“The more you act like this, the shorter your lifespan becomes.”
It was a fact I already knew. That the more I acted this way, the more my lifespan burned away and grew shorter. But I couldn’t help that either. The rage and hatred that burned through my body grew hotter with each passing day, and if I didn’t spew it out, I felt like I would go mad.
For the sake of the future… for the sake of revenge…
‘Sayed, this mother of yours…’
The voice of the woman who had been as beautiful as a pearl in mud—a concubine, the Sultan’s favorite consort, the one the Sultana fiercely hated, the woman who was simply a kind mother to me—rang buzzing in my ears.
I wanted to scream more. I wanted to vomit out all the rage and sorrow that had clumped together inside me. But I went limp helplessly from the drugs injected into my veins. Terrible depression and lethargy dragged me down into despair like a tidal wave.
My ability was higher than what was known, but since I wasn’t Master-level, I couldn’t deal with the drugs perfectly. The great mistake had been losing my soul at the sight of my mother’s horrifically disposed body after our defeat and being dragged to Connubium without being able to do anything.
Even when I tried to escape belatedly, Connubium’s drugs were made with a different combination from the commonly used drugs. So my drug resistance became useless and I had no choice but to be helplessly subjected to it. That was precisely the reason I endured the torture called education.
The more I endured the torture, the rage churning inside me didn’t subside with each passing day but intensified instead. I was on the verge of death before I could wait for resistance to build up.
Even without the influence of drugs, Connubium was no different from an impregnable prison. A dilemma. It was the worst situation.
If the Sultana had known about this drug earlier, she might have desperately tried to find it out.
Even in this agonizing situation, I gritted my teeth thinking of the Sultana. The rage that wouldn’t subside made me even self-harm, but what was certain was that without that fierce emotion, I wouldn’t have endured until now. If that were the case, the laughter of the victorious Sulurta and Sultan would ring endlessly in my homeland.
“Do you think… I’ll lose…?”
My voice that came out mixed with phlegm-rattling sounds was pathetically disgusting. It felt miserable, as if proving the desperate pain I was experiencing.
In the prison where not a single ray of light entered, there wasn’t even a student in the same situation as me, so I had to endure endless solitude as well. In the dark and desolate space, I kept muttering with white-filmed eyes. If I didn’t, I felt like I would submit to them.
“Do you want revenge?”
At that moment, a man wearing a black robe appeared before me. I recognized who he was at once. Since he wasn’t a professor, it was even easier to recognize him.
“Back then… that man…?”
The professors who come down to this basement to manage me are limited. Since I meet few people, remembering isn’t difficult.
Also, among those few people, those two who had treated me last time and chattered on their own were unique, so they remained in my memory even more. There was no one among the professors who had a build as tall as that man, so it was easy to identify him.
“As expected. You recognize me.”
The man smirked and crouched down to observe me. A body in a miserable state full of bruises. A forehead covered in blood that hadn’t dried long ago. Arms full of holes from being injected with drugs so many times. The cloth clumsily wrapped around my face had come loose, revealing the wrinkled skin from burns that could inspire sympathy.
However, such soft emotions didn’t exist in the man’s eyes. Rather, he examined me as if assessing my value.
“That… man…?”
I couldn’t forget the other man who had openly shown his delight toward me.
The one who was smaller and more cheerful than this man in black. That strange gaze was felt vividly even in my state of being out of my mind. I couldn’t forget him even if I tried. During the time I was confined in this basement, no, even when I was wielding power in Chatis Kingdom, I had never seen such a person, so he left an impression.
“You don’t need to know.”
“…”
“What you need now is a foothold for revenge, isn’t it?”
That was right. What was important to me wasn’t the man with strange eyes whose face I couldn’t even properly remember. The man before me stood upright there and looked down at me. In the dark basement, dark green eyes shone clearly toward me.
“Find the Holy Grail, loser.”
“Holy Grail…”
“If you find the Holy Grail, you’ll be able to take revenge on that cowardly victor. Your country’s prosperity and eternal glory will shine above your head.”
“Where… is it?”
My sluggish voice from the drug’s effects irritated even me, but the man didn’t rush me.
“Connubium.”
“…”
“It’s in this Connubium where you are.”
The man who answered coldly like cool metal disappeared just like that. The dark basement where the man had vanished without a trace. Only I remained alone there once again, mulling over those words. Continuously. Until the sun rose the next day.
* * *
“Haaa…”
Jay barely lifted his heavy eyelids. His body felt especially heavy and tired today, as if it weighed a thousand pounds. Jay suspected that his body wasn’t made of blood and flesh but of lead. His body, unable to overcome fatigue, drooped like a withered plant.
His throat tickled as if he would cough, so Jay cleared his throat several times. But despite his condition being poor like this, since he wasn’t sick enough to take sick leave, he squeezed out his strength and got up from his spot.
“Did I sleep with the window open?”
Though it was early summer, it was still chilly, so if he had slept with it open, there was a possibility his body could deteriorate. But the window was tightly closed without a breath of wind passing through.
Jay sighed and drew back the curtain covering the window. The view of Connubium surrounded by hazy fog entered his sight. Unlike usual, the murky view made one’s heart anxiously churn.
“The fog is thick… Did it rain yesterday?”
Perhaps because of the humid air, he felt his organs growing heavy, so Jay closed the window again. On the wall coated with bright lime plaster, Belly in the form of a cute spotted lizard was stuck there, flicking his tongue. At Belly’s adorable appearance looking at him, Jay forgot he was even sick and smiled broadly.
“Belly-ya, *cough*, ahem… Why are you there?”
When he coughed lightly and held out his hand, Belly paused for a moment and looked Jay over. The way he tilted his head looked so adorable in Jay’s eyes that he wanted to hug him right away. Soon Belly pattered up onto his hand.
“The temperature control device is working fine, right?”
The necklace dangling from Belly’s neck was showing off a subtle red glow. Fortunately, it seemed it wouldn’t break despite its expensive price, so Jay was relieved.
In fact, since he could freely change his body temperature, a temperature regulator wasn’t necessary. But for the sake of Jay’s setup, Belly obediently wore the necklace around his neck.
Jay thought it was a temperature control device, but it was just a necklace Rose had prepared for him with a jewel added to it. Belly cherished and treasured that necklace.
After giving Belly a hearty breakfast including small pieces of ham, Jay busily washed up. After refreshingly washing with hot water, his heavy body seemed to lighten a bit, so he felt relieved.
I also thought it was fortunate since my body mustn’t collapse before I could properly enjoy the story. Jay Doe had to remain strong. For the sake of my life.
“Good.”
When Jay seemed to have finished preparing, Belly flicked his tongue once, then smoothly climbed up his arm and slipped right into the pocket of his top. With all preparations complete, Jay vigorously headed to the guidance room.
Regardless of the gloomy weather, Jay’s first half of the day was nearly perfect. The meals of the students under his care were ordinary and no particular problems occurred. Ivan’s face even had a bit of color to it. Jay busily ate breakfast while taking care of the students and went to class feeling reassured.
The class also flowed peacefully as usual. Jay, immersed in concentration, became absorbed in his own lecture and chatted enthusiastically.
“The incarnation of this flower was commonly used as a metaphor in ancient Garan Kingdom—”
*Thud…*
In the space where only Jay’s voice rang out passionately, far away, the sound of something collapsing was heard. Not just Jay, but the other students around him also seemed to have heard it, as anxiety appeared on their faces. The sight of cracks forming on faces that held artificial, doll-like smiles was human.
That was brief—since no sound rang out for a while, Jay felt relieved and tried to proceed with the class again.
“Incarnations are substituted with other beings—”
*CLANG!! CLANG!! CLANG!! CLANG!!*
Bell sounds so clamorous that the earlier sound seemed laughable rang out like thunder. All the students in the classroom immediately turned pale as ghosts and jumped up. They seemed to know about this situation that both I and Jay didn’t know about.
Jay couldn’t hide his bewilderment and looked around.
“Escape, someone must have escaped.”
Students who normally didn’t even converse exchanged glances with each other and stamped their feet anxiously. Jay urgently asked the students.
“What’s all this about?!”
“…”
Rather than answering Jay, the students pressed their lips shut and worked together to hide in the corners of the classroom. Students who couldn’t get into the corners crawled under desks.
Unable to get an answer, Jay eventually opened the classroom door and looked outside. There was no one in the hallway. Not students, not even professors.
*CLANG!! CLANG!! CLANG!!*
The bell was still ringing madly. It was an ominous sound like hundreds of crows crying out.
“No one’s here…?”
Jay, who had been checking by just sticking his neck out, stepped completely into the empty hallway and looked around. The bell sound that had been ringing enough to tear one’s ears had subsided somewhat. But the tension filling the building was ringing out as if gnawing at the air.
“They’re going that way!”
“Catch them!”
At that moment, urgent shouts rang out resoundingly.
