The two of them were still holding hands. Michael gazed endlessly at Hyungoh with half-closed eyes as Hyungoh stared blankly at the floor.
Hyungoh remained silent even after hearing everything. Time continued to pass.
“What are you thinking about, Choi?”
Their clasped hands trembled slightly. When Hyungoh turned his face away, Michael held on more tightly, but the anxiety was evident in their misaligned gazes.
“…I’m trying to get some sleep.”
“Don’t go.”
When Hyungoh, unable to bear it any longer, pulled his hand away and walked toward the door, Michael hurriedly raised his upper body and quickly put his feet on the ground.
“Ah.”
He had forgotten that his swollen leg was wrapped in a wooden splint and bandages. Ignoring the pain, he tried to walk but ended up collapsing helplessly. Hyungoh rushed over to him.
They almost tumbled to the floor together, but somehow managed to change direction and fall onto the bed instead. Michael, now sprawled out with his back arched, stared blankly at the ceiling for a moment before quietly embracing Hyungoh, who was already holding him.
“Thank you, Choi.”
“……”
“Choi?”
Michael tried to pull away out of concern for Hyungoh, whose body had gone stiff, but Hyungoh stubbornly refused to let go.
“Are you okay?”
“……”
The question shifted from concern to puzzlement. Hyungoh, his face buried in Michael’s broad chest, moved his lips as if about to answer.
“Why did you do something so stupid?”
His hands tightened around Michael’s waist with a hint of tension.
“Why did you suffer alone like that……”
Damn it. There was a metallic taste from his tightly clenched lips. Michael’s waist had become much thinner. Even the hands that embraced him back felt fragile, as if he might faint at any moment.
This was Michael, who had thrown himself into danger multiple times to save him. Just to save me.
Hyungoh found him both frustrating and pitiful. Why didn’t you explain everything earlier? If you had, neither of us would have been so broken. Such harsh words circled in his mouth, but he couldn’t bring himself to say them, wondering if he would have believed Michael anyway.
I hate you, Michael.
Only after facing the truth did Hyungoh deeply regret all his words and actions. While Michael had been desperately trying to save him, Hyungoh had been busy resenting and hurting him, ignorant of that fact.
Ah, I’m still as selfish as before.
Forgetting unfavorable memories because they were too much to bear, and then blaming others and shifting responsibility once those memories returned.
I used to despise those who wallowed in self-pity, yet I’ve been doing the same. While I was immersed in my own circumstances, thinking they were too tragic to bear, Michael, who desperately needed help, was left alone and neglected.
“…I’m sorry.”
You’re still worrying about me more than yourself. Hyungoh looked at Michael with a guilty expression as Michael gently rubbed Hyungoh’s reddened eyes.
“You have nothing to be sorry for, Choi.”
“I made you feel even more alone.”
“……”
“I should have believed in you, if no one else did.”
Hyungoh’s hand traced along Michael’s dry, parched lips.
The confused feelings Hyungoh had experienced since seeing Michael jump into the river after him had finally stabilized. He now had enough courage to face the terrible reality of his parents’ deaths.
Was it the cold river water that brought him back to his senses? No, perhaps it was Michael’s sincerity that finally reached him.
“I… I won’t run away anymore either.”
His eyes, clearer and more sparkling than ever before, held a firm resolution. It was time to finally end the aimless, confused life he had been leading without a purpose.
“Let’s struggle together.”
At that moment, Michael abruptly sat up. His face seemed to be regaining some vitality as Hyungoh looked up at him.
“Together?”
“Yes, together. Michae—”
Before Hyungoh could finish his response, Michael’s lips—slightly rough yet soft—came down on his. Surprised by the sudden kiss, Hyungoh pushed him away, his face turning red.
“Suddenly, wha-what…!”
Those dilated pupils couldn’t have been more captivating. Perhaps because he had lost weight, Michael’s features seemed even more pronounced, and his glistening, crimson lips stirred something instinctual in Hyungoh.
Suddenly, Hyungoh recalled how he had defined his feelings for Michael when he first arrived at the Gostin mansion.
Hadn’t he called it love born from a sense of sameness? He had asserted that there would be no sexual element to those feelings, since they cherished each other to the point of seeing themselves in one another.
“…Sorry, Choi.”
After gauging Hyungoh’s unfavorable expression, Michael loosened his grip. Had he been too hasty? Hyungoh had not only understood him but had even suggested they struggle together, making Michael unable to contain his joy.
As Michael began to pull away, Hyungoh instinctively grabbed the back of his head. His body had reacted before his thoughts could catch up. He pressed his lips against Michael’s, just as Michael had done to him, while Michael blinked his long eyelashes.
I said I wouldn’t desire you. Hyungoh frowned as he recalled his past thoughts. In truth, hadn’t he harbored these feelings even back then? Perhaps that’s why he had denied them so desperately.
But now he had no choice but to acknowledge them. There were no more secrets between them, and above all, they were both prepared to embrace each other’s wounds.
