Like before, Ivan’s eyes became hazy as if dreaming. Then anger and resignation passed through in succession, leaving only ruins in his eyes.
Those who have been deeply wounded avoid relying on others. Because to them, everyone except themselves is an enemy and a danger. To Ivan, Jay’s kindness would feel like a sweet Venus flytrap.
“Rest a bit more before you go. You’re still staggering.”
“……No.”
But contrary to his words, Ivan couldn’t move easily. He looked as if heavy lead was attached to his legs. Jay thought he couldn’t move due to lack of strength, so he grabbed his arm, supported him, and sat him down in a chair.
“See? It’s hard to move. Rest a bit more.”
“Haah……”
Ivan let out a deep sigh and quietly stayed put without refusing Jay’s touch. He looked pitiful, like a dog that had aged considerably. Jay diligently wrapped a blanket around Ivan’s body and gently stroked the head of the docilely sitting man.
* * *
“Jay-Jay won’t think it’s strange, right?”
He rustled and fiddled with a candy wrapper. It was the wrapper of the grape candy Jay had given to Ivan.
Belly managed all my snacks. He especially liked feeding me snacks directly, and this candy was one of those types. Not a commercially sold candy, but one Belly made himself. The boy who used to make sweets by hand had now become skilled enough to make candy effortlessly.
Usually these things were unfamiliar to Jay rather than me, so I would thoroughly put them all away……
“How unusual for Belly to make such a mistake.”
“It was helpful, so it should be fine.”
Belly smiled gently. Without a single worry, he didn’t show any uneasy appearance. His innocent lamb-like appearance didn’t raise any thoughts. Rather, it was cute, as if I’d discovered a careless side of the usually perfect Belly.
“Well, that’s true. Anyway, that Ivan kid is so skinny…… Ugh, honestly I should have at least made porridge for him to eat. Or soup.”
Hearing my words, Belly gloomily tilted his eyebrows. The melancholy depth appearing on his handsome face was like a daffodil by a lake with dew on it. I hurriedly began checking on him at his gloomy appearance.
“What’s wrong, my Belly? Why are you making that face?”
“Master prefers those people more, don’t you?”
Whining like an innocent child wasn’t appropriate for a fully grown adult like Belly. But this appearance of Belly was familiar to me. Rather, that previous appearance……
‘Master, Belly…… me……’
That appearance of him rubbing his forehead against me obediently as if begging. That pitiful appearance when he couldn’t control his overflowing desire……
‘Please accept…… Hekkarkel……’
I shook my head left and right to shake off Belly’s voice that echoed in my ears like a reverberation. But that voice I wanted to forget clung persistently to my ears. I tried hard to ignore that voice and looked at Belly in front of me.
The sight of the tearful Belly was no different from when he was young, making my heart feel at ease.
“My Belly, were you upset? Because hyung only read books and didn’t play with Belly.”
Hearing my words, Belly embraced me with those thick hands of his as if acting especially spoiled. The cool body temperature of a reptile was warmed by the high body temperature of a human. It was as if each other’s bodies were melting and merging together.
“Yes. But Belly can endure it.”
“That’s right, good boy, good. How can our Belly be so pretty?”
I spoke affectionately as if coaxing a pet and caressed Belly. In the midst of that, I suddenly missed his true form. Usually he’s in the form of a small lizard or human, but originally he has a bigger form.
“Belly, I want to see your true form after a long time.”
At my whispered words, Belly smiled languidly. I instinctively flinched for a moment at his chilling smile like a satiated predator, then he soon lazily stroked down my spine.
As I relaxed my body at the gentle touch, my gaze was captivated by the black scales rising densely on his skin.
Since he was stopping the power that composed his human body and returning to his true form, Belly’s body writhed bizarrely. His bones creaked and protruded unevenly—it was a scene that would make someone with a weak stomach immediately jump up and leave. But that too was the appearance of Belly that I loved.
I looked down lovingly at Belly whose entire body was twisting. His soft human skin changed to the rough leather characteristic of reptiles, and his already large body approaching 2 meters became even longer, nearing 4 meters. Of that, 1 meter was occupied by his thick tail. His thick arms and legs became heavier and harder.
Despite his wild appearance, the characteristically short arms of a lizard were really cute. A long tongue flicked in and out from his fierce-looking face. The fact that his build had become so robust compared to when I first picked him up was gratifying.
“Oh my, our Belly. Really cute.”
Belly flicked his tongue silently and placed his face on top of my thigh. His body, which was heavy even in human form, became even heavier having returned to its original form. But I didn’t care and flopped down on the bed, spreading my arms.
“Come, get in hyung’s embrace.”
“……”
Belly, still flicking his tongue, slowly climbed onto my body. Normally, weighing over 150 kg, it would have been impossible for him to climb on top of my body. However, Belly was capable. Adjusting his own body weight wasn’t a difficult task for him.
If he couldn’t change the weight of his true form, others would have found it strange that he had such heavy weight in a human body.
Belly’s body, adjusted to about a human’s weight, was heavy but not unbearable. I enjoyed his weight that was suffocating to a degree. If I hadn’t liked it, Belly wouldn’t have made himself this heavy.
“Ahh, refreshing. It’s gotten a bit hot lately, so if you were furry it would have been hard to embrace you.”
“……”
“Of course, even if our Belly were furry, this hyung would have hugged and slept with you!”
As if answering my words, Belly flicked his tongue. That black skin was beautiful like obsidian.
I, tightly embracing him, began to doze off. Though I usually pretended to be fine, my body was gradually weakening due to the side effects of Persona. In my hazy consciousness, I heard Belly’s soft voice.
“For Master’s sake, I can do anything.”
That voice held undisguised passion. As if that wasn’t enough, he had already returned to human form and kissed my hand. That touch was heated, burning hot perhaps due to desire.
“Only for Master’s sake……”
Belly muttered like that and moved away from me. Since he always slept by my side, that behavior was extremely suspicious. I pretended to sleep, and when his presence completely disappeared, I quietly opened my eyes.
“……Belly?”
My loyal Belly who always stayed by my side wasn’t visible anywhere in the room. It was a first in my life.
* * *
The beauty of the desert is engraved in my body, in my bloodstream. The blazing sun. The flowing mother’s river. Each grain of sand shines like a jewel.
But since memories have no permanence, I, a loser of Chatis Kingdom, desperately recalled them over and over so as not to forget.
How joyful it was to run out barefoot, stepping on the sand. Even that burning hot sensation that scorched my skin was happiness to me. But now that was like a mirage I couldn’t grasp.
Where I am now is a damp underground made of hard bricks. There is no strong sunlight beating down, no river water to cool off in after running around drenched in sweat. Being trampled by hard boot soles in a dark corner where not even a ray of light comes down, my entire body becoming filthy with unidentifiable drugs—that was my miserable state.
“Kuh…… ugh…… Aaaahhh!!”
I couldn’t bear the scream boiling up from my stomach with rage. At the voice that sounded like my intestines were twisting, the professors came running again.
I banged my head hard on the ground. Unable to overcome my anger, I began self-harming. Though I thought it was foolish behavior, I couldn’t endure that act. All of this was truly disgusting and unbearable.
Though they had the titles of educators, of professors, their actions were no different from street thugs. None of the teachers who taught me behaved in this way.
I also didn’t like their action of designating me as D-rank. The very fact that those without any titles, no different from commoners, dared to define me was absurd.
But how could I protest? Now there’s nothing I can do. Because my half-brother, who ascended to the throne of the new Sultan of Chatis Kingdom, wishes it so.
The fortunate thing is that no one except Mother truly knows my abilities. Mother only put me forward enough to be moderately seen by the Sultan and receive praise. Because she thought of my abilities as a final trump card.
If others had known my true abilities, I would have already lost my life without even being able to come to this place. That’s why my half-brother firmly believed he could control me.
But…… having been thrown into hell while still alive, no one knows which would have been better.
“This damn……”
It was time for violence again. I didn’t cower but glared at the professors with blazing eyes.
The professors weren’t frightened and treated me coldly. From their perspective, not knowing my true abilities, I was just an arrogant beast not yet tamed. The kind to eventually be tamed or beaten down.
A fishy smile lingered around the professor’s blunt lips.
