“……”
Just as Kim Eorin was about to answer something, someone hugged me from behind. I flinched my shoulders in surprise for a moment.
“Chiwon-ah.”
It was Jung Woojin. I let out a small sigh.
“Jung Woo, Woojin-ah.”
“Chiwon-ah, I’m hungry.”
Throughout class, I could hear him sleeping soundly behind me. After sleeping well through two periods straight, now he’s hungry. Jung Woojin, who was tall enough to rest his chin on top of my head without difficulty—my head being at average height for our age—hung on me languidly, making my shoulders heavy enough that groaning sounds came out naturally.
“What was lunch today?”
As Jung Woojin muttered with half-closed eyes, Kim Eorin said.
“Curry.”
“Curry?”
“Yeah, is it curry today?”
Na Junsu, who had popped up from behind, chimed in with an answer. Then he looked at me being held almost crushed by Jung Woojin and burst into laughter.
“Chiwon, are you breathing?”
“I… don’t think I am…”
I was serious. When I groaned my answer, Na Junsu and Kim Eorin giggled at the same time. With laughter still in his voice, Kim Eorin reached out and lightly tousled my hair. I secretly swallowed.
“I’m hungry.”
Jung Woojin whined with his eyes closed.
“Let’s go get in line early, Chiwon-ah.”
“Huh?”
“Let’s go eat…”
Jung Woojin dragged me along. I was led away, practically dangling. I felt my feet slightly lifting off the ground, which was a bit scary. I’d felt it during basketball too, but Jung Woojin was incredibly strong, matching his build. He was strong enough not to be pushed back even if two people rushed at him.
I made a confused expression at the suggestion to go line up together in front of the cafeteria. So right now, he’s asking me to go eat with him?
Really? Really? Since I wasn’t answering with a bewildered face, Jung Woojin made a puzzled expression.
“Aren’t you going to eat lunch?”
“No, I’m going to eat. I’m going to eat, but…”
“Then let’s go.”
“Hey, we got our turn stolen!”
That’s when Na Junsu suddenly butted in.
“I was going to ask Chiwon to go eat together!”
Why are you guys like this…? I barely swallowed what I almost said outright. Jung Woojin shook his head.
“No, Chiwon’s going to eat with me… Right, Chiwon-ah.”
“Uh…”
“Then we can all go together. You and me and Chiwon and Eorin.”
“Ah… that would work.”
I hadn’t even answered, but Jung Woojin nodded with a convinced face. Though we’d only been close for about a day, I could tell Jung Woojin was severely dense in some areas. Na Junsu, who had been holding back laughter, finally burst out laughing while pulling both me and Jung Woojin into a hug.
“Ah… I like these guys so much.”
“Then let’s go.”
Kim Eorin gestured while opening the back door. Walking while sandwiched between Na Junsu and Jung Woojin, I struggled to pull along my feet that wanted to stop at the suddenly rushing situation. So right now, we’re going to eat together. Together, food!
In elementary school, a lunch cart came to each class and we received our portions and ate at our own seats, but in middle school I was alone in the cafeteria for all three years. So there were more days I didn’t eat than days I did. It had been the same these past few days after entering high school. But for this to change so suddenly, so easily, when I hadn’t made any effort.
The whole time we were standing in line in front of the cafeteria, thanks to Na Junsu who had taken to teasing Jung Woojin, there was no break in conversation. Even after receiving our trays and sitting at the table, the conversation continued, and I secretly smiled quietly too. But it seemed Kim Eorin, who was sitting right next to me, saw it all.
“Chiwon seems to be in a good mood.”
“Ah… does it seem that way?”
“Yeah.”
I smiled facing Kim Eorin.
“I always ate alone.”
“Ah, really?”
“Yeah. I didn’t know a single person at this high school.”
“Which middle school were you at?”
“Hanseong Middle School.”
“Oh, isn’t that not far from here? Well, there aren’t many schools around this area.”
“Yeah. But the closest elementary school in this area is near there, so I went there because I went together when taking the younger kids to school.”
“I see.”
Orphanages are avoided facilities, so it was difficult to build them close to schools or downtown. Because residents strongly opposed them. So there weren’t many apartment complexes or schools around our orphanage. The younger kids all rode together in the orphanage’s old van to elementary school, and I chose a middle school close to that elementary school to go to school together with the younger kids. If Haebam Boys’ High hadn’t been built, even the closest high school would have required a 30-minute bus ride, and if the foundation hadn’t made the offer, I would have gone to school there.
The atmosphere was fine even when I brought up the younger kids. I guess it’s okay to talk about this much. I watched the kids’ reactions while gauging the line internally. I didn’t want to make mistakes anymore. Then I inadvertently made eye contact with Kim Eorin, but feeling guilty alone, I turned my head. After a moment, weight settled on my left shoulder.
“Chiwon-ah.”
“Uh, yeah?”
“…Never mind.”
It was an anticlimactic statement that made calling me pointless. Kim Eorin turned his head and silently began finishing his remaining food.
“Chiwon-ah, are you leaving?”
“Yeah. I’m not doing evening self-study.”
“Really? Go safely. See you tomorrow.”
“Yeah.”
Jung Woojin waved his hand. I waved back and shouldered my bag, approaching the classroom’s back door. ‘See you tomorrow.’ See you tomorrow… Then a hand suddenly popped out from beside the door and pressed against the wall, blocking my way. When I jumped back in surprise, I heard laughter.
“Going home?”
It was Kim Eorin. When I nodded after exhaling, having clenched my jaw for a moment, Kim Eorin removed his arm and grinned mischievously. Looking at Kim Eorin’s face, it seemed I’d hidden my expression well. Right, it was Kim Eorin in front of me. I reminded myself of that fact and soothed myself.
“See you tomorrow.”
“Chiwon, go safely.”
Na Junsu was waving his hand gently from the side. Strength drained from my shoulders without me realizing it. I waved my hand while holding back a smile trying to escape through my lips.
There are three kids saying goodbye and see you tomorrow. Today, finally, I have something to brag about to the teachers.
When I returned to the orphanage, I changed out of my uniform and while helping prepare dinner, casually mentioned that I played basketball with the class kids today. I was so excited that if I talked too much it would seem like I was showing off, which would be embarrassing, so I tried hard to speak as if it was nothing special. But as soon as the teachers heard those words, they broke into beaming smiles and patted my bottom.
“Oh my, our baby.”
“Ah, I’m not a baby. How old am I?”
“You’re still a baby in my eyes.”
I could clearly see the teachers were in very good moods. I smiled with an embarrassed face. That evening happened to be curry too, and even though it was the same menu I’d had for lunch, I cleaned my bowl completely. The younger kids said I seemed to be in a particularly good mood today and talked to me, but my pride as the eldest wouldn’t allow me to brag even to the younger kids that I ate with the class kids, so I just smiled.
After returning to my room, I even took out an uncharacteristic small notebook and wrote a diary entry. It was a diary with only the first pages tattered because I’d tried a few times in middle school but failed before even three days and repeatedly tore out pages.
I was aware that I was making a fuss over something everyone else does naturally. But it was that important to me. Having people to greet with smiles when going to school. The diary I was writing now was less about commemoration and more about leaving evidence just in case. So that even after sleeping and waking up, I’d know it wasn’t a daydream.
‘There were three kids who ate together with me and said goodbye saying see you tomorrow. I was in such a good mood I surprised myself. The truth is, I’d been longing for it.’
After writing that much, I propped my chin on my hand and tapped the notebook with the tip of my mechanical pencil. Writing in a diary what I didn’t want to admit required more resolution than I thought. After briefly agonizing, I soon finished writing the diary entry.
‘I thought I was detached because I was used to not having close friends, but that wasn’t the case at all. Can we become friends? I want to try greeting them first.’
I wrote up to there and put down the pen. A diary was something someone would read anyway. Was that why? In the end, I couldn’t write my true feelings.
The next day when I went to school, as expected, there was no one in the classroom. I habitually opened the door and ventilated the room, then sat down and took out a book, but couldn’t take my eyes off the classroom door. I began gauging by myself internally. If it was like usual, it would be Jung Woojin, Kim Eorin, Na Junsu in that order. Jung Woojin slept a lot but came to school early, but instead he slept face down the whole time until roll call. Kim Eorin also came early, and Na Junsu barely avoided being late. I’d learned this from observing who among the kids came early and late when I was bored from coming to school too early with nothing to do.
Three or four kids entered the classroom, and the next one to open the front door was unexpectedly not Jung Woojin but Kim Eorin. When my expectation was wrong, I blinked with a slightly surprised face.
“Hello.”
Kim Eorin came straight to me and greeted me without even putting his bag down at his seat. I waved my hand.
“Hello.”
I’d tried to greet first but failed. Kim Eorin, who had been quietly looking at me as if gauging my face, suddenly let out a long sigh. Then he put his bag down in its place and sat in Lee Kanghyeong’s seat, who hadn’t arrived yet. But for some reason, the first thing Kim Eorin said had a slightly reproachful tone.
“You really come early to school.”
“The orphanage is right behind the school. Even if I leave after feeding the younger kids breakfast, I arrive first.”
“Ah, did you eat breakfast?”
“Yeah. Didn’t you eat?”
“I didn’t eat. Junsu’s going to buy me some later.”
Kim Eorin grinned as he said that. Since Na Junsu liked bets so much, I figured he must have wagered something again, so I just nodded silently.
“What did you have for breakfast?”
“Just rice and rolled omelet and…”
“Are you full?”
“Yeah.”
“No, they told you to eat breakfast properly. Eat more. I’ll share my portion with you so let’s eat that.”
“But then you’ll eat less.”
“Let’s tell Junsu to buy a lot. Or I’ll buy you some.”
I made a bewildered expression. Kim Eorin seemed like someone desperate to feed me. When I said I really wasn’t hungry, not just saying it, Kim Eorin made a face like that couldn’t be true. In the end, only after I made a strange promise to Kim Eorin that I’d at least get a piece of bread from him did Kim Eorin nod.
[To be continued in the next episode…]
