No matter how much Lee Hyeonseok bothered me, I silently made egg tarts. When I kept ignoring his words, perhaps getting tired of it, Lee Hyeonseok went to do his own work. I was slightly anxious since I was making them after a long time, but the egg tarts were completed deliciously.
After finishing the packaging, I went into the room and looked for stationery. No matter how much I searched, there was no stationery. In the end, I thought about asking Lee Hyeonseok, but hearing the sound of water from the bathroom in the room, it seemed he was showering. Instead of looking for stationery, I neatly tore out a page from my diary and carefully filled in the content. I decided to recycle the letter envelope Cheon Jaekyung had given me.
“What.”
“Huh? Ah, perfect timing. Can you deliver this to Cheon Jaekyu—, hey!”
Lee Hyeonseok, who had just finished washing up, approached me closely as I was carefully folding the torn paper and putting it in the letter envelope. Since I wasn’t confident in delivering it directly anyway, I was planning to ask Lee Hyeonseok, so I spoke without any worries, but Lee Hyeonseok snatched my letter envelope and took out the paper to read it. I tried to stop him in a somewhat agitated voice, but he didn’t even pretend to listen.
“‘To Cheon Jaekyung-nim.
I have received the letter you sent well. I fully understand your anger. However, there is something I hope you will remember and acknowledge.
First, it was Cheon Jaekyung-nim who threw hands first; second, I was never intentional; and third, I was not in my right mind that day because I had been drinking.
Please consider these points and I hope you will let go of your anger now.
P.S. I am enclosing egg tarts I baked myself. It’s a confident work.'”
“…If you’re going to read it, just read it silently?”
“Where’s my letter?”
Lee Hyeonseok read aloud the reply I wrote to Cheon Jaekyung. At his incredibly rude attitude, I pressed my forehead and complained, but he very naturally ignored my words and asked. It was infuriating.
“What?”
“My letter.”
Lee Hyeonseok demanded so naturally that for a moment I almost mistook that I’d promised to write him a letter. However, no matter how much I thought about it, there was no such thing. Lee Hyeonseok looked at me with a confident face as if he didn’t even see my dumbfounded expression.
“Why would your letter come out here?”
“Does it make sense to give one to a eunuch and not give one to me?”
When I asked without hiding my absurdity at his excessively natural-seeming attitude, Lee Hyeonseok instead made me into the weird one. Indeed, a crazy bastard’s thoughts weren’t something an ordinary person could understand. I knew I couldn’t even dare to guess, but I didn’t know it would be this different. I was really curious how one had to think to reach that conclusion. Was that the same human as me? Even if Jesus or Buddha looked most favorably, ‘jealous human’ would be the best.
…Jealous?
At the joke that came to mind momentarily, just as I was about to sneer, an absurd thought suddenly occurred. Thoughts that couldn’t be organized were mixed up messily, trying to establish an absurd hypothesis.
“You… don’t tell me…”
Even trying to think it couldn’t be so, my life recently had been too much of a surprise. I opened my mouth, unable to hide my voice trembling with anxiety and nervousness.
“Don’t tell me, what.”
“You li—”
At my unusual state, Lee Hyeonseok furrowed his brow. It was an expression doubting what crazy thing I was trying to say this time. I also knew I was trying to say something crazy, but my mouth just wouldn’t stay still. It was the moment I was trying to add the ‘k’ final consonant to ‘li’ following the stream of consciousness. What if he answers no to my question? Could I endure the embarrassment and awkwardness that would come after that answer?
“Is your purpose to fuck me over?”
In the end, to maintain a stable state, I decided to abandon the absurd hypothesis. Instead, what I put into words was a plausible hypothesis. Moreover, my question made much more sense than the question I originally intended to ask. Though I said it wasn’t intentional, the fact that I wasn’t retaliated against despite somewhat injuring Lee Hyeonseok was circumstantial evidence, and despite not being on good terms with Cheon Jaekyung, the fact that he bothered to deliver the letter to me was physical evidence.
Of course, it would be faster and more convenient for Lee Hyeonseok to fuck me over directly, but the reason he didn’t was because he was such a sinister person that he wanted to see me get fucked over by others, so he was acting laboriously.
I was being proud of myself for my reasoning that was flawless everywhere when Lee Hyeonseok looked at me expressionlessly.
“……”
If Lee Hyeonseok made excuses, I was thinking of refuting point by point, but he surprisingly just looked at me quietly without saying anything. I couldn’t even guess what he was thinking, so I too closed my mouth and obediently waited for his mouth to open.
“……?”
“?”
After thinking for a long while, Lee Hyeonseok was somehow puzzled. I somehow had an ominous feeling, but thinking I might create trouble from nothing, I didn’t say anything. As silence descended, I started feeling needlessly awkward and fiddled with the back of my neck while only watching for timing to leave.
At that moment, the air suddenly began to grow heavy. It wasn’t simply heavy, but I also felt a sweet scent somewhere. Lee Hyeonseok had started releasing pheromones. The fact that I, who couldn’t feel pheromones well, felt it meant Lee Hyeonseok released them strongly, and this meant it wasn’t a mistake.
“…Hey.”
It was very natural for me, who had discomfort with pheromones, to wrinkle my face. I briefly called Lee Hyeonseok as if scolding, but he didn’t even pretend to listen. Usually I could go along with Lee Hyeonseok’s wishes, but releasing pheromones was crossing the line. I turned serious, prepared to have a showdown.
“It shouldn’t be your cycle…?”
Suddenly Lee Hyeonseok muttered unsettling words. Cycle, what cycle? Anxiously examining his complexion, I now noticed his face was slightly flushed. His eyes also faintly held excitement. What I thought of first was the date of Lee Hyeonseok’s last rut. I didn’t remember the exact date, but no matter how much I thought about it, it hadn’t been a month yet. I tried hard to think Lee Hyeonseok was just unwell, but…
“You… perhaps…”
“Let’s go.”
The question I couldn’t finish was filled instead by Lee Hyeonseok’s words without an object and the act of dragging me into the room.
* * *
“…Why are you here…”
I, who had to deal with Lee Hyeonseok’s sudden and unexpected rut, was startled enough to jump at the unexpected person I faced upon opening my eyes. What actually came out of my mouth wasn’t dismay or anything like that, but dissatisfaction in a displeased tone. Lee Hyeonseok, whom I’d never once seen lying next to me when I opened my eyes as if the timing was always off, was sleeping with a comfortable face.
Various emotions arose at the scene I was seeing for the first time since mingling bodies. Indeed, the scariest affections in the world were body affection and hate affection. Even though we mingled bodies, I’d feel indescribable swelling emotions toward the person I saw as soon as I opened my eyes, yet I endlessly hated him and wanted to cover his nose and mouth. I couldn’t control the irritation that welled up at that satisfied-looking face.
“Tch.”
Still, I couldn’t cover the face of a bastard sleeping well with a pillow, so I decided to look for another method. Though I thought it petty even myself, I decided to write a letter as Lee Hyeonseok wanted and put my heart into it. Given his personality, he’d definitely be bothersome until he received it.
As expected, when I neatly tore the diary and held a pen, my hand wrote down letters as if it had a will of its own.
「I won’t let you off, Lee Hyeonseok.」
“…No, not this.”
This content was too raw. This wasn’t a letter but a challenge to a duel. I was going to crumple up the paper, but in case someone might see it, I drew dozens of lines with a pen to make the content unreadable, then tore it into small pieces.
I tore the paper neatly once more. This time I decided to calm down and write in a purified way. Earlier I just woke up so I couldn’t control myself a bit.
「You’re fucking awful.」
Though more purified than before, this too was straightforward. This time too, I drew lines enough to make the content unreadable, then tore it into small pieces. What’s the problem? What problem—Lee Hyeonseok is the problem.
“Phew…”
After placing my hand on my chest, I took a deep breath and exhaled long. After repeating it several times, I seemed to have calmed down. This time I first wrote the sentence ‘To Lee Hyeonseok.’
If I start with a formal sentence, an ordinary letter will come out. I roughly decided to write nicely ‘I’m having a hard time lately so don’t harass me too much and let’s get along well.’
「To Lee Hyeonseok.
It’s so hard I wonder if I’m receiving divine punishment.
It’s only painful to be waiting idly,
I feel like I’m spending my days meaninglessly.
Stop acting like a dog,
And treat me well with a new mindset.
If you think fondly of me who’s even acting cute while making efforts, it won’t be so hard.」
“Mm… Let’s quit!”
My lingering resentment toward Lee Hyeonseok seemed bigger than I thought. I decided to quit writing the letter and was about to draw lines again to make the content invisible when I heard a voice still carrying drowsiness.
“Quit what?”
“Ah, no!”
“Yes.”
Without needing to turn my head, feeling Lee Hyeonseok who had gotten up approach from behind, I first tried to hide the letter by lying down on it, but Lee Hyeonseok had already snatched the corner of the paper. What was fortunate was that my lying down speed was also fast, so he couldn’t perfectly take the paper and only took a part after it tore vertically.
I rather hoped Lee Hyeonseok wouldn’t figure out the true meaning contained in the writing and peeked at which part he took.
「This son of a bitch under heaven」
Without looking at Lee Hyeonseok or making excuses, I jumped up from my seat to leave the room. It was a quick judgment, but there was nowhere to run anyway and Lee Hyeonseok had good physical abilities.
I didn’t want to know how much a leather whip hurt.
