A headache occurred. It felt like someone was splitting my head with an awl. Was this Jay’s pain, or was it mine?
“I…… how do I……”
Jay clutched his head. No. Is it my hand? Jay’s muttering voice…… is it my voice?
“Who am I?”
A voice whose owner couldn’t be identified lingered in the guidance room. However, no one answered.
Red blood trickled down from the nose. It felt like the inside of my head had become mush and was melting chaotically. Jay’s thoughts and my thoughts mixed murkily. The wall of ego that had been maintained intact collapsed.
“Who, am I?”
My voice and simultaneously Jay’s voice burst out of my mouth. Though not of my own will, I covered my mouth at the words that were spat out, but the state inside my head was more of a problem than that.
Jay’s memories rampaged like a bull that had seen red. They mixed busily with the memories built up since becoming Jack. Things that seemed like they wouldn’t mix like water and oil merged together. The memories I had carefully accumulated while living as Jack swayed precariously.
“Master. Master!”
Belly urgently returned to his original form and supported me. I helplessly fell and leaned into his broad embrace that firmly held me. My appearance entering my blurred eyes was different from usual. Jay’s color and my color were messily mixed.
Pale white skin and yellow skin, brown hair and black hair coexisted. The mixed appearance was not clean and was dirty as if paint had been splattered, and looked as if diseased. My eyes reflected in Belly’s eyes also crossed between black and beige with each blink.
Belly picked me up with hasty hands. It seemed like he wanted to immediately kick off from this spot, but he couldn’t move a single step and stood dumbly in the middle of the room. It must be because others’ eyes were a concern for leaving the room.
If he used concealment technique, he could leave without problem, but if others discovered the empty preparation room, things could get big. Moreover, there was a watcher attached by Vinoshu, so there was even more need to be careful.
A situation caught between a rock and a hard place. Belly stroked me pitifully.
But I couldn’t feel Belly’s sympathy. I just struggled through the sea of memories in a hazy state. Memories I originally couldn’t remember. They were Jay’s memories.
‘Jay! Are you reading that trash-like book again!’
A man with a blurred face yells at Jay.
But…… that man’s appearance was strange. He was clearly yelling at Jay, but he wasn’t wearing Philina Kingdom clothes. A gray tee with a stretched neck and striped trunk pants. I could state with certainty that it was a style of dress that couldn’t be seen on the Ritsa Continent. On his worn tee was drawn a logo resembling a boomerang.
The book in the man’s hand was a fantasy novel popular with people that he’d taken from Jay. <How to Survive as a Scoundrel Duke’s Son>. But…… the title was written in Korean, not the Ritsa Continent common language.
As soon as I recognized that fact, I covered my mouth in nausea. My brain sizzled and boiled from the overload.
‘Where do you have time to read such useless books! It’s not over just because you got into university! Remember well who pays your tuition!’
The book was soon torn to shreds in the man’s hands. The paper scraps scattering in the air were sad. Though it wouldn’t be mine, pain arose in my chest and I was distressed.
There was no way Jay would take well the sight of his book becoming a mess. He opened his mouth with a tearful face.
‘B, but I also have rest time……’
It was a voice dripping with moisture enough to evoke sympathy.
“It’s not like I played recklessly.”
I muttered without realizing it. It was words that burst out suddenly like a balloon popping. ……Why did I speak as if I were Jay?
I could state with certainty I didn’t have such a memory. What I could recall after possessing this body was only the content of the novel I had read excitedly. So all the memories I’m recalling now must all be illusions. It must definitely be a side effect of Persona.
Thinking that way, these strange scenes before my eyes made sense. Since it’s a side effect in the first place, illogical appearances must be rising as memories. Things like clothes and Korean from before possession.
But even trying to be convinced that way, the confusion didn’t fade. I wanted to stop seeing this memory. I wanted to be freed from this pain. However, the memory continued to progress.
‘You can’t do anything at this rate. Get it together! You’re the only normal one in this house! You know this father and mother are only looking at you! Huh!! Do you want to become like your hyung?!’
The man’s hands gripping Jay’s shoulders tightly with both hands hurt even me. But more painful than the pain of my shoulder bones about to break was the surging resentment and heavy pressure. Though it was clearly an emotion I was feeling for the first time, I felt déjà vu.
At that moment, the appearance of the man who had grabbed Jay’s shoulder changed. It was the man with a tired impression I’d seen in my dream. He looked down at Jay with a face full of anger and irritation. No, that wasn’t Jay. Jay’s appearance had become Jack at some point.
That was…… me.
‘Listen! Please! You’re just a normal kid!’
Cold sweat like ice water trickled down. Was this also a side effect of Persona? Why does it keep tormenting me? What did I do wrong? I’m just enjoying this world. I’m just living as a reader of this world…….
“Master, Master…… Please……”
Belly’s voice buzzed and rang in my ears. Like a fish caught on a fishing line, I was hooked by that voice and came up to the surface.
That didn’t mean I could come to my senses right away. I somehow struggled desperately to wake up, but I couldn’t move as if trapped in the narrow prison of flesh.
Belly desperately took care of me in that state. He removed the shoes and outer clothing constricting my body, massaged my body that was becoming cold, and even fed me potions. However, despite his efforts, I didn’t easily come to my senses.
“Master…… Master……”
Belly’s voice calling me not knowing what to do was pitiful like that of a lost young child. Surely that face must be pitifully contorted. Ridiculously, the more I heard that voice, the more my emotions calmed down.
Belly’s cold hand sorrowfully stroked down my face. It was when I was finding stability intoxicated by his emotions. He suddenly embraced the back of my head and kissed me.
A thick tongue parted and entered my mouth. Since all the strength had drained from my body, my mouth opening was instantaneous. Belly’s breath and saliva flowed into my mouth that opened without any resistance.
Since Belly was a reptilian beastman, his body temperature was particularly low. Perhaps because of that, the more we touched, the more my tongue cooled coldly.
Interestingly, there wasn’t a single point of lust in that act. He was kissing me with emotions close solely to reverence. It was an appearance like a believer praying to a god.
Starting from the cold tongue, my mind awakened perfectly. Belly immediately separated as soon as I came to my senses.
“Be, Be, Belly?”
I momentarily forgot everything I had seen. That much, the kiss with him was shocking. I…… with Belly? How dare? No matter what I thought, Belly shed chicken-dropping-like tears streaming down and embraced me again.
“Master…… Master, I’m glad…… you came back.”
Then he sobbed profusely and kissed the back of my hand and rubbed his face. He was truly glad I had awakened. I couldn’t scold such a person asking what he had just done.
“……Belly, were you scared?”
“Yes, yes…… I was scared. I thought you were going to leave me behind……”
Belly’s hand caressing me was cold as ice. Though it was originally on the cool side, now it was cold like a dead person. But that too would soon be warmed by my body’s temperature.
“There’s no way I’d go anywhere.”
Even at my confident words, Belly seemed unconvinced as he exuded anxiety with his whole body. Well, while enjoying the novel with Persona, my body was collapsing, and a phenomenon like just now had occurred. For Belly, he had no choice but to be anxious.
“It’s okay…… It’s okay, Belly.”
I slowly soothed him. At the same time, I tried to recall the memories I had experienced earlier. However, strangely, I couldn’t recall those memories perfectly. It was similar to not remembering most of what you see in dreams when you wake up.
Anyway, for now that wasn’t the problem. Jay’s time wasn’t over yet.
“I should quickly hand the body over to Jay. Belly, you also hurry and change to lizard form.”
“A little more. Just a little more……”
Belly pulled my body in with strong force. His trembling hands informed me that he was still gripped by extreme fear. He buried his face in my nape. Wet tears soaked my shoulder. It was like a flood.
At that desperation, in the end I wordlessly permitted Belly’s actions. A considerable amount of time was needed until I gave the body over to Jay like that.
* * *
“I guess I really am seriously sick somewhere.”
Jay sighed deeply alone and slumped onto the bed. He came to his senses long after the last time he remembered. It was because the time I wasted was far longer than expected. When even briefly fainting would be dangerous, Jay felt a great threat to his health at having lost consciousness for so long.
“Ah! The report!”
Then, belatedly realizing there wasn’t much time left to report to Vinoshu, he urgently wrote the report. Though he had felt his body wearing down gradually since coming to Connubium, he was startled to have fainted for so long like this.
“Should I end the contract midway and leave……”
