When you’re young, going over to a friend’s house wasn’t such a big deal.
After school ended, you’d just throw your bag at home and rush over in a group, or go to a close friend’s house with your bag still on.
It was common to eat dinner at a neighbor’s house instead of with parents who were busy working.
It didn’t feel like this back then.
The table in the middle of the garden was piled high with delicious fruits and snacks. Five people sat around the space filled with various drinks including coffee, tea, and beverages.
Evan’s parents, Evan, Siwoo. And even the butler.
Siwoo lowered his hand under the table and wiped the sweat that had dampened his palm.
He wasn’t too surprised that Evan’s mother spoke perfect Korean, but even Evan’s British father and the butler—no one used English here.
“After you finish the CF and photoshoot in England, you’re going straight back to Korea?”
“Yes. We have to prepare for our second album.”
“It’s hard to see my son’s face.”
“That’s because you’re busier than I am, Mother.”
Ah, I miss Mom. What is our mom doing right now? Siwoo, who had been lost in his thoughts, lowered his head at the feeling of something touching his thigh.
When did you get here? Rush, who had been scolded by Evan and hadn’t shown himself for a while, was somehow sitting next to him, nudging his thigh with the tip of his nose again. And when their eyes met, those large pupils rolled around and pointed toward the biscuits on the table.
Are you asking me for those biscuits right now? Honestly, this place is incredibly suffocating for me. Even I’m having a hard time just sitting here?
“Siwoo-kun, is there anything difficult about your activities? The performances looked really tough.”
Siwoo, who had been exchanging looks with Rush, quickly raised his head at the mother’s words. And in any situation, he showed an artificial but most natural smile that he could now naturally pull off.
“I do it because I love it. I have to work hard.”
“It’s just that when I see Siwoo-kun after watching Yechan-kun or Evan, you really look like you’re going to flutter away. If you need anything, feel free to tell Evan anytime or tell your agency.”
“Yes. I will.”
How can she be so kind? Perhaps Evan was also kind and caring because he took after his mother’s personality.
“If all the members are here, why don’t you invite them over to the house one day?”
As the attention that had been focused on him briefly turned back to Evan, Siwoo swallowed a sigh inwardly and reached out to grab the glass of juice in front of him. My throat is parched, so parched.
“I’ll see with the schedule. It’s not like we all came to hang out together. Father’s doing well, right?”
Siwoo couldn’t pay attention to their conversation. As soon as he grabbed the juice glass, Rush proposed another secret deal from below. No, your whole family is here. Why are you doing this to me? Tell Evan.
“Rush. Why do you keep bothering Siwoo-kun like that? You can’t have the biscuit.”
He definitely thought it was an underwater operation happening under the table, but somehow the mother knew and pointed it out accurately.
“Ah, no. I think Rush is just playing around.”
Why am I defending this family’s dog here?
“I’m glad both Rush and Roxy like Siwoo-kun. If you ever come to England, feel free to visit anytime even if Evan isn’t here.”
Siwoo replied with a smile instead.
He couldn’t tell how tea time passed. Rush, who had kept touching his thigh, must have given up because later he just placed his head on Siwoo’s thigh and stayed still.
They exchanged words asking about each other’s well-being and briefly talked about their activities.
After Evan’s parents got up first, Siwoo stretched his body long in the space where only the two of them remained. It was early July but not too hot, and the sunset sky was incredibly beautiful.
“I should go now, right?”
Siwoo, who had been stroking Rush’s head, looked at Evan, who was sitting cross-legged drinking tea.
“You should.”
“This house is really pretty. I wanted to see the horses too.”
“There are horses, and there’s a lake. You can come whenever you want.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Mother gave you permission too.”
“You’re so easy.”
Swinging his long stretched-out legs, Siwoo chuckled. If it were an ordinary house that Siwoo knew, he would answer ‘That’s great, I’d love to,’ but this place was the most difficult place for him.
The parents welcomed him warmly, and even the animals liked him, which was nice, but that was only possible because he was a group member.
“It’s not easy at all.”
“Are you joking? What’s difficult for you? You can write lyrics and compose. You can dance. You’ve got the visuals. Your background is solid. On top of that, you’re an alpha. A golden alpha. You have the whole world. Wow~ Now that I say it like this, the world is really unfair.”
Siwoo grabbed Rush’s face and played around, rubbing and messing with it. He was so scary at first, but it was an unnecessary prejudice. Like this, hmph. Like that, hmph. Even getting slapped by Roxy, hmph. He was the kind who didn’t care even if his face got squished right now.
“Then. Do you want to have it?”
As light as Siwoo’s words were, Evan’s answer was equally light. Still smiling, Siwoo glanced at him. How long had he been looking like that? He hadn’t noticed while playing with Rush. Unlike his light tone, Evan’s face looked more serious than ever.
“What would I have? Can you have something just because you want it? That kind of thing?”
“You just have to have me. Then all those things follow as extras. You have me.”
“You know that’s a really weird thing to say, right?”
“I know.”
“If you know, that’s enough. Let’s go now. What are you filming tonight?”
“Episode.”
When Siwoo got up and walked, Rush stuck right next to him as if escorting him. Today seemed like it would be remembered as a really strange day.
* * *
“Evan’s in room 3, Siwoo in room 4. Unpack and gather in room 1 by 7 o’clock.”
As soon as they entered the hotel with Evan, Jaehyung, who came out to greet them, started explaining what to do in the evening. After filming a simple episode, each person would handle dinner on their own with room service. He said they’d wake up at 7 a.m. tomorrow morning for a photoshoot.
Receiving the room card from Jaehyung and entering room 4, Siwoo stared at his suitcase that had arrived before him. It’s a room for one person, but why are there two single beds? Without even taking off his clothes, he collapsed onto one of the beds.
If there had been only one bed, he couldn’t have rolled around in his outdoor clothes, but since there was another bed, he carelessly went ahead with such behavior. The soft bed bounced and stopped, and the clean ceiling came into view.
His body, which had suffered through the long flight and stayed tense at Evan’s house, finally relaxed languidly. Let me just lie down like this for 30 minutes and then go out. Unpacking or anything wasn’t that important.
“Hyung.”
But the rest Siwoo wanted didn’t last very long. Along with the doorbell, Yechan’s voice was heard. Siwoo staggered to open the door, then immediately turned his body and lay down on the bed again. Then he raised one arm to cover his eyes and block out the light.
“Are you okay?”
How many times have I heard the question ‘are you okay’ today? Although he didn’t answer, Yechan calmly pulled over a chair from the bedroom and sat next to him.
“Nothing happened, right?”
“Should something have happened?”
“No. It’s just that I was worried because they said you and Evan hyung went somewhere together. Where did you go and what did you do?”
“Evan’s house.”
“Whoa.”
“Whoa?”
“Totally whoa. The two of you fought like that a week ago. You made up! Ah. That was really a good idea. Evan hyung is kind of cold and by-the-book, but when he does something, he does it properly.”
Siwoo’s eyes, which had been lying down weakly, opened. Evan is what? He couldn’t understand what Yechan was saying at all. Ocean’s discord. Was the discord between Evan and him real? Not just something the fans felt, but real? That’s what Yechan was saying right now.
“Yechan, your words are a bit…”
He was about to say ‘too harsh’ but closed his mouth. In this situation, he couldn’t take anyone’s side or speak rashly.
“It’s not anything else, but ‘Lucifer’. That one, hyung should do it. I think it’s right for hyung to do it.”
Siwoo slowly removed the arm that was covering his eyes. Then he sat up abruptly.
‘Lucifer’. The next album song is ‘Lucifer’? ‘Lucifer’ was obviously Evan. There was no more perfect ‘Lucifer’ anywhere.
He recalled Evan’s dark green eyes, dressed perfectly in black from head to toe. And thinking of the wings as tall as him gave him goosebumps even now.
That performance was talked about for a long time and became the opportunity to perfectly introduce the name Ocean and Evan’s existence.
“Lucifer is Evan. What are you talking about?”
“Even after fighting with Evan hyung like that, you’re still saying that? You two turned the practice room upside down telling each other to do ‘Lucifer’. Wow. Even now when I think of Evan hyung’s back as he suddenly stood up and left in the middle of the fight, I get chills. Didn’t you two resolve that today?”
“…But why are you suddenly saying I should do ‘Lucifer’? Look at the song and the atmosphere. It’s totally Evan.”
His head was pounding, so Siwoo clenched his fist and tapped his head.
“I talked with Jaehyung hyung earlier, and this morning Evan hyung also said you should do it. But he said my name came up there too. Anyway, it’s not me. It’s right for either you or Evan hyung to do it. I admit it would be really cool if Evan hyung did it. But I want to see hyung do ‘Lucifer’.”
“Let’s talk about that again when we have the full meeting. My head hurts.”
It’s not something he could decide alone. It’s something that needs to be discussed in detail during the concept meeting, and in a way, it’s not even something an individual member could say they would or wouldn’t do. They’d reach an agreement as much as possible, but the agency’s decision was the biggest part.
“Okay. See you in a bit.”
After Yechan left and the door closed, Siwoo collapsed back onto the bed.
This wasn’t the time to worry about his relationship with Evan. He was a member of Ocean, and adapting to the path of being a top idol that he hadn’t even imagined came first.
