Having passed the hospital long ago, Yoonjo pulled the car over on some roadside. He stepped on the brake sharply, making the car tilt forward. Even then, Seonwoo didn’t say anything, just keeping his head down. Seeing his fingertips trembling occasionally, Yoonjo quickly ran to the opposite side.
“Seonwoo hyung. Hyung, look at me.”
His face was so pale you could picture what it looked like under the mask. Yoonjo carefully unfastened Seonwoo’s seatbelt, then clasped his hands together. Just like Seonwoo had done before, he covered his eyes and spoke gently.
“Breathe.”
“……”
“It’s okay. Only I’m next to you. Don’t worry. No one saw you, hyung.”
His trembling lips closed tightly before long. After a moment, Seonwoo spoke in a voice so delicate it seemed ready to break.
“Yoonjo-ya….”
“Really, there’s no one. It’s just you and me, hyung.”
Having said that, Yoonjo slowly lowered his hand. As if uncomfortable with the sudden light, Seonwoo frowned slightly. Yoonjo held Seonwoo’s trembling hand, then slowly interlaced their fingers. At the temperature that flew and stuck seamlessly to his palm, Seonwoo gripped Yoonjo tightly. It almost looked like they were each other’s only means of holding on.
“See? It’s quiet around us.”
“……”
“All I hear is the sound of wind, birds, and a cultivator rolling in the distance. You know cars don’t come by here often, right?”
Yoonjo’s gaze looking at Seonwoo was full of sincerity. No, more accurately, this kind of gaze from Yoonjo was always directed at Seonwoo. Straight and therefore endlessly serious—that kind of gaze.
“Cicadas are crying, and I can hear the grass leaves rustling loudly in the distance. Seonwoo hyung, this isn’t Seoul. It’s where Namhang village is, and it’s full of elderly people who don’t know Ki Seonwoo.”
Yoonjo noticed Seonwoo’s trembling hand shaking occasionally and took a brief deep breath. He thought he needed to pull himself together. With his free hand, Yoonjo lightly pressed on Seonwoo’s chest.
“And I’m here, aren’t I? Your adorable younger guy Ji Yoonjo is right here.”
A sultry wind swept past their cheeks once. When Yoonjo felt Seonwoo’s heartbeat touching his palm gradually stabilize, he let out a sigh of relief inwardly. Seonwoo’s face was still pale, but not as much as at first.
This person is still afraid of people. That’s why he keeps pushing me away like that….
Ki Seonwoo would have the answer to why he was this afraid. Living together, he’d forgotten. Ki Seonwoo was an actor who had stopped his activities for a reason no one knew, and at the same time, a celebrity with thousands of fans. Normally, he would have been someone out of reach.
Suddenly his mouth tasted bitter. But that didn’t mean Yoonjo was one to stay crumpled up like this. After remaining still for a moment, Yoonjo rolled his eyes as if gauging the situation, then embraced Seonwoo. Then he squeezed his eyes shut. Even in this state, it was obvious Seonwoo would scold him.
But until Seonwoo’s body heat flowed fully into Yoonjo, Seonwoo didn’t take any action. He just quietly buried his face in Yoonjo’s neck. Yoonjo gently patted Seonwoo and said.
“Shouldn’t you be telling me not to cling to you around now?”
At the playful tone, Seonwoo let out a low laugh. Only then did his trembling body and his breathing, which had only been rapid, become somewhat peaceful.
“Even if I tell you, you’ll stick to me anyway.”
“That’s actually true. I’m going to stick tight and melt you.”
Yoonjo, who had been continuously patting Seonwoo, suddenly asked.
“I’ve been thinking, but you never say you dislike me, hyung.”
“Because it doesn’t feel bad.”
“Ah… what kind of answer is that.”
It was a deflating answer. Feeling strangely disappointed, Yoonjo stuck out his lips. After that came a moment of silence. The sound of continuously crying cicadas, the gently rustling leaves, and the harmony created by ripening crops filled the surroundings. A sound familiar to Yoonjo and unfamiliar to Seonwoo.
Sunlight passing through the gaps in the leaves heated up his back intensely. He couldn’t tell if it was because of where Seonwoo’s hand touched, or because of the really stinging sunlight. Soft soil dug between his toes under his half-slipped slippers.
Yoonjo hugged Seonwoo a bit more tightly. After remaining still in that state for a while, Seonwoo spoke with difficulty.
“…You… seem okay. So maybe that’s why I could be okay too.”
“You know these kinds of words are usually said to someone you like, right? You’re finally realizing your feelings toward me too….”
“That’s not it.”
“If it’s not feelings, then what is it?”
“It doesn’t feel bad….”
Thinking ‘what kind of bullshit is this,’ Yoonjo’s eyes widened. Then, seeing Seonwoo’s fingertips still trembling faintly, he carefully pulled away.
“You said before, hyung. That you shouldn’t let your attention go in that direction.”
Their gazes met briefly and Yoonjo bent his waist slightly.
“I’m a bit slow to learn, but….”
Turning his head slightly, Yoonjo kissed Seonwoo’s cheek. A light smack- sound came and Seonwoo briefly held his breath. Yoonjo looked at Seonwoo with anxious eyes, then pulled back a little.
“I remember what you taught me well.”
Yoonjo’s breath flew and stuck to him. Only then did Seonwoo take in a breath and grabbed Yoonjo urgently.
“…You, when did you remember?”
Yoonjo, who had licked his lips with his tongue, put strength into the hand clasped with Seonwoo’s. It was a bit ambiguous to say he remembered. If he had to say, the sesame pod was the beginning. After that, whenever he saw things that were open, Seonwoo’s lips came to mind.
The memories that popped up were extremely faint, but the moment their lips met was vivid. Yoonjo pretended not to know at Seonwoo’s question, rolling his eyes before grinning broadly with his teeth showing.
“How is it? You’re not thinking about other things now, right?”
When wind blew from the mountains, a characteristically cool air circulated. As the cold sweat dried, the nape of his neck became chilly. Seonwoo lowered his head onto Yoonjo’s shoulder and let out a sigh.
“…I guess not.”
“Seonwoo hyung, and the memory… uh, it just kind of came back somehow. I told you I don’t black out.”
Worried he might give the impression he’d deceived Seonwoo, Yoonjo hurriedly explained. The main point was that it wasn’t like that.
“Actually, I really, really accidentally stumbled upon it….”
Seonwoo closed his eyes and took in the sound of Yoonjo’s chattering voice. Then his heart that had been beating fast, his breathing that had only been rough, and his trembling fingertips gradually calmed down. After remaining still for a while, Seonwoo raised his lowered head.
“Hyung, are you okay now?”
“I touched Yoonjo too much today. Right?”
“This is a bit of a special situation, so I’ll give you a special discount….”
When Yoonjo tried to slowly back away, Seonwoo grabbed him as if he’d been waiting. Holding Yoonjo’s jaw under his ears with both hands, Seonwoo lowered his head toward him.
At the gradually closing distance, Yoonjo instinctively shut his eyelids. Seonwoo, who had slowly approached, pressed forehead to forehead. At the body heat touching his skin, Yoonjo sneakily opened his eyes. Seonwoo beyond his gaze had his eyes closed. Feeling awkward being the only one with eyes open, Yoonjo vaguely covered his vision again.
“Yoonjo-ya.”
At the call, Yoonjo opened his eyes and met Seonwoo’s gaze. Seonwoo slowly turned his head and spoke quietly.
“Where is there a special case? You don’t need a discount.”
“What? What do you….”
Something soft touched his cheek. Yoonjo, who opened his eyes a bit wider, unknowingly clutched Seonwoo’s clothes tightly at the sensation that touched his lips brushingly. Seonwoo already had his eyes closed. Suddenly his insides tickled. It was as if someone was rolling a soft feather around inside his belly. His toes curled on their own.
The body heat that had touched very lightly fell away regrettably. In that disappointment, Yoonjo, who was gripping Seonwoo’s clothes tightly, stopped breathing—gasp—and lunged at him as is. Yoonjo, who had remained still with his lips pressed tight, pulled away slightly when it was time to run out of breath. His face had already turned bright red. Yoonjo, who took in rapid breaths to pour air into his lungs, looked at Seonwoo slowly opening his eyes.
“Yoonjo-ya.”
“…Uh, why, hah… why?”
“What am I supposed to do when you’re this cute?”
Unlike Yoonjo whose cheeks had turned red, Seonwoo’s complexion was no different from usual. More accurately, it was a bit more human-like compared to just before when it had been deathly pale.
Smack-.
The lips that had lightly touched his cheek fell away regrettably. Soon Seonwoo, who kissed Yoonjo’s fingertips that were clasped together, smiled comfortably.
“One is a reward, and one is payment.”
“…Just so you know…. I’m not a peach, you know.”
“A peach?”
“I’m saying you’re not poking me to see if I’m ripe or not!”
“You’re already fully ripe, if you ripen any more here you’ll get mushy.”
It was a comment that seemed to have Yoonjo’s blazing face in mind. Yoonjo, clutching Seonwoo’s clothes tightly, stammered out his words.
“I’m not even a peach, but you ki-kiss me and give me pecks like this? You, hyung… don’t even say you like me…. It’s mean to keep poking like this.”
At Yoonjo’s outcry, Seonwoo briefly tilted his head sideways as if contemplating, then let out a laugh.
“It’s because you’re cute.”
“Wowma…. If it’s about being cute, you’d do it with passing cats too, and you’d do it with Dongtae every single day!”
“Those guys won’t do.”
“Then what’s different!”
Seonwoo, having completely regained his composure, brushed up Yoonjo’s hair that had gotten damp with sweat and added.
“I said it’s because Ji Yoonjo is cute.”
As soon as Seonwoo’s ticklish words reached his ear, Yoonjo’s heart started beating thump, thump. Yoonjo looked at Seonwoo with hopeful anticipation.
“Let’s go. Thanks to you, I’m okay now.”
Using the threshold of the open door as support, he stood up and seated Yoonjo where he had been sitting. Taking in a breath, he moved naturally toward the driver’s seat. Though it didn’t seem like he was in a state that could be called okay, Yoonjo didn’t say he would take over the steering wheel.
