
“…Is that Seonwoo hyung?”
– Yeah.
“No… hyung is busy working…”
– I don’t know what you’re talking about, but anyway it’s me.
“You’re a busy person. You’re not here…”
Seonwoo, who had come close to Yoonjo before he knew it, wiped Yoonjo’s face and neck, which were soaked with sweat, with a handkerchief. Then he slightly lowered his mask and replied with a blank face.
“Ji Yoonjo. Are you drunk or not drunk?”
“…I’m not drunk.”
At the clearly drunk tone, Seonwoo slightly pulled down the corner of his lips.
“Let’s go home first.”
Seonwoo, who was turning his body, came to stand blankly in place when Yoonjo suddenly grabbed his clothes. Following that, Yoonjo hugged Seonwoo tightly. Yoonjo, who buried his face in his chest and took in and exhaled large breaths several times, mumbled and said.
“I mished you, hyung.”
“You did? You missed me?”
“Mmm… I kept not shee-ing you sho I mished you…”
It was Seonwoo who had been looking at sleeping Yoonjo’s face every dawn before leaving. Even in the midst of his hectic schedule, he always stopped by home to see Yoonjo’s face before leaving. Of course, from Yoonjo’s perspective, he could think he hadn’t seen him for several days.
Seonwoo stroked Yoonjo’s eyes and then swept back his wet hair. When he blew air with his mouth, one of Yoonjo’s eyes scrunched up slightly.
“But… I don’ follow jusht anyone…”
He couldn’t follow that stream of consciousness at all. Seonwoo lightly patted Yoonjo’s shoulders and lifted him up. Seeing his head droop powerlessly, he seemed completely drunk. Like this, they couldn’t have any conversation.
“I won’t listen to what a drunk baby says, so let’s go home first.”
“Wasn’ you bushee?”
“The busy part is all over now. Let’s go home and talk. Close your eyes, let’s go beddy-bye.”
“I’m not a baby…”
“Yeah. Let’s go beddy-bye, Yoonjo-ya.”
“I heard… you… I’m… even if second… but… rings and fingers too…”
His tongue seemed twisted in a way that didn’t seem normal at all. Thinking that taking him home first was the priority, Seonwoo moved his steps. Yoonjo’s hot breath stuck thickly to his ear, but he tried to ignore it.
***
Something soft yet warm wrapped around his whole body. A ticklish laugh lingered briefly in Yoonjo’s ear, then repeated scattering. He knew it was a dream, but even without saying it, he could tell who the owner of that laughter was. It was also a sound he always heard in his dreams during the period when Seonwoo wasn’t there.
Why are you laughing… he always wanted to ask that, but there was no answer that came back. After being devoured by warmth for a long time, Yoonjo was suddenly bewildered by the situation unfolding before his eyes. He didn’t know when he came, but he was suddenly in the middle of campus.
In the unfamiliar situation, Yoonjo instinctively looked around. Seonwoo was nearby. It was his bare face without a hat or mask. He could see a million-strong army rushing from far away. They looked like fans running to see Seonwoo. Yoonjo, who was urgently trying to grab Seonwoo, floundered at his empty hand.
‘Hyung…! We have to run away!’
But Seonwoo was held in someone’s arms and suddenly ran in a different direction.
‘Bye-! Yoonjo-ya! I decided to leave with my first…!’
Chasing after Seonwoo who was quickly disappearing, Yoonjo shouted.
‘Hyung…! Don’t go! Don’t go!’
He reached out his hand to grab him, but couldn’t reach. He was just busy running while chasing Seonwoo. His feet finally got tangled and he fell forward and rolled on the ground. He said not to get hurt… he did… his nose, forehead, and palms all got injured.
Seonwoo had already disappeared far away and the way for Yoonjo to catch him was distant. Yoonjo sat down in place and cried desperately.
“…Yoon… …Yoonjo…”
“Sob, hic… ugh…”
“Yoonjo-ya…!”
His eyes flew open and Seonwoo’s face filled his entire view. Yoonjo hugged Seonwoo while sobbing.
“Huuung… hyung… Seonwoo hyung…”
“Why, what did you dream? Why are you crying so sadly?”
His eyes stung because of crying. Yoonjo, who was just pouring tears and not saying anything, opened his mouth hesitantly.
“My nose and forehead… *sniff*, ugh… *sob*… hand, mmph, palm… got hurt… but hyung… huuung… you, ran, ugh, ran away… huuk… with your… first… firsht… huuuh…”
When he squeezed his eyes shut again, he clearly felt tears flowing down his cheeks. It was to the point where he thought tear tracks would form on his cheeks at this rate.
“Yoonjo-ya, just a moment.”
Chu-.
The first was his forehead.
Chu-.
Next was the tip of his nose,
Chu-.
Then his cheek,
Chu-.
And lastly, his palm.
