I released Hajin’s wrist that I had been holding.
“Hy-Hyung, Hyung!”
As Hahyun rushed toward me, Hajin walked past us without even saying hello and went outside.
“It’s today. I miscalculated the date and thought it was tomorrow. It was today! Why didn’t you say anything, hyung? That’s so mean.”
Despite circling the calendar every day and counting down on his fingers waiting for the punishment to end, he had miscalculated… Hahyun was so cute that I hugged him and laughed. Hahyun spoke with a trembling voice.
“I’m so happy that hyung is responding to me. I really thought I was going to die during that week.”
“Well, who told you to deceive me?”
Hahyun separated from me and fidgeted with his lips, looking like he had a lot to say. Then, as soon as our eyes met, he dropped a single tear.
“What should I do? I’m anxious.”
“What are you so anxious about? We’re always together.”
“…Because I don’t know what’s in your heart. You say you like me, but if you choose one person, what happens to the other? That person could be me.”
My chest tightened at the question, identical to what Hajin had asked earlier. I couldn’t postpone it any longer, and as painful as it would be, I had to make a decision somehow. I cupped Hahyun’s cheeks and kissed him. He hastily devoured my lips, but I couldn’t focus on the kiss at all.
* * *
That night, I called the brothers to the living room. Hajin came out willingly, but Hahyun pretended to be asleep, so I had to force him awake.
The brothers were sitting on the sofa across from me, staring intently. Looking into their eyes, I couldn’t bring myself to speak. I slowly closed and opened my eyes, turning my gaze elsewhere. Neither of them spoke first. Even without making eye contact, I could feel their heated gazes so intensely that my right cheek felt like it was burning.
Since I had called them, I needed to say something… I was becoming increasingly anxious.
“Juwon.”
Hajin called me. His voice was low and gentle. When I turned my gaze, Hahyun was looking at me. I squeezed my eyes shut and blurted out.
“Both of you, leave this house.”
“…What are you saying?”
“Hyung, are you crazy?”
Their voices came simultaneously. I continued with my eyes still closed.
“Since I have no memories, I can’t live anywhere else. So you two need to leave.”
“Why should we leave our own house?”
“Should I leave instead?”
“That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying I can’t leave because you’re here. You know that, so why are you acting like this?”
“That’s right. Hyung, you’re acting strange… Is your mind again…”
I took a sip of the tea in front of me and spoke calmly.
“I’m not saying we should be apart forever, just stay separated for about a month. We’re too close, and I can’t choose anyone.”
They both froze in shock. I bowed my head like a criminal, waiting for them to say something. Hajin spoke first.
“And after a month?”
“I’ll somehow reach a conclusion. About which of you to choose. Right now, being close to both of you makes it impossible for me to think. I just like both of you, and I feel sorry for both of you. That’s why I want to think alone. About who I miss more…”
Hajin held his forehead as if he had a headache, and Hahyun looked at me with an expression like the world had ended.
“Ha, a whole month? A month… Since meeting you, hyung, I’ve never been apart from you for that long. I always found a way to see you. Asking someone like me to stay away for a month… I absolutely can’t do it.”
Hajin added, “The same goes for me.”
I wasn’t surprised by the brothers’ reaction. That’s why I had prepared a weapon.
“Then, I’ll give up on choosing.”
The brothers simultaneously opened their mouths. Their expressions showed even more shock than before.
“Either give me time, or both of you give up on me. Choose one.”
Neither of them readily agreed. My heart, which had been racing madly as I spoke, calmed a little. My intention had been to buy time to reach a favorable answer, not to make both of them give up on me.
Being apart for a month wasn’t an easy decision for me either. I would miss them and want to see them after just one day apart, let alone a month… Could I live without their affection? Could I forget the two most dedicated men in my life? Only today did I truly realize what situation I was in. Since I couldn’t break up with both of them, I needed to quickly choose one person to keep by my side.
Just thinking about it made my heart heavy and painful. Choosing one person meant saying goodbye to the other.
Hajin asked, “Do you really have to do this?”
I nodded firmly.
“What about contact? We should at least be able to confirm that you’re alive and well.”
“That, well…”
While I was momentarily lost in thought, Hahyun said,
“If you won’t let us contact you, I’d rather bite my tongue and die right here. I can’t live.”
“Seo Hahyun, then I’ll live the rest of my life resenting you.”
“If I force you to stay, hyung…”
“Then I’d hate you forever. Even more than before!”
Hahyun seemed startled, backed away, and began crying profusely.
“Just let us contact you. I won’t ask for anything more. You can do whatever you want, just let us confirm that you’re alive.”
What to do… If we kept in contact, my resolve would waver… But if I told them not to contact me at all, they wouldn’t agree to my plan.
I stood up. Without looking toward Hajin and Hahyun, I said,
“I’ll contact you. Every other day, I’ll send the same text message. Don’t think about replying to the message. If you do, it’s over with that person.”
Hahyun jumped up.
“Then… if we reply, you’ll choose the person who didn’t reply?”
“Yeah. This is the best option, so don’t tell me it’s not possible.”
“…”
I returned to my room, avoiding the brothers.
* * *
The next day, the brothers brazenly acted as if nothing had happened. I didn’t speak to either of them first, and only late in the afternoon did I send a text to both of them.
[If you want me to reach a conclusion as soon as possible, pack your things and leave when you go to work. I’d prefer if you didn’t come home today.]
Though I thought this was the only way, I kept having doubts.
Is this really the best option?
The answer came not long after I started pondering. It is the best option. As things stood, I couldn’t go back to the time when I hated them, nor could I continue this precarious relationship.
While I was lying on the bed, covering my face with both hands and thinking, I heard the brothers’ voices outside my door.
“Juwon.”
“Hyung.”
I didn’t answer, afraid that seeing them would make my resolve waver.
“We should at least say our final goodbyes.”
“That’s right. I’ll just say goodbye and leave. We’ve both packed our bags. We can have Hyunwoo hyung bring the rest later.”
The brothers’ voices were calmer than I expected. Hearing them sound so unaffected made me feel a bit sad. I felt like my heart was breaking, yet they were saying their final goodbyes so easily?
No. Yoon Juwon, pull yourself together. Why are you so fickle? It’s a good thing if they follow my instructions without much resistance.
My feelings changed several times in a single moment. If even my own heart was this uncertain, who was I to blame the brothers? I forced myself to get up from the bed.
“I’ll come out. We should say our goodbyes.”
With those words, I opened the door.
At that moment, my vision turned dark, and I felt my body being lifted into the air. It felt like I was being wrapped and carried in a thick blanket.
“What, what’s this!”
“Stay still. You’ll get hurt.”
“That’s right. Don’t move.”
Since they were similar in height, I couldn’t tell who had lifted me, but I struggled with all my might. However, my body didn’t budge.
Sigh… Of course. How could I expect these crazy brothers to let me go so easily? Why did I waste my effort?
Although I felt stifled at the thought of the same situation repeating itself, I was also somewhat relieved.
It would have been too overwhelming for me to spend a month without Hajin’s gentle morning greetings or Hahyun’s tears.
* * *
The two carried me for quite a while. Judging by the sound of the front door opening midway, it seemed we had left the house.
What’s going on? Are they planning to put me in the trunk?
“Hahyun, let me go. I won’t run away.”
“Hyung, please bear with it a little longer even though it’s uncomfortable. We’ll let you go comfortably once we’re in the car.”
Thankfully, it seemed they weren’t planning to put me in the trunk. After a moment, I heard a car door open, and I was placed on the back seat, still wrapped in the blanket. As soon as the car started moving, the blanket was removed, and my vision cleared. Hajin was in the driver’s seat, and Hahyun was beside me.
“Where are we going? I clearly said last night that if you do this, I’ll hate both of you.”
Hajin was busy driving and didn’t respond, while Hahyun held my hand, interlacing our fingers, and said,
“We’re going to the villa.”
