Riding alone with Evan in his car was something Siwoo was used to.
As they drove through the night streets filled with dazzling lights, Siwoo rolled down the window. The sultry heat of the night rushed into the car that had been cool with air conditioning.
August. The night at the peak of summer couldn’t fall asleep easily. The riverside they passed was packed with people.
“It’s hot.”
“That’s why we’re releasing an album in the fall. Because I hate the heat.”
He wanted to keep the window open a bit more, but as the humidity-laden heat kept pouring in, Siwoo closed it. And hearing the reason they were releasing an album in the fall, he couldn’t help but laugh out loud. That explained it. Ocean always released albums in the fall or early spring.
Midsummer was their off-season. He thought the reason for releasing albums in the fall was to target the end of the year, but it wasn’t that at all—it was simply because they hated the heat. That really seemed like such an Evan-like idea.
It seemed like he was clear about what he liked and disliked. Whether he expressed it or not was just his personality. Most of the time, he didn’t express it.
“So you practice in the middle of summer?”
“The practice room’s air conditioning is cranked up.”
“But where are we going?”
Siwoo, who had been looking at Evan driving, looked down at himself. Having just been rolling around in the practice room until now, he was dressed in comfortable training clothes. His hair, which had gotten soaked with sweat and dried several times, was hidden under a ball cap.
On the other hand, the person next to him looked completely different from himself.
A suit in this hot weather—the dark navy suit with faint stripes suited Evan far too well.
“Somewhere we can quietly have a beer.”
“Look at our dress codes and say that. Let’s just buy beer and go to the dorm. Myunghun hyung will flip out if he finds out.”
“What’s wrong with the dress code?”
At Evan’s truly nonchalant words, Siwoo shrugged his shoulders.
“Looking at you, it seems like you should be drinking cocktails or liquor at a high-end bar, and looking at me, doesn’t it seem like I should be drinking beer or soju at a nearby street bar or at a table in front of a convenience store?”
Evan, who was wearing a long-sleeved shirt in this hot weather instead of even a short-sleeved one, seemed truly impressive. Though Siwoo knew he had undone a couple of shirt buttons without a tie because it was hot, because it was Evan, it rather looked like he’d dressed that way intentionally.
You’re consistently amazing.
Evan’s gaze, which had been on the road while driving, briefly touched Siwoo before falling away.
“Pretty.”
“…What?”
“I said you’re pretty.”
“That’s a compliment, right?”
Siwoo, who had slightly scrunched his face at Evan’s out-of-the-blue words, asked once more to understand his intention. Evan approaching him like this at unexpected moments was familiar yet awkward.
At this point, it was questionable whether this was his speech habit or if he really thought that way.
But Evan didn’t answer Siwoo’s question. And Siwoo’s eyes widened when he saw where the car that had been driving along the road was entering.
A hotel? Why? Why are we suddenly at a hotel?
Unlike Siwoo, who couldn’t say anything in bewilderment, Evan’s face was full of calm. Stopping the car not at the parking lot but in front of the hotel lobby, he handed the car keys to the staff member who approached.
“Hey.”
“You said you wanted to have a beer.”
No sooner had Evan finished speaking than the passenger door where Siwoo was sitting opened. Who would think of coming to a hotel to drink beer? With people’s gazes already directed here, hesitating would seem even stranger. Siwoo got out of the car, pressing his ball cap deeper to hide his face.
“I meant let’s comfortably have a drink at the dorm. Who said to come to a hotel?”
As soon as Evan approached him, Siwoo, clenching his molars, quickly spat out what he wanted to say in a small voice.
“Our Siwoo, want to try being a rapper this time? Your diction is pretty good even when you’re gritting your teeth.”
“Are you joking?”
“There’s a quiet place here. The night view is pretty too. If I’d said from the start we were coming here, you would’ve said you wouldn’t come.”
As Evan, who had been walking shoulder to shoulder with him, placed his hand on Siwoo’s waist and led him in the direction he wanted, Siwoo had no choice but to walk following him with his head down.
“Still…”
“Kim Siwoo.”
“What?”
“Just because we came to a hotel like this doesn’t mean everyone will recognize us.”
At Evan’s words, Siwoo’s steps stopped.
It was almost 11 o’clock. The hotel lobby was quiet.
What was I just thinking? Siwoo moved his stopped feet.
And Evan didn’t continue his words. Though not everyone would recognize them, there were already quite a few glancing looks. Perhaps he had intended this.
Same-age friends in the same group.
He wanted to break that mold.
“Just try having a bad atmosphere.”
When only the two of them got on the elevator, Siwoo’s small foot, still looking at the floor, lightly kicked Evan’s foot. Himself wearing sneakers and Evan wearing dress shoes.
Siwoo now was brighter than Siwoo before his regression. He was more proactive, bolder, and treated him more comfortably.
Evan put his arm around Siwoo’s shoulders. Then Siwoo, who glanced at him, moved his shoulder to shake off his arm. Whether it was this side or that side, Siwoo was Siwoo. His heart only beat for him.
When they stopped in front of the members-only lounge on a high floor, Siwoo’s fingertips lightly grabbed Evan’s clothes.
Twenty years old. An age where you can do anything, but perhaps an age where you don’t know much about the world. From eighteen, as a trainee, he would have only gone between the agency’s practice room and school. Instead of hanging out with friends and drinking all night just because they turned twenty, they still went between the practice room and broadcasting stations.
Wherever they went, a manager accompanied them, and now when they hadn’t fully established themselves as idols, it was no exaggeration to say they lived under the agency’s thorough surveillance. A regular bar would be awkward, but a hotel’s members-only lounge would be even more so.
“Hey, here…”
“Let’s eat something delicious, Siwoo-ya. You practiced a lot today.”
Stop hesitating. He wouldn’t waste time in vain again.
If it repeated, he would repeat the same thing again, but Evan intended not to miss any moment.
He clasped the hand that had grabbed his collar. The small hand with cold fingertips entered his hand.
He hated stuffy private rooms. Though he hadn’t made a reservation, fortunately the seat with the best view in the hall was empty, so they could be guided there.
“You…”
“Hm?”
Siwoo was about to say “Why is everything so natural for you?” but closed his mouth.
Like someone who had always been here. He knew Evan played various roles. But fundamentally, he too had been a trainee and spent a lot of time in the practice room and at the agency.
Like someone who had repeated the same situation several times, just like himself.
It was a truly nonsensical thought, but he suddenly had that thought.
The two sat side by side on a sofa facing a large panoramic window. There was a pillar next to them, blocking much of people’s gazes. In front of them were cold beer, fruit, finger foods, and the like.
But why is there only one beer glass?
Siwoo, who had been reaching for the beer glass, looked at Evan. Right now he was drinking cold ice water.
“I have to drive.”
“A designated driver…”
He couldn’t finish saying they should call a designated driver. The words to call Myunghun hyung didn’t come out easily either.
That was their situation.
“You drink it. I’m fine just resting like this.”
“I was going to drink together. What’s the point of me drinking alone?”
“Drink mine too for me. Ah! It’s not official, but if you ask, they’ll bring soju. Somaek?”
“What soju. Never mind.”
Siwoo picked up the beer glass. Since I regressed to twenty, there’s this good thing. If I were eighteen, I’d have to hold back on alcohol.
After being cooped up in the practice room practicing all day on a summer day, the beer you drink at the dorm was a delicacy among delicacies.
Right before debut, there were many cases where he couldn’t drink because of weight management, but with his thin build, Siwoo had never been stressed about weight management compared to other members.
“Ahhh… Refreshing.”
Siwoo, who gulped down two-thirds of it, put down the glass while lightly shaking his body.
“Good?”
“Yeah, I’m dying of how good it is. I’ll drink yours too, so don’t stop me.”
Evan surely wanted to drink too. Leaning his body fully into the plush sofa, drowsiness washed over him. As he said, the night view from here was incredibly beautiful.
And…
Siwoo, who had been blankly looking out the window with his body fully leaning against the sofa, slowly turned his head. And his eyes met Evan’s. He had thought he would be looking at the night view too.
Suddenly he remembered the beer they drank together sitting on the swing.
What had Evan wanted to say then? Overwhelmed by his own emotions, he had covered up what he was trying to say.
That night, filled not with this lighting that made the night beautiful but with nature’s light. Siwoo had left Evan alone.
“Do you have something you want to say?”
“…”
“I’ll listen to everything this time. Whatever it is, if it’s what you’re saying, I’ll listen to it all.”
Evan smiled softly. Then he tilted his head back and looked up. The only thing filling the space between them was the music flowing faintly.
Darkness settled in Evan’s green eyes. They really had various colors. His own eyes, close to dark brown, didn’t have such varied colors.
Evan was looking somewhere else, but as Siwoo’s gaze moved from his eyes to his nose, he straightened his body that had been leaning against the sofa and grabbed the beer glass. Clear droplets had already formed all over the surface of the cup.
“This time?”
Whether there had been time for just the two of them to talk like this, or whether there really had been a moment of rejection or not, he didn’t know. They’d spent quite a long time together, so hadn’t there been something like this?
Siwoo, who gulped down the remaining beer and put the empty glass down on the table, turned his body completely toward Evan and sat.
“Yeah. I rejected you last time.”
“Will you listen to the end?”
Unlike Siwoo, who was sitting perched on the edge of the sofa looking at Evan, he was sitting as if lying on the sofa with his body completely relaxed. What he was holding in his hand was clearly a glass with ice water, but he seemed drunk.
“Yeah.”
He took off the ball cap he’d been wearing pressed down and fixed his hair, then put on his hood instead of the cap to hide his messy hair.
“Even if it’s any kind of words?”
Unlike Siwoo’s light voice, Evan’s voice was low and quiet.
His gaze, which had been directed elsewhere, touched Siwoo’s face again.
Suddenly his mouth went completely dry. Siwoo, who swallowed the saliva pooled in his mouth, stuck out the tip of his tongue and slightly moistened his lips that seemed dry.
“Never mind.”
“Okay.”
Evan’s words saying “never mind” and Siwoo’s “okay” containing the promise to listen to whatever he said interlocked.
