Three days after Cheon Jaekyung enlisted, Lee Hyeonseok moved again. I went along to the new house as well. Having suddenly felt a psychological distance in a world I was adapting to well, I quietly followed along without much to say.
The place we moved to was a country house with a large yard. It was spacious enough to raise a dog, so I really wondered if he was going to raise something. But Lee Hyeonseok never brought a dog. However, he told me that if I felt stuffy inside the house, I could come out to the yard.
I had dreamed at least once of living in a country house with a large yard. Though I never thought I’d actually end up living in one. Especially a country house like the kind chaebols in dramas or movies would live in. You really never knew how a person’s fate would turn out.
At first, I had no interest in the yard. Then I happened to see a TV program about decorating gardens. The garden decorating I started with that small interest had now become quite worth seeing.
The small mini pond in the middle was done with a professional’s help, but the flower beds decorated with roses, daffodils, crocuses, and such I grew directly with my own hands. A smile naturally appeared at the sight of the flowers I’d carefully grown from seeds blooming vibrantly while brimming with life. I was quite proud of my creation that had about a year’s worth of dedication put into it.
“Becoming a gardener wouldn’t be bad either.”
The thought that suddenly came to mind while looking at the garden I’d decorated over about a year came straight out of my mouth without passing through my brain.
About a year had passed since we moved to this country house with a large yard. Since we’d decided to date, I’d thought Lee Hyeonseok would quickly tire of me, but surprisingly he was still fond of me and keeping me around. Life really was unpredictable.
“Seo Jiwoo-nim, the CEO is looking for you.”
What brought me back to my senses as I watered the flower bed indifferently, lost in thought, was Sim Hyeokjae-ssi, one of the guards in this house. Even though we’d been seeing each other’s faces continuously since I moved here, he seemed to have no intention of treating me comfortably at all. No matter how much I asked him to call me ‘-ssi’ instead of ‘-nim,’ he stubbornly stuck with ‘-nim’ and used honorifics.
“…Yees, I’ll go now.”
Setting aside his behavior of always acting stiffly, I was puzzled that Lee Hyeonseok, who said he’d be late today, was coming home during the day. Since there was no way the guard would answer even if I asked why he came at this hour, I just answered halfheartedly.
I put down the watering can and headed inside the house.
“Are you alright?”
“……”
My feet grew heavy, not wanting to face Lee Hyeonseok. As I walked slowly, Sim Hyeokjae asked somewhat anxiously. He seemed to have mistaken that my walk had slowed because my ankle hurt. Too lazy to clear up the misunderstanding one by one, I roughly nodded and threw open the door.
“He’s waiting at the dining table first.”
“Yes…”
When I entered the house, the ajumma who’d newly arrived a week ago guided me to the kitchen with a blunt voice.
“Looks like you’re finally doing a bit better?”
Upon entering the kitchen, Lee Hyeonseok sitting in a chair caught my eye. On the table were fish good for bones, anchovies, and tofu dishes.
Lee Hyeonseok, who hadn’t picked up his spoon yet as if waiting for me, suddenly picked a fight. Not knowing how to respond, I hesitated and glanced at the back of his hand. Even just four days ago he’d been wearing a bandage, but today it was clean without anything on it.
“…Mmm, you seem to be doing well too.”
“Ha.”
I thought I’d spoken rather carefully, but Lee Hyeonseok let out a hollow laugh as if dumbfounded. Pretending not to hear, I sat in a chair, and he picked up his chopsticks without a word. Even without an appetite, I had to eat. Lee Hyeonseok was the kind of person who would shove dog food at me if I didn’t eat.
I picked up my chopsticks and picked up an anchovy, nibbling on it. It tasted good, but my appetite didn’t return.
“You’re good with chopsticks.”
Lee Hyeonseok kept trying to get under my skin, dissatisfied about something. They say even dogs aren’t disturbed while eating, but I felt like I’d get indigestion.
“While someone had to use a fork instead of chopsticks all week thanks to someone else.”
“Uh… mm…”
“Well, you should at least be good with chopsticks when you can’t do anything else.”
I just fucking wondered what he wanted me to do. Should I shed some tears here, or should I act like I’m hurt? He had so much money yet came home just to act crazy. Not knowing what to do, feeling awkward, I just carefully tried to pick up some rolled egg, and Lee Hyeonseok scoffed.
“You really eat well even after hearing such words.”
I needed stomach medicine. I felt like I’d get gastritis from stress. I was gradually seeing Lee Hyeonseok as someone with a predetermined answer. I wished he would just directly tell me if he wanted a specific answer or action. If only he would, I’d practice and act satisfactorily. Ugh, my stomach.
“Thank you for the meal.”
I eventually decided to get up from my seat, feeling like I’d get indigestion if I kept eating. I put down my chopsticks, gave a perfunctory greeting, and tried to quietly get up, when Lee Hyeonseok hardened his face and growled.
“Where are you going without finishing? Do you prefer dog food?”
Does he really have a problem with mood swings? Could it be bipolar disorder? If there’s a problem with his mind, he has plenty of money, so it would be nice if he went to the hospital for treatment.
“I will eat well.”
Still, I sat back down without a word. This time I picked up a spoon and started eating rice. I was silently chewing only rice to the point where it wouldn’t be strange to say I was forcing it down, when Lee Hyeonseok, who indeed had a problem with mood swings, suddenly stood up from his seat. His face looked angry enough that it wouldn’t be strange if he flipped this table right now. Displeased, irritated. It seemed he was planning to go truly crazy in earnest.
“Nothing to say?”
“……?”
“…Fuck.”
When I kept my mouth shut and only stared at Lee Hyeonseok, scared of what crazy thing I might see if I said something wrong again, he opened his mouth as if about to say something, then closed it. Lee Hyeonseok cursed and left the living room.
“Phew…”
The suffocating air became a bit more comfortable. Even as I let out a sigh of relief, I worried whether Lee Hyeonseok would come back, but instead of returning footsteps, I heard the front door slamming roughly shut.
Had I been tense? I ended up dropping the cup I’d been holding to wet my throat. When the sound of glass breaking was heard, the ajumma and the guard came running. They checked and asked if I was hurt anywhere.
“Are you alright?”
“Yes. Ah, I’ll clean it up.”
“No. I’ll clean it up.”
“Yes…”
Before I could even reach out, the ajumma started picking up the broken glass first. Even when I, startled, tried to stop her, the ajumma was firm.
I obediently answered and got up from the chair, heading to my room. The inside of the house was pleasant and spacious, but for some reason, it felt like I’d suffocate to death.
“Seo Jiwoo-nim.”
“Yes?”
The moment I moved my feet toward the stairs to go up to the second floor, the guard called me from behind.
“The CEO said to make sure to eat your meals.”
“Ah, yes…”
So that’s what it was—a message to eat everything without leaving food. I had no appetite and didn’t want to eat either. But I recalled how he’d given me dog food when I hadn’t eaten for two days.
I returned to the kitchen feeling utterly dejected and sat in the chair. Perhaps the broken glass had been cleaned up quickly, as the floor and table were clean.
“If you don’t like the side dishes, shall I make you something else?”
“No, it’s fine.”
“Just say the word, I’ll make you anything.”
“Haha…”
Perhaps seeing me nibbling looked like complaining about the side dishes, as the ajumma gently coaxed me. I shook my head and refused, saying it was simply a matter of appetite, but the ajumma in her own way burned with enthusiasm and wouldn’t back down. When I showed my refusal with a tired smile, only then did she stop saying anything more and stepped back.
Both the ajumma and the guards, while acting stiffly, strangely felt sorry for me. I just found their gazes burdensome. Those gazes were understandable though. If I were them, I would have had such gazes too.
About 3 weeks ago, Lee Hyeonseok and I, who had been getting along relatively well, fought. A huge fight at that.
I still can’t accept the reason. Because we two fought over the fact that I went out.
Three weeks ago, I suddenly wanted to go out. It was natural if it was natural. Excluding going to the research center every month and occasionally going to the hospital after accidentally hurting Lee Hyeonseok, I hadn’t properly gone out in over a year and a half. My lethargy was the main reason, but reading Lee Hyeonseok’s mood because he wasn’t pleased about it also played a part.
Then, from two months ago, omega suppressants finally became commercially available. Though they were expensive, that wasn’t something I needed to consider immediately. Lee Hyeonseok, who seemed reluctant to give me suppressants, perhaps because my behavior of acting relatively obedient all this time paid off, or because I’d been more listless lately, gave me the suppressants halfheartedly when I kept whining and acting cute.
The drug’s effect was tremendous. Though it was harsh and difficult, I could maintain my reason even during heat. Having spent my first heat relatively lightly, passing it like getting over a bad cold, I gained confidence that social life would be okay if I had this medicine.
After safely passing through my heat and recovering my body’s energy, I was seized by another strange impulse. Since Cheon Jaekyung was in the military, and both the Cheon Jaekyung household and Lee Juwon’s side seemed uninterested in me, I thought it would be safe to go out now.
Having made my judgment, I attempted to go out after saying “I’ll be back in a bit” in a voice quiet enough that no one would hear, while everyone in the house briefly took their eyes off me.
I had no particular destination. I just thought I’d loiter outside the door briefly or drop by a nearby market or convenience store. However, less than a minute after stepping outside the door, a guard came to catch me, and Lee Hyeonseok, who’d been contacted in the meantime, also returned home in 20 minutes.
I was irritated. At Lee Hyeonseok for blocking my outing. There were suppressants, and he’d sent Cheon Jaekyung to the military. Without reading his mood, I suddenly raised my voice and attempted to protest.
‘What’s the problem this time!’
Lee Hyeonseok, who would normally have been annoyed, looked down at me expressionlessly. That’s when I thought ‘oh crap.’
