With his lower lip trembling from overwhelming emotions, Siwoo, who was struggling to steady his shaking body, couldn’t even breathe. And he slowly lowered the hand that had been covering his eyes.
The small stand lamp he had turned on to do a live broadcast was barely illuminating the study.
Evan, leaning against the study door, was soaking wet. Rainwater flowed down his face from the ends of his wet hair, dropped onto his broad shoulders, and the floor where he stood was getting wet.
“Because I can’t live without you.”
It was a small murmur. Evan repeated the same words.
“You were strange from the beginning.”
“I know.”
“It’s you! This right now! This scent I’m smelling. It’s not always there. It was fine just a moment ago, but now I can smell it again. It’s like peppermint, I mean, it feels cool, anyway, there’s no way this kind of smell would be in my room. Is it you?”
Seeing Evan nod slightly, Siwoo ran his hand through his hair.
It couldn’t be, but he had clearly said it. That he knew his pheromones.
“Then at the amusement park, that was because of you too?”
Once again, Evan’s head moved up and down.
“Just now too?”
Siwoo’s voice gradually became smaller.
Evan didn’t move his head. Instead, he took a step toward him.
When Evan approached a couple of steps, Siwoo stepped back by the same amount.
“Stop right there.”
When his back touched the wall, Siwoo raised his hand to stop him from approaching.
“I’ll bring warm water. I think you should rest for now. I’ll tell you everything. As much as you want, as much as you want to hear. I’ll tell you everything I know. Siwoo, just wait a moment.”
Unlike himself who was anxious, felt like he was going crazy, and frustrated, Evan seemed to have plenty of composure.
Rest? Once I escape from this surging emotion, I won’t ask anything. I won’t say anything. So it has to be now or never.
“What are we to each other?”
Siwoo swallowed the saliva pooling in his mouth and asked what he had wanted to ask and confirm all along.
“I’ll bring water.”
“If you turn your back on me right now, I’ll never see you again.”
Why am I saying this? His lower lip trembled and he felt like he would burst into tears, so Siwoo bit down hard on his lower lip. There wasn’t even a week left until his enlistment.
It was something he had chosen and something he had to do.
It must have been himself who had turned away, ignored, and perhaps left it alone until it grew this big.
He had thought it was okay to feel these emotions at least once and had tacitly allowed it.
The moment he saw the dating rumor, he realized how stupid and foolish he had been.
He hated his foolish self. The pain and hardship from it were entirely his own.
He had been kind and gentle, and he had let him seep into his life like that.
Until this afternoon, he had been in heaven, but now he was in hell.
For him, an Alpha, an Omega lover was right. Not a Beta.
Though there were many negative comments about the sudden scandal, generally people were acknowledging and accepting the feelings of the young man and woman. Rather, they were more curious about their secret romance. Curiosity had kicked in about what celebrity dating was like.
“Siwoo.”
“Speak.”
Hesitation. He was hesitating right now. Why was hesitation necessary to define our relationship?
“I like you.”
“That’s the wrong answer.”
Siwoo denied the words flowing from Evan’s mouth.
“Today’s dating rumor was deliberately spread by the company to block Yuri’s assault scandal. There’s a press conference tomorrow morning at 10 AM. I’ll say everything then. And our relationship, I’ll say it again.”
“I’m going to the military.”
“You can’t go.”
You can’t go. You can’t go. Siwoo couldn’t help but chuckle at Evan’s firm words.
You’re a British citizen, so you don’t have the duty of national defense, but I do. It’s not something you can decide.
“There’s less than a week left.”
“Still, you can’t go. I’ll make it so.”
“Evan. Don’t like me. I don’t like you.”
The emotions that had been surging at his stubborn, childlike words suddenly settled coldly in an instant.
That’s enough.
If he had even the slightest feeling of liking him, that was enough.
At least if the smiles he gave him were sincere, if the time they spent together was enjoyable, that was enough.
Just in case I’m saying this. I’m saying this because I’m afraid your feelings might grow bigger.
Because you can’t call someone a true friend if you turn a blind eye and leave them as they go down the wrong path.
I think I can handle liking and hurting alone.
I’ll do that, so just don’t like me.
“At least come visit me.”
Taking a deep breath in and out to gather his remaining emotions, Siwoo reached out and tapped Evan’s shoulder, which was blocking his way.
“Kim Siwoo.”
“Don’t make such a serious expression. Honestly speaking, you have a really handsome face, but it doesn’t work on me. I asked to make it clear. We’re friends. So don’t come looking for me on rainy days like this, and don’t say things like date or whatever anymore.”
Trying to create a light atmosphere and move aside, Siwoo ended up trapped between him, who had stepped closer, and the wall. With his hand pressed against the wall and his upper body bent as he approached closely, Siwoo had to turn his head to avoid his face.
“You’re saying we’re friends? Really friends?”
Evan’s low voice lingered in his ear.
“If we’re not friends, there’s no reason to be together.”
Lowering his gaze, Siwoo looked at the lamp on the desk. The orange light looked so beautifully diffused.
“Siwoo. I want you to like me. I want you to love me. Just as I do, I want it to be that you can’t live without me either. Even if the same situation repeats, I’ll be the same. What should I do for you to like me? I feel like I’m going crazy from frustration, so please teach me. Please.”
It was too close.
Close enough to hear the sound of his pounding heart.
Siwoo couldn’t give him the answer he wanted. Because he had already taken his heart. He already liked him and loved him, and it would be the same no matter how many regressions he repeated.
“Evan. I think anyone but you would be fine.”
The sharp words disguised with forced indifference didn’t cause Evan great pain.
If he hadn’t known anything, he might have been frustrated, hurt, and struggled. But right now, Siwoo’s pheromones were saying something completely different.
He had known from the beginning.
In Siwoo’s pheromones that flowed out naturally like breathing, his emotions were completely revealed. From the moment he was surprised to see him at the airport on the day they first met until this very moment.
It wasn’t that he had tried to peek. Whenever they were together, his feelings were naturally felt completely.
Along with the sweet and fresh plum scent that was sweet enough to make him lose his mind.
However, he couldn’t understand why he was trying so hard to fold it away, why he was trying to give up.
The more that happened, the more he tried, and tried not to burden him.
But at the end of that, what Siwoo chose was denial.
Moreover, that his chosen escape was the military.
“Coco.”
Evan lightly grasped Siwoo’s chin, who was trying to avoid him. And he slowly, little by little, turned him to look at him.
“Don’t run away.”
The tips of their noses touched.
He was trembling. Siwoo was anxious and conversely, excited.
He placed his lips over the slightly parted, moist, sweet lips. And he took out the words he had been hiding all along.
“Kim Siwoo, you’re an Omega. A Hidden Omega. My Pair.”
<End of Part 1>
