He wanted to let everything go and fall asleep like this, but he had to go deliver milk in just a few hours. Even a cheap love hotel mattress was sufficient luxury for Wooyeon, but right now he didn’t have the leisure to enjoy it.
He could feel Jeonghan’s breathing from their touching chests and close faces. Wooyeon spent a few more minutes catching his breath while thoroughly observing Jeonghan’s face. It was quite a sight worth seeing.
“Ah.”
He turned his body and barely escaped from Jeonghan’s embrace when his arm got caught with a tug. When Wooyeon turned around, Jeonghan was holding Wooyeon’s wrist while looking at him with half-open eyes.
“What, you’re awake?”
As if he’d done something he shouldn’t have, heat rose to Wooyeon’s face for a moment. Even though it wasn’t intentional, it felt like being entangled on the bed was all his fault. Whether Jeonghan knew Wooyeon’s feelings or not, he smiled faintly and then closed his eyes again.
“Really… what the hell.”
The hand gripping Wooyeon’s wrist remained.
* * *
An hour and a half after returning home, Wooyeon had to leave again. Milk delivery didn’t have a precisely set time and was flexible within the morning hours, but if it got delayed, it interfered with getting to his other part-time job.
Dawn milk delivery, morning bakery opening shift, going to school then tutoring, and working the convenience store part-time from late night until dawn. At first, he thought he might die living like this, but now it seemed like it might be okay to die living like this.
“Ah.”
Wooyeon, who had been putting milk into the milk bag hanging on an apartment door handle, hurriedly pulled out his hand and covered his nose. There were drops of blood on the floor. Whenever he felt like he’d pushed himself a bit too hard, he would get nosebleeds like this, and today was no exception.
Of all times, I don’t have tissues.
Wooyeon looked at the blood drops that had fallen in the hallway in front of the apartment entrance, unsure what to do for a moment, then finally pulled out his sweater sleeve and wiped it. It’ll come out, probably.
Fortunately, it was the last milk on that route, so Wooyeon left the apartment and went into a nearby shopping center restroom. His cheeks were red from the cold, and blood was smeared around his nose. It seemed a little funny, and it also seemed like this version of himself was pitiful.
Wooyeon turned on the water and wet his blood-covered hand and the sweater sleeve soaked with blood. The water was as cold as ice, but there was no other way. After washing his face with that water, his head rang out with a throb.
Watching the blood dilute in the water and drain away, he raised his head to see a face frozen pale with only bright red lips reflected in the mirror. Fortunately, the nosebleed had stopped.
“I’ll be late.”
Wooyeon, who glanced at the clock once, sighed as he left the shopping center restroom. It was because Kwon Jeonghan from last night suddenly came to mind.
Did that kid… sleep well?
**3.**
“Seo Wooyeon. Student Seo Wooyeon?”
“…Yes!”
As Wooyeon rushed into the lecture hall, dozens of eyes fixed on him. The ending had been a bit delayed because the new part-timer wasn’t familiar with things yet.
“Come a little earlier next time. If you’re late, it will be reflected in your grade.”
“Yes, I understand.”
“Then, next. Seon Wooshik.”
Wooyeon, who had grabbed a seat anywhere nearby and put down his bag, caught his breath. Fortunately, he’d avoided being late. He didn’t have enough time to study as it was—he couldn’t afford to lose points on attendance.
The professor said he valued diligence above all, but starting today, the second lecture, he was already conducting an intensive class. Nothing was getting into his head. Thinking he needed caffeine after all, Wooyeon drank the Americano he’d brought from the bakery café where he worked part-time.
“Instead of a midterm exam, we’ll substitute it with a group project. I announced this last time, so you should all know.”
At the professor’s words at the end of class, sighs burst out here and there. It was the worst for Wooyeon too. Because he had so many part-time jobs, matching schedules for group projects was no small ordeal.
“Make groups of four and submit your presentation topic by next class. Well then.”
Along with the sound of “Thank you,” students including Wooyeon stood up from their seats. The sound of chairs scraping the floor and books hitting desks created an irregular harmony. Only caffeine was soothing his tired body.
As Wooyeon picked up the takeout cup on his desk, he suddenly made eye contact with someone at the bottom of the tiered lecture hall.
“Sunbae-nim!”
It was Kwon Jeonghan. As if he’d met someone truly welcome, his eyes curved. At that moment, Wooyeon thought that if someone saw this, they might describe it as enchanting.
When the somewhat unrealistic features eventually approached closer, Wooyeon even took a few steps back for some reason. It felt like a huge Malamute running up while wagging its tail. Or was it a Shepherd?
“You’re taking this class?”
If Jeonghan had been there last time, there was no way Wooyeon wouldn’t have remembered. Wooyeon looked at Jeonghan and frowned slightly.
In contrast, despite Wooyeon’s stiff reaction, Jeonghan was composed as if he’d expected it. Before he knew it, Jeonghan was standing on the step right below where Wooyeon stood. Because of the considerable height difference, their eye levels had been quite different, but having their gazes match like this felt strange again.
“Ah, I applied for course adjustment. I didn’t know you were taking this class, sunbae-nim.”
“…I see.”
Is he asking for praise or something? Wooyeon averted his eyes from Jeonghan, who was smiling at him with his lips forming an arc. He’d thought it would end after once, but “coincidence” seemed more persistent than he’d thought. Eyes curved as if kind leisurely scanned over Wooyeon’s body.
“Oh, but there’s something on your sleeve.”
Jeonghan naturally pulled Wooyeon’s hand and touched his sleeve. Under the large, handsomely elongated long fingers, Wooyeon’s bloodstain was touched. Wooyeon, flustered, immediately pulled back the wrist Jeonghan had grabbed. Having something on his clothes, and even the fact that he’d had a nosebleed, somehow felt shameful. Perhaps sensing that he disliked it, fortunately Jeonghan didn’t ask any more about it.
“Sunbae-nim.”
As Wooyeon packed his photocopied textbook and notebook into his bag and tried to leave, Jeonghan’s voice caught him again. Wooyeon turned around and looked at Jeonghan with cold eyes.
“You were too much yesterday. When I got drunk because of you.”
“……”
“Leaving me in a place like that and just going home alone.”
Multiple emotions crossed through him. It was true that he’d received help, and it was also true that he’d been really grateful. But for Wooyeon, he’d done his best to take him there. Moreover, even that shabby love hotel room rate was more than a week’s living expenses for Wooyeon.
“I’m sorry.”
He couldn’t explain everything in detail, and there was no need to. As if there was a set answer, Wooyeon answered concisely. Perhaps it was the answer he wanted, as Jeonghan’s face brightened even more.
“Then buy me a meal.”
Wooyeon’s face was instantly colored with bewilderment. He didn’t know about others, but for Wooyeon, it was something too difficult. When Wooyeon didn’t answer and turned back toward the steps again, Jeonghan jumped up from behind with his long legs. Wooyeon and Jeonghan’s eyes met again.
“Even the school cafeteria is fine.”
“……”
When Wooyeon didn’t answer and passed by Jeonghan to leave the lecture hall, Jeonghan followed him again.
“Sunbae-nim, are you angry?”
He’d forgotten. That Jeonghan had a persistent side since childhood. If he didn’t properly conclude things, it seemed like he’d keep following like a puppy caught in the rain.
When Wooyeon stopped walking and looked up at Jeonghan, Jeonghan also stopped moving.
“I’m sorry. I’ll be honest. I don’t have money for that.”
“Then I’ll buy it for you.”
Jeonghan’s answer came as if he’d been waiting. Wooyeon sighed in frustration.
“I don’t have the leisure to leisurely eat with you either.”
He didn’t want to get any more entangled with Jeonghan. Moreover, being indebted to someone was something Wooyeon hated to death, even if it wasn’t Jeonghan. He was sick and tired of debts by now.
“If you understand, move aside.”
“…Then.”
Jeonghan didn’t seem to tire. Rather, it was the tired-faced Wooyeon who looked up at Jeonghan again. Eyelashes spreading like a fan lengthily split the sunlight.
“Then will you do the group project with me?”
“……”
“I have pretty good grades, you know.”
Jeonghan, adding that, smiled at Wooyeon again.
* * *
「Sunbae, when are you free tomorrow? I’d like to meet briefly about selecting the topic.」
At the phone vibration, Wooyeon briefly took out his phone to look at the screen, then put it back inside his convenience store apron. He was crouching down, arranging newly arrived items in the convenience store. Before he knew it, the form of address that had been ‘sunbae-nim’ had changed to ‘sunbae.’
Whew. Wooyeon lowered his head at the sigh that forced its way up from his chest.
He’d tried to cut off the opportunity to continue their relationship as “coincidence,” but with Jeonghan suddenly breaking down walls and coming in, that wasn’t easy either. He was just one person among many seniors, and he couldn’t understand what Jeonghan liked about him that made him keep approaching. He sometimes wondered if it was just simple human-to-human affection and he was getting scared and trying to keep his distance for no reason. At this moment, the bundle of ramyeon in his hand somehow felt pathetic.
