It’s easier when you let go.
Siwoo looked at Evan, who had his arms crossed with a serious expression as if solving a difficult problem, touching his chin with one hand.
Couple rings disguised as various designs of friendship rings were lined up side by side.
The employee in front was showing them one by one while explaining the designs, and seeing Evan nodding his head while listening to those words made Siwoo’s stomach ache.
Having lived for not a short amount of time, he wasn’t the type to be clueless.
So he could tell what Evan was thinking while committing this act right now.
Though they were filming, Evan and Siwoo were following a typical couple’s date course. Drinking beverages at a cafe, having dinner together, and the image of lovers drawing their future together while choosing couple rings.
If buying friendship rings like this aired on the broadcast, people would understand even if Evan and Siwoo consistently wore those rings.
He must be trying to pull off a “hiding in plain sight” strategy. Since friendship is the most convenient name to package things with.
“I’ll take the one on the left.”
Since they couldn’t keep doing this forever, Siwoo stated his opinion. Even if they were buying it under the excuse of broadcasting, shouldn’t he wear something he liked? Moreover, Siwoo truly loved accessories.
“This one?”
It was a silver ring without any patterns or designs. The only slightly unusual point was that you could put engraving and a small gemstone of your choice on the inside surface rather than the outside.
If he wore it now, Evan probably wouldn’t give him a chance to take it off. In that case, a simple design that would match with any ring was the most ideal.
“Yeah.”
When Evan picked up the ring he had chosen, Siwoo nodded his head.
But… why is this happening? Can’t I just wear my own ring, and you wear yours?
Not his right hand, but his left hand was caught in Evan’s grasp. And Evan’s hand holding the ring approached Siwoo’s hand.
If the camera hadn’t come closer to film this scene in detail, he almost would have been mistaken.
It’s filming, so why doesn’t it feel like filming? He needed to breathe, but he couldn’t breathe.
Why is my heart beating like crazy?
Evan’s fingertips headed not toward Siwoo’s ring finger but toward his pinky.
“……”
Only then did a breath-holding sigh flow softly from Siwoo’s mouth.
The ring was clearly too big for his pinky and slipped off, and this time Evan’s hand headed toward his ring finger.
“This would fit perfectly here.”
Rather than suffer from a crazily trembling heart and strange feelings, Siwoo decided to strongly overcome this situation. Taking advantage of the gap when Evan’s fingertips stopped in midair, he quickly inserted his index finger through the hole of the ring.
It was a stroke of genius that I didn’t wear rings on my pinky and index finger today. He had only been wearing rings on his middle finger and thumb on his left hand. In any case, he avoided putting a ring on his ring finger.
“See. The size is perfect too.”
Shaking off Evan’s hand that held his left fingertips, he directed his hand toward the camera to show the ring nicely positioned on his index finger. Then he moved his hand this way and that to make the ring clearly visible.
“Then which finger would suit Evanie well?”
Deciding to move before the situation became strange and the atmosphere became odd, Siwoo received the ring the employee offered with a brighter voice than usual. It was definitely bigger than the ring he wore. With a slightly furrowed brow, Siwoo looked at Evan’s hand, then soon handed the ring back to the employee.
“I think Evanie’s pinky would be good. Please give me a smaller size.”
It’s a friendship ring. Which finger it goes on didn’t matter. Since he doesn’t like accessories, putting it on his pinky seemed most ideal.
The slightly smaller ring the employee handed over soon settled on Evan’s pinky. Evan’s expression seemed to darken a bit, but Siwoo didn’t care at all.
“Oh! It’s pretty.”
The filming, which could be short or long depending on perspective, ended with them exchanging and putting on friendship rings. The two had to show their hands wearing the friendship rings to the camera while formally saying things like “let’s not change our friendship.”
‘Ocean Story’ pursued reality, but there was a very basic framework. Moreover, since today’s purpose was to become closer, they just had to show that they had become close.
Having finished greeting the filming team who had been with them until late, Siwoo swept back his hair that he hadn’t been able to touch until now for fear it would get disheveled. Daehwan walked ahead, and Siwoo walked alongside Evan, following behind him.
“Tired?”
After sweeping back his hair, Siwoo, who had been walking while lightly rotating his neck, looked at him with his head slightly tilted.
“I guess I was nervous because we filmed together just the two of us. If it had been the complete group, we would have had a lot of screen time, and then, though it shouldn’t be this way, I could have stayed a bit in the back, but I couldn’t do that today.”
After looking at him like that for a moment, Siwoo, who was walking following Daehwan again, laughed softly. It was because large hands grabbed his shoulders and kneaded them. Like playing train, Evan walked with both hands placed on Siwoo’s shoulders.
“Ah~ That feels good.”
When Evan pressed Siwoo’s shoulders firmly with his fingertips, neither ticklish nor painful, Siwoo released the strength from his body and entrusted himself to him.
“Feel good?”
“Yeah.”
Walking half by his own power, half by the force of Evan pushing him, Siwoo quickly climbed in when Daehwan opened the van door for them.
“Hand.”
After fastening his seatbelt, at Evan’s words immediately asking for his hand, Siwoo quickly looked around. It’s not like they’re alone and Daehwan is… He doesn’t seem to have gotten in the car yet, but soon he’ll be taking the wheel. Instead of answering, Siwoo quickly shook his head.
There is no perfect secret in the world.
No. There are perfect secrets. And currently, Siwoo was someone living with such a secret. It’s just that he didn’t say it, didn’t express it. No, he sometimes said it when drunk, but it was an absurd story that was completely unbelievable, so it was a truth buried as a secret.
A secret kept alone can be eternal, but a secret shared between two people could be revealed at any time.
And it’s said that the three things humans cannot hide are poverty, love, and sneezing.
With Evan, who had no intention of hiding anything at all, it was only a matter of time before they were caught.
“Hand.”
Whether he knew his feelings or not, Evan again asked him for his hand. The silver ring sparkled on the pinky of his left hand extended toward him.
“Why are you suddenly asking for my hand?”
The moment he said those words, the driver’s seat door opened and Daehwan hyung got in the car.
The moment the car door opened and closed and the flow of air inside changed, Siwoo’s nose twitched slightly. A scent he hadn’t noticed until just now suddenly hit him.
A sweet scent.
The moment he sensed that scent, his mouth filled with saliva.
And Siwoo’s head, which had been facing the window rather than Evan until now, turned toward him.
“Will you give me your hand now?”
Toward Evan, who was grinning, Siwoo extended his hand as if entranced. And onto Siwoo’s palm… a single plum dropped.
A single plum.
An insignificant fruit. In an instant, Siwoo’s eyes became moist. He bit his lower lip firmly with his teeth, but he couldn’t stop the trembling.
Even when someone asked if he was having a hard time, he always answered that he was fine. Even when asked if it hurt, he answered that he was fine.
After dancing for hours in the practice room, he would sometimes lie sprawled on the cold floor, gasping for breath that had risen to his chin. At those times, it was really hard. But on the other hand, it was refreshing and satisfying. Because the performance became more perfect the more he moved his body like that. So that kind of hardship was fine.
Of course there were times when it hurt too. Sometimes he caught colds, and he could suffer from muscle pain. But those things were fine too. He could take medicine and rest and get better. So it was fine.
But these emotions suddenly surging like a flood were not fine at all.
Things he had pressed down and down, ignored and covered up, surged up without restraint.
I miss him. I miss Evan.
He’s right in front of me, but I miss him. I miss the Evan who said he was my fan and recited my profile. I want to feel the Evan who handed me plums one by one and bought and left hangover soup for me. I wish the Evan who stroked little Ongi with his big hands and followed with his eyes as I moved around in the kitchen would be here.
I wish the Evan in front of me was that Evan.
I wish he also knew this memory that only I cherish.
It hurts too much to carry it alone for a lifetime.
“Coco.”
When he blinked, tears poured down his cheeks. He knew Evan wouldn’t understand him suddenly crying, but he couldn’t stop these tears. When the tears cleared for a moment, Evan’s face he saw had darkened completely. Well, it made sense if the person in front of you suddenly burst into tears.
The moment Evan reached for the plum again, Siwoo clenched his fist. He couldn’t let the plum be taken away. It was a plum Evan gave him, but he was afraid he would take it back again. Without hesitation, Siwoo brought the hand clutching the plum to his mouth. And pushed the plum into his mouth.
The moment he bit into it, a sweet yet sour taste filled his mouth. The cool plum juice was bitter. Too bitter. His throat was choked and it wouldn’t go down well, but Siwoo chewed firmly.
“Don’t do that. Please. Siwoo-ya.”
Even when Evan’s two large hands cupped Siwoo’s cheeks, Siwoo stayed still. While his small lips chewed, tears continued to fall whenever he blinked. Evan’s low, quiet voice reached Siwoo’s ears.
Emotional synchronization.
Siwoo very occasionally felt Evan’s emotions. They were so intense that they were difficult to handle. But recently there had been nothing like that. Since regressing, he hadn’t felt such intense emotions. He had felt like he could read Evan’s mood, but he hadn’t experienced such intense sharing.
“……”
The softly melting plum disappeared, and only one hard seed remained in his mouth. And similar to the plum gradually disappearing from his mouth, Siwoo’s tears slowly dried up. Siwoo closed his eyes. He felt a hot sensation as heat gathered in his eyes.
And when he opened his eyes, the first thing Siwoo saw was Evan’s crying face.
