The nightscape of Washington D.C., which Hyungoh was seeing for the first time in his life, wasn’t particularly special. The scenery wasn’t notably new, and there were fewer colorful lights than expected for the number of buildings.
Perhaps it was because he was in a hotel area with few people around. Hyungoh thought as he gently caressed the window curtain.
“Mr. Choi, may I come in?”
At the polite knock, he drew the curtain closed again. With only the warm orange light from the lamp illuminating the surroundings, he felt an almost solemn mood.
Thinking it was another investigator, Hyungoh approached the door. After the incident, they had brought him to Washington where the FBI headquarters was located under the pretext of protection, and had been monitoring him frequently.
In a way, it made sense. He had been found sprawled in front of Federico, covered in the blood of Hunter, a former Gostin executive. They wouldn’t let someone like him slip away.
Come to think of it, all the information they could have dug up about him was probably just “a man who was unemployed in Korea, came to America, and then went missing,” which was laughable. He never expected that tampering with his personal information would work out this way.
One of the investigators who had come a few days ago was convinced that Hyungoh was pretending to be crazy. He hadn’t intended to be silent for that purpose, but what she said wasn’t entirely wrong.
He had a lot to think about. That’s probably why he didn’t have the capacity to focus on what others were saying. He had suddenly regained memories he had erased, and dealing with that wasn’t an easy task.
Wondering what kind of persuasion they would try this time, he opened the door to find a middle-aged woman in a neatly matched suit standing there. She fit the typical appearance of an FBI agent character often seen in movies or dramas.
“Today I’ve brought someone special for you.”
Hyungoh glanced at the chubby man standing beside her. His attention naturally went to the half-tattered, worn leather bag and the mud-colored suit with threads popping out here and there.
“Pleased to meet you, I’m Dr. Noah Harland.”
“He’s a person whose reputation is so well-known in this area that there’s nobody who doesn’t know him.”
“Haha, I’m embarrassed to say my fame might be more as a drunkard wandering the alleys every night. Anyway, thanks, Sarah.”
“Not at all.”
Disliking the man who laughed heartily, Hyungoh ignored his outstretched hand and sat on the sofa. Looking slightly awkward, Noah nodded as he sat across from Hyungoh, and Sarah excused herself.
“I know you must be tired from receiving visitors at all hours. Today, I haven’t come to pressure you like the investigators have been doing, so I hope you can lower your guard a bit.”
Hyungoh maintained his usual stance of ignoring him. He thought that if he kept his mouth shut for about an hour, most people would give up and leave, and the man across from him called Noah would probably do the same.
However, contrary to his expectations, Noah firmly held his ground. He seemed unfazed, as if he had already heard about this from the investigators.
“……”
Contrary to expectations, two hours had already passed. Even if he continued to endure with silence, it seemed like Noah would stay until the end. Dr. Noah Harland. Hyungoh sensed something different about him compared to other investigators.
“I’m guessing you’re a psychiatrist who came to provide psychological counseling.”
At Hyungoh’s words finally breaking the silence, Noah smiled broadly as if he had been waiting for this.
“Oh! You’re quite perceptive.”
“I thought your doctor’s bag looked a bit small.”
Hyungoh politely folded his hands and gave Noah a gentle smile. “I’m glad you seem willing to talk with me.” Noah began to lead the conversation in earnest.
“Everyone is worried about you. You’ve never properly answered their questions, have you? Staring blankly at your palms or being unable to take your eyes off the window… I heard you’ve been acting as if possessed by a ghost.”
“I feel sorry hearing that.”
But I couldn’t help it. I needed to organize my thoughts. Responding amicably, Noah’s eyes lit up.
“No one is scolding you, so you don’t need to apologize. May I ask what thoughts you were organizing?”
“Hmm.”
Hyungoh tilted his head.
“Since it’s not all sorted out yet… I’m not sure what to tell you first.”
“Unorganized thoughts are fine too. The most important thing in our conversation is for you to unburden your mind of what has been troubling you.”
It was a slick statement. Should I tell him or not? Hyungoh leaned back and rested his head on the sofa.
“…Until a few days ago, I just thought I was unlucky.”
Hyungoh’s shadow, as he spoke almost like a recitation, was cast on the ceiling, drawn by the lamp light.
“I felt frustrated and resentful about how I got involved with dangerous people and suffered hardships.”
“……”
“I didn’t want to become like them. Really, I hated it so much. I felt wronged, wondering why they kept drawing me in.”
I’m different from them, I thought I was different… Before he could finish speaking, a laugh burst out. Speaking to himself in the quiet room, he found himself ridiculous. The doctor sitting across from him, maintaining silence as if listening to some grand speech, was also absurd.
“But what do you know, I turned out to be the worst of all.”
A bitter taste lingered at the end of his laughter. Noah, who had been quietly observing Hyungoh as he habitually rubbed his forehead, nodded and carefully spoke.
“First, I want to thank you for answering honestly. I was tense because I heard you barely speak, but now I feel more at ease.”
“I guess even I was feeling stifled from keeping my mouth shut for so long.”
“Haha, that could be. But Mr. Choi, what was the first emotion you felt after realizing this?”
“Hmm, are you asking about my feelings after realizing I wasn’t much different from them?”
“Yes.”
“Are you really curious about that part?”
Rather than who those people around me were, or what that ‘worst’ means? As his questioning tone carried a thorn, Noah responded as if to explain.
“As I said earlier, I’m here not to interrogate you but to heal the wounds in your heart.”
“I don’t particularly want to be healed.”
“……”
“I don’t want to heal my wounds, Noah.”
As Hyungoh emphasized this, Noah wiped his moistened forehead, contemplating his response.
“May I ask you for one favor?”
Suddenly Hyungoh lowered his voice secretively.
“Yes? Of, of course.”
“After that incident, my friends and I were scattered. I’m grateful for the protection the agents provide, but having been practically confined here for several days, I’ve been worried.”
I was wondering if you could find out how my friends are doing for me. Hyungoh said, fidgeting with his fingers. Although there was a sense of incongruity due to his sudden change in attitude from listlessly speaking to this, Noah answered with a smile.
“Yes, I’ll try to find out.”
“If possible… without the agents knowing… could you?”
“I’ll try that too. I have a strong desire to help you.”
“Thank you. Actually, that was the most mentally challenging part, I’m fortunate to have you.”
“It’s nothing, I’m just doing my job.”
Noah felt relieved at the mellowed atmosphere. Noting that the counseling time the agent had instructed was nearing its end, he checked his wristwatch and stood up.
“Then I’ll see you tomorrow. Try not to worry too much.”
When Noah offered his hand again, unlike before, Hyungoh shook it with a shy smile.
“I’m glad to have found a reliable friend. This place seems comfortable, but it’s actually a bleak and lonely space.”
“I’m also glad that you’ve opened up to me.”
“But you still don’t ask about the important things.”
The smile disappeared instantly from Hyungoh’s face. Noah, who had been relaxing, flinched at this change in expression.
“You don’t seem curious about who these friends I mentioned might be. Almost as if you already know everything.”
Noah unconsciously swallowed dry saliva, afraid that Hyungoh’s sharp eyes might pierce him.
“…I had a brief explanation about Mr. Choi before arriving here, so I know roughly. I just refrained from mentioning it, worried that you might feel uncomfortable knowing this fact, but it seems I’ve created a misunderstanding.”
I apologize if I’ve offended you. When Noah apologized with a good-natured smile, Hyungoh smiled back.
I see. I’m sorry for reacting so sharply as well. As Hyungoh opened the door for him, their brief meeting came to an end.
“……”
After closing the door, Hyungoh sat back on the sofa. His eyes were still staring at the door as if to pierce through it.
