Evan’s face, shaking off the hands of those trying to restrain him by pressing on his shoulders and arms, became soaked with tears in an instant.
Coco’s right there. My everything is right there.
Why…
Since they were hired to protect him, the strength holding Evan wasn’t very strong. Evan was helplessly swayed by their touch, which he would have easily shaken off normally.
Feeling Siwoo’s pheromones was as natural to Evan as breathing. Unless they were separated for a long time, Siwoo’s pheromones, which he couldn’t control, always enveloped him. Evan, who had always been showered with Siwoo’s pheromones, didn’t know what to do with the suddenly disappeared traces. His whole body trembled, and he couldn’t breathe properly.
The subtle and sweet plum scent that had always permeated the air he inhaled and exhaled had completely disappeared. Now that what was the reason for his existence and not an exaggeration to say was his everything had disappeared, Evan couldn’t think properly. It was a feeling he’d experienced long ago. But back then it hadn’t been this painful and difficult.
When time turned back after just one kiss, he’d simply thought they could meet again.
That was only possible because he didn’t know Siwoo that well. But not now.
Evan’s life was completely full of Siwoo, down to really trivial habits. He knew even the hidden meaning in small gestures that seemed to carry no particular significance. After learning that emotional synchronization happened between them, Siwoo had played many pranks.
He would call when Evan was at the company and not say anything. Siwoo, who kept silent for a short time, would hang up without even stating his business. On those days, Evan’s hands going home would be holding packaged food.
What he thought of just before Siwoo’s pheromones, full of confused and anxious emotions, cut off was himself.
Just like Jadu had.
What they sought just before both their pheromones disappeared was himself.
Evan, who had been pushed down by the security guards’ hands and knelt in front of the operating room, looked at his mother comforting him. The fact that there was nothing he could do. Evan’s face, afraid he might lose Siwoo without even being able to lift a finger, was deathly pale.
He wanted to open that door right now and go in, but he couldn’t do that for fear of facing the reality he was feeling now.
Evan could only stare blankly at his mother, who knelt together in front of him, stroking his wet cheeks and saying like a spell that it was okay, that nothing would happen, unable to say anything.
He couldn’t bring himself to say that their pheromones, which had faintly expressed their emotions, had disappeared.
He couldn’t say that only he knew that this itself meant something had happened to them.
No one knows. Siwoo was the only person in this world who fully recognized him. They were such existences to each other. The reason he wandered in the endless cycle of time, the reason he didn’t make a fuss about barging into the operating room he wanted to rush into right away, was all because of Siwoo.
It was because of Siwoo, who was very flustered and surprised but still believed it would be okay. Who was confused because he couldn’t know for sure what had happened, but still believed that himself, Jadu, and Evan would all be okay. He had been feeling all of Siwoo’s emotions that continued without breaking, though they seemed about to.
But.
If it disappears like this.
If both disappear without a trace, what do I do?
He couldn’t meet his mother’s eyes telling him it would be okay, to calm down. At the same time Evan’s anxiously shaking gaze reached the operating room, the operating room door opened.
Following Fayden who came out first, at the sight of the medical staff pulling out an incubator covered with cloth, Evan looked not at them but beyond them, inside the operating room.
Evan, who stood up using the hand of the security guard pressing down on him who had been rampaging until just now, touched the white cloth covering the incubator. Jadu’s lively pheromones had definitely disappeared. Though he couldn’t feel any of the familiar plum pheromones at all, instead it was because he could hear a baby’s small cry.
At the frail crying sound that seemed about to break at any moment, not loud and resonant, Evan’s hand gripping the cloth trembled palely.
“Jadu needs additional tests in pediatrics so…”
Before Evan could lift the cloth to check, the incubator containing Jadu was surrounded by medical staff and headed somewhere. Fayden’s words asking them to wait in the prepared hospital room rather than in front of the operating room, saying that since both Siwoo and Jadu were in critical situations they’d gone into emergency C-section and in Siwoo’s case additional treatment was needed, didn’t fully reach Evan.
Evan, who had been staring at the operating room, let out a long sigh while burying his face in both hands as the glass door closed. He was starting to feel Siwoo’s pheromones again.
For a moment he thought he’d lost everyone precious to him. Only after feeling Siwoo’s pheromones again, even faintly, could Evan breathe properly. Although it was an emergency situation so he couldn’t even see Jadu, and couldn’t know anything about Siwoo’s condition at all, just the fact that they hadn’t left his side was a situation that was far too grateful and overwhelming for Evan.
“Let’s wait in the hospital room like Fayden said. You need to get your forehead treated properly, change those clothes too—do you want to show Siwoo this appearance?”
“…”
At his mother’s words, stroking and comforting his arm, a sigh like a bitter laugh burst out again from Evan’s mouth as he slowly lowered his hands. He could see his hands stained with blood and the end of his white shirt dyed dark red.
“And they say you need to get examined too.”
Only then did his mother’s face, full of worry, enter his eyes.
“I’ll be fine…”
Evan, who was about to hug his mother, couldn’t finish his words due to the pain he suddenly felt.
* * *
Evan glanced once at the hospital room where Siwoo, who hadn’t yet woken from anesthesia, was, then sat on the sofa and received a tablet from his secretary.
Instead of his blood-stained shirt and suit, Evan, who had changed into comfortable indoor clothes, had bandages wrapped around both shoulders. They said that at the moment of the accident, he’d hugged Siwoo tightly and taken all the impact of the accident, cracking his collarbone. Fortunately in the misfortune, Siwoo didn’t have even a small bruise, and since he was under general anesthesia for the emergency C-section, they just had to wait for him to wake up.
Compared to the major accident where the paparazzi’s car that rammed into them was completely destroyed and the car Evan and Siwoo were riding in was half-destroyed, being injured only this much could be called a stroke of luck, but they had Jadu.
Jadu, born earlier than the due date, was alone in a small incubator. He’d heard that according to the urgent test results there didn’t seem to be any major problems, but the child who weighed only 1.5kg had to be alone in that small place for a while.
The moment Evan saw the sight of him alone, not in the warm embrace of his parents but with machines hanging all over that small body, he couldn’t say anything. They said he couldn’t even hold him. All he could do was watch Jadu struggling to breathe alone.
He didn’t know if it was because of the accident, but Jadu, who hadn’t even been born yet but had sprayed pheromones so strongly that everyone said he’d at least be a dominant alpha, had lost his pheromones. Though everyone believed without doubt he’d be an alpha, the test results determined Jadu to be a beta. Even while watching right in front of him, Evan also couldn’t feel Jadu’s pheromones.
They said that since Evan and Siwoo had traits close to mutations, they couldn’t be certain about Jadu either, and because he was too young, they couldn’t do a proper test. A bitter laugh flowed from Evan’s mouth listening to the doctor’s explanation. Does this mean we can’t be normal in anything?
Though he now considered it a blessing, the time he’d spent cursing the traits and situation he had was longer. He was afraid Jadu would walk that same path. It might be more comfortable if he was a beta as they’d just confirmed.
‘I hope our Jadu is ordinary. Right? It’s good now, but we had such a hard time. If our Jadu is like that too, I think I’ll be upset. So if Jadu says he wants to be a celebrity, I think I’ll stop him. It definitely seems like a waste of that appearance if he resembles you, but it’s not an easy profession.’
‘Since he’ll be born an alpha, he won’t be very ordinary?’
‘Since when he’s born, the family is a global conglomerate and his parents are us, it seems like being ordinary is already screwed. Plus if he’s an alpha and resembles you… Somehow I feel like I should apologize to Jadu in advance?’
Because he knew better than anyone what kind of heart Siwoo spoke those words with, when he said that if Jadu even came forward wanting to be a celebrity, he’d break his legs to stop him, he got scolded by Siwoo asking how he could say such a thing about breaking a child’s legs.
The visit with the small Jadu, who seemed like he could fit entirely in one hand, in a confused state, didn’t even last a few minutes. All he could do was listen to the doctor about Jadu’s current condition and see him in the incubator beyond the thick window.
Evan’s expression as he checked the news with a troubled heart, unable to get the small and fragile Jadu out of his mind, hardened more coldly than ever. To them, it was just gossip material. Even this accident that was like hell to them, they were chattering about so lightly and on their own.
Photos of them shopping that the paparazzi had taken while following them around, and photos of the accident scene. They were broadcasting without filter even the sight of him bleeding from his head while holding Siwoo and getting into another car.
Even the sight of them entering the hospital’s VVIP-only underground parking lot was all there. Since their condition hadn’t leaked out after that, all sorts of speculations were being attached. Countless articles mixing together all kinds of provocative words poured out.
Saying they would have been more seriously injured if it hadn’t been the car Evan had custom-made. Though they couldn’t know for sure, they were fearlessly laying out speculation that since Siwoo was pregnant, there might be problems with the baby.
“Make sure Siwoo can’t see them—take them all down. From this time on, I’ll somehow sue media outlets that do such articles or broadcasts, even if I have to exhaust my entire fortune.”
Not wanting to see any more trash-like articles, Evan turned off the tablet and sent out the lawyer and secretary he’d briefly called in.
