“…Hyung.”
“After blurting things out thoughtlessly, I always end up regretting it. Life is hard and exhausting enough, yet without knowing that, you just rush in recklessly and then realize it. That the place you jumped into was a blazing fire.”
His calm expression truly didn’t have even a hint of tears, but somehow Yoonjo felt like Seonwoo was crying. It seemed like he was hurt. Seonwoo was the one who rejected him, yet it seemed the person who had spoken was torn even more deeply.
“Ji Yoonjo.”
The light of the streetlamp shone on Yoonjo’s face with teary eyes. On his forehead glistening with sweat from the heat, his hair was damply stuck. Normally, Seonwoo should have pushed back his bangs and scolded him asking why he’d been waiting here.
He should have lit a few candles on the prepared cake and ended the day with words of happy birthday.
He knew that today was a special day for Yoonjo.
There was no way he’d forgotten Yoonjo’s birthday that he’d seen when registering for insurance last time. He couldn’t even speak properly in case he couldn’t keep his promise to celebrate his birthday. Maybe that’s why. It must be why.
He urgently finished work that should have been handled over two days. He even refused the agency CEO’s words to sleep over one night and hurried down.
If this was the result of all that struggling, Seonwoo wouldn’t have done it.
“I… your type is…”
He was scared. Because he was so honest, if he got swept up in those waves of emotion, he felt like he’d suddenly be thrown alone in the middle of the ocean. Once was enough for such an experience. His heart that had wavered over a young kid who knew nothing had cooled down coldly.
“Get a hold of yourself. You’re confused.”
The deliberately harsh words were partly to close off Seonwoo’s own heart, but also because he hoped Yoonjo wouldn’t enter a crossed path.
As soon as Seonwoo’s words ended, Yoonjo obediently let go of his hands. When he lowered his head, his round back of the head and prettily curled whorl could be seen. His fingertips twitched, but Seonwoo tightly clenched both fists and struggled to hold back.
“Seonwoo hyung.”
“……”
“I told you before that there’s one thing I’m good at.”
Yoonjo felt his throat tightening. When he firmly pressed down on his eyes that were about to well up, his breathing became ragged. Pushing the night air into his lungs, Yoonjo raised his hands and gently grabbed the end of Seonwoo’s shirt with two fingers. It was a small action telling him not to let go even of that.
“Actually, I wasn’t good at that from the start. At first, I wasn’t good at farming either, so I got scolded by grandma and grandpa every day. Don’t thresh sesame seeds like that, red peppers must only be dried under the sunlight. Things like that. There was more but I can’t remember much now.”
“……”
“When I first went to school, it was a bit far from the village so I had to leave early every day. Waking up in the morning was really hard. But because I didn’t want to hear things like ‘kid without parents,’ I practiced two months before going to school. Waking up three hours early. Grandma said I could sleep a bit later and be late, but I couldn’t do that.”
Recalling the teasing words of his classmates, his tears suddenly dried up. Thinking about the humiliation he suffered from those bastards, even now he could jump up from sleep. Yoonjo took a big breath and raised his head.
“Where is there someone who’s good at everything? Even baby birds fall and struggle caught on branches when they fly for the first time. But I can promise you just one thing, hyung.”
“Yoonjo-ya, stop…”
“Even if I really don’t know about other things, I’m good at doing things consistently. I received perfect attendance awards without fail in elementary, middle, and high school. So I can keep liking you, hyung.”
Today was meaningful because it was today. There was no such thing as regret that could be left in the past. He had to say what he wanted to say, express his emotions, and hold tight to his fluttering heart while looking at the person he wanted to see.
You can’t live the life you want entirely. Living was fair to everyone, and sometimes it was a difficult problem. However, the one thing Yoonjo knew precisely was.
“I like you, hyung.”
The rumbling car engine sounds, the chirping of insects, the twinkling starlight, the crescent moon like Seonwoo’s eyes half-closed, and the stuffy summer night air poured down on Yoonjo.
Today would never come again, and if he put it off and covered it up, the way back would disappear before he knew it. Yoonjo didn’t want to live in such regret.
“I’m saying I like Ki Seonwoo.”
At the resolute words that he would never waver, Seonwoo rubbed his face. As if he’d finally heard words he didn’t want to hear, he let out a sigh.
“Do as you please.”
Seonwoo, who spoke in passing, quietly removed Yoonjo’s hesitant hand and took out a small box from the back seat of the car.
“Eat it. It’s late, so go in.”
As the box came into his arms as if being handed to him, Yoonjo firmly grabbed Seonwoo’s forearm. On his utterly dry face, Yoonjo’s lips trembled. When Seonwoo was about to raise his arm halfway, wondering if he was crying.
“You said I could do as I please?”
Yoonjo, who had bitten down hard, opened his eyes wide. It looked like the eyes of some athlete filled brimming with competitive spirit.
“I’ll do as I want. I’ll keep going! Until the words ‘Ji Yoonjo! I like you!’ come out of Ki Seonwoo’s mouth, I’m definitely going to keep going!”
“Ji Yoonjo.”
“You’ll regret it? I’m confused? You’ll regret saying those words. I’m awesome at clinging tenaciously to one thing.”
If he stopped talking even for a moment, his lips would tremble and he’d make a tearful face. Yoonjo deliberately put strength into the hand holding Seonwoo and said.
“I’ll make you like me, hyung.”
It was the best declaration of war Yoonjo could make.
***
“What are you doing?”
“Ah, what do you mean what? I’m getting ready for bed.”
He spread a thin blanket on the floor and laid on top of it a colorful blanket that newlyweds from the Joseon era would have covered themselves with. The pillow was so puffy it could roll around on its own.
Yoonjo, who had pounded the pillow with his fist, pang pang, looked up at Seonwoo.
“Aren’t you going to sleep?”
For someone who had made a declaration of war, Yoonjo acted no differently than usual. As on any other day, he laid out bedding in Seonwoo’s living room and turned on the air conditioner. He even checked Dongtae’s sleeping spot and neatly organized where Seonwoo would sleep.
“Yoonjo-ya, right now you’re…”
“I don’t know why someone who said they’d come tomorrow came today, but won’t you be tired? Sleep. I’m going to sleep soon too.”
Covered with the blanket, Yoonjo crouched obediently, barely breathing until Seonwoo moved his steps. Before long, he heard the sound of the light turning off and the door closing. Peeking his head up and noticing the surroundings were quiet, Yoonjo walked on tiptoe and took out the box he’d put in the refrigerator.
This… bewitching person.
The logo printed on the outside of the box was Plaisir. When he opened it, there was a palm-sized cake piled with macarons inside. He must have bought it after hearing what Yoonjo had said in passing the other day.
He couldn’t give up even more. Regret? Mistaken? Absolutely not. There had never been a time in Yoonjo’s life when he was more certain than this. Taking rapid breaths, Yoonjo picked up his phone and searched.
I confessed and got rejected, what should I do?
Most of the posts said to give up. It wasn’t helpful at all. Originally, even wild animals are all wary of people at first. You have to diligently embrace them with love and pretend not to while preparing food for them, and keep telling them they’re pretty before you can barely touch one hand. Eventually, Yoonjo turned in a different direction.
How to make your crush fall for you
Scrolling down, Yoonjo found a post and eagerly read through it.
Try creating situations as if by chance. While pretending to like movies, watch a famous romance movie to create a subtle atmosphere, or order too much food and eat together as if you can’t help it. While playing drinking games, subtly open up your heart. An unexpected blow will move their heart.
The latter was impossible in this countryside where delivery food wasn’t even available. Then the former method seemed most plausible. Yoonjo hurriedly searched through the list of movies showing at the town theater, then gave up. Naturally, the theater was only full of stuffy old classic movies.
Then what would be good? After pondering, Yoonjo soon came to an answer. Hurriedly setting an alarm and pulling the blanket up to his chin, he closed his eyes tightly. He had to sleep quickly and wake up quickly.
The next dawn, Yoonjo moved diligently. With the determination to make him shed tears of emotion after eating, he carefully made breakfast. He also prepared ingredients in advance for what he’d make for lunch.
Bubbling soybean paste stew and beautifully made rolled omelet, cabbage kimchi cut into bite-sized pieces and braised black beans, seasoned spinach and bean sprouts, stir-fried burdock root, fish jeon and clam jeon remade from scratch. It was perfect.
Looking quietly at the table, Yoonjo rushed out of the house. Yoonjo’s hands when he came back in were full of wild grapes and blueberries. After washing them well and arranging them prettily on the table, he looked carefully. Something felt lacking. After deliberation, Yoonjo sprinkled ketchup in a heart shape and smiled as if proud.
First plan. The start of “There’s no business in front of food.”
While working in the field and resting briefly, he constantly searched about romance movies. Throughout his work, Yoonjo agonized over and over about what timing to drink alcohol and suggest watching a movie. Such worries continued even until the moment he returned home pulling the cultivator.
“Yoonjo-ya, what are you doing being all like that?”
“Uh… it’s nothing. Just a bit…”
“You even worry?”
At Grandfather’s rebuke, Yoonjo slightly raised his head, then turned the cultivator around and put it inside the house. Regardless of the two people’s worried gazes, Yoonjo, his arms full of blueberry beer, shouted.
“I’m going next door!”
“At this rate, you’ll end up marrying the young master next door! Always stuck together disgracefully!”
“Okay!”
Yoonjo, who cleanly acknowledged it, ran with quick steps carrying the giggling laughter on his back.
